Prose - a Fist Shaken at the Heavens

You know me
And I'm talking to you
There is no reason to pretend
What I say is what I think
There is no difference
It is honesty's blend
Yes
I'm angry
And you know why
Because a child
May lose its mother
And I hear that baby's cry
I relinquish
My right
To live in comfortable bliss
When everyone it seems
Is fighting for their life
And awaiting Peter's kiss
We live in a world
Where bombs explode
To glorify God
And a princess
Is crowned
To create heaven from sod
And for what?
Existence?
Our so-called gift
Bestowed upon us
While through time
And experience we sift
Set in motion
As we wait
And wait
Then
The battle begins
As we curse our fate
We live
In denial
Of our mortality
And of life’s betrayal
Of ourselves
And our personal reality
And of those
Whom we love
And even those
Who we do not know
So I feel nothing
Even though I wear no clothes
In my time
I am becoming
Smaller
My helplessness
Is growing
Larger
I question
More and more
What answers exist?
None can be found
Only demands to ignore
And temptation to resist
Is the afterlife
All that we have?
Or is it the waiting?
Is it a test?
Or is it
Destiny's mating?
Pronounced
As we are laid to rest
But what do we bring
Dead memories
Or a living soul?
It is a song no one can sing
Contentment
Fleeting safe harbor
With change ready for sea
As you look in earnest
For the moment time stole
And who you used to be
Pain
And unhappiness
Sent from the grand brooder
Coming
To sweep away delusion
And re-establish order
The order of reality
The past
A complete story
Mined
For assurance
The days of your glory
In this we revel
Because it is unchanging
Compared to tomorrow
Terrifying and omnipotent
Life rearranging
A mystery of sorrow
How will I depart
This sad place?
In pain?
Or in my sleep?
Will it be in disgrace?
A victim of being vain
Why should I accept
This fate?
Am I so arrogant
To demand
Answers
And be so expectant?
When they were asked
By so many
For a thousand years
You push and pull
Confusing my senses
Reducing me to tears
I open my gifts
And turn to you
In thankful pose
Yet then I see
How my friend lives
Gripped in death's throes
As you
And you alone
Decide her coming fate
Should I be quiet
And let her cope?
While I await
The guillotine
Without question
Must I be silent
As a beautiful friend
Slowly dies
In a way so violent?
While she lives
As never before
I ask why we not worthy
To live
A mere lifetime
Knowing our fate's story?
Why must it be cut short?
Why must we be consumed
With fear
And live in pain?
Losing a lover
Removed as I draw near
Taken from my life
Or of my friends
By her own hand
Or yours
Plunged into the depths
Where dissent is banned
Where forgetfulness
Covers my body
With your ubiquitous power
My choice
To suffocate
Or rise to the surface for life to devour
LIfe
Nothing
But hope
Which I cannot understand
Why?
It seems I cannot cope
We are not worthy
We must prove ourselves
Daily
To our maker
Whose bread
We must consume gratefully
However hard
However stale
However moldy
I will not go quietly
Yes
I question God boldly
Are you there?
I defy you now
How can you be so cruel
When you bring suffering
With a mere wisp
For the fool
Of absolution
And a faithful hope
For streets of gold
In a paradise
Longed over
By mankind as it was foretold
And yet
There are no raised dead
Among us all
To tell us
What is in store
Only a book about mankind's fall
Written in another language
From long ago
Yes we cope
Some believe
Others reject
But we meet the challenge with hope
Mankind lives on
Through all manner of plagues
From above
And from within
But we ask
Where is your love?
And who are you?
A myth?
A jealous lover?
How strong can you be
When you bring such random
Acquittal to our brother?
Pardoning our sins
Causing us pain
And suffering
Yes
Anger is in me
As you are smothering
My body
My soul
My mind
With madness
Over your plan
Which I will never find
Strike me down if you live
So everyone else can know
That you are real
Stop asking us to believe
In things that cannot be seen
Our rational self you do steal
Stop preying on our need
To face death
With hope for meaning
Come to me now
Save her life
Spare her children who are kneeling
Spare them
From ghosts in the night
Spare her friend
Of questions
Of shrugging Nihilism
And risking an untimely end
Of living for today
Because tomorrow
Offers nothing
But pain and death
I am not happy
I want to believe in something
I cannot offer hope
To my fellow man
Because I say
You have abandoned us
God
Do you hear while in purgatory I lay?
You ask me to hear you
But do you hear me?
Are you there?
Is this another loud plea
That will be met by a storm?
Or is it a mere whisper
That will be met
With silence without form?
It is your choice
Because we have none
But to live and die
With dignity without a voice
And grace
And yet
We live and perish
With greed
And lust
Because of lives so nightmarish
So we turn to sin
The sin you tempt us with
The sin you created
Holy sin
Too powerful
For the sheep whom you've vacated
What we cannot ignore
We do experience
Not in memory of Jesus
But because
We are alone
He is not among us
But tell me
Are you?
Because it seems
You need my belief
To keep you alive
Even with all your extremes
So who is alone?
Who is powerful?
Who can you see?
Who is real?
Is it you?
Or is it me?