Prose - I'm Not There
It’s hard for me
You look me in the eye
And you want me
But I want the sky
It’s hard for you
You want to drink tea
And be in love
But I want the sea
What you want
Is not me
What I want
You can't see
I want the world
I want life’s problems
I want to think
I want to solve them
You want a quiet moment
And so do I
But you want to relax
While I want to ask why
And then you ask me
Why do you have to be that way?
I don’t know why
It covers me where I lay
I see your frustration
Instead of an oasis
I bring discomfort
And restlessness
I want to dig deep
Into the reservoir of emotion
I want to feel the pain
Of the human condition
You want to escape
You need me to take you there
Instead I push you away
All you can do is sit and stare
I let you in my life
As far as I can
I know it’s not enough
I’m not a companion
Yet you seem drawn
To the pictures I paint
The words are like a movie
You watch while I show no restraint
I want to drink that cup
And show you I can care
But as soon as I sit down
My mind drifts somewhere
And it’s not here
It’s not with you
Even with all your beauty
I still can see through
I see through you
As if you aren’t there
Because in fact you aren’t
You’re gone and I paid the fare
And when I sit alone
And wonder what I’ve done
You will think about me
While you are with another one
Drinking your tea
And being loved
While I suffer over you
And riddles that are unsolved
