Prison Song
When I opened my eyes,
I was mad and frustrated.
I was curled up in a ball,
with my knees to my chest
and my wrists tightly cuffed behind me.
I couldn’t even bring my arms to the front.
I couldn’t hold myself for comfort.
I was unable to remove the hair from my face
and I couldn’t dry my tears.
I just had to watch the blood
as it left stains
on the dress you had
once told me,
I looked like a queen in.
You've taken my entire life away.
The way I used to dress up my dolls,
is the way I dress myself.
I just want to be pretty for you.
I do the things you like
so that you know
I am the only one to
get the job done
for you.
I look into the mirror
and in my eyes, I see your face.
“You are my heart and my soul.”
Why did it become dangerous
when you said those words to me?
No man has ever loved me.
I love how you want to keep me safe.
You want to keep me to yourself
and own my embrace.
The truth is as it is.
Either way I want to be happy.
Either way I need to feel loved.
I started hearing footsteps,
but I didn’t see a thing.
In shock from it all
my body stopped shivering.
Suddenly my eyes began to burn.
Then, tears dispersed.
The reason is cause you
turned the lights on.
I had been sitting in the dark all day.
When I saw you,
I quickly stood to my feet.
I had a smile on my face
just to greet.
No matter how much love I show you,
you still manage to hurt me.
As if I’m not already in cuffs,
you question me.
You're insecure.
I didn't do anything
to make you not trust me.
If you released me today,
you'd still have me.
That's how much
I love you.
I suppress the anger I have
from the depression you cause on me.
Why must my prison be your insecurity?
Through this relationship’s insanity
I see your humanity
and sensitivity.
I love you too much,
so I just try to give you what you need.
I'll always nurture you and make you feel strong.
Why do you take that strength and use it to fight me?
It isn't fair the
way you lock me up,
then say you’re going out
because you feel lonely.
It leaves me hurting
when you say it’s me you want,
but you don’t ever want to be with me.
You’re only around when
everything else fails.
When you’re at your most frail
is when you call because you know,
I will always be there
as your pretty little punching bag.
Tonight I sing a prison song.
If you have learned nothing,
I’ve learned something.
I've got to quit making the assumption
that just because I love you,
you’re gonna love me.
You will just take my all
until I have nothing left.
I've got to stop giving.
The way I used to dress up my dolls
is the way I dress up myself.
Not for you,
not for anyone else.
I just want to feel good
Because I am free.
My newly found freedom
is in the strongest
of my abilities.
A butterfly’s beauty is in my completeness
and there’s no story,
like the colors in my wings.