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Quotations for Laughs #44 --- Detours & Road Construction

Updated on March 8, 2011

Detour & Road Construction Jokes

Tourists on some highways are calling themselves detourists.

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., May 16, 1968.

Insofar as detours are concerned, very few of them are paved with good intentions.

—W.P. Ball, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., Aug. 12, 1936.

The road to ruin has no bad detours to slow us down.

—Bert Moses, Lake Charles American-Press, Lake Charles, La., Jan. 27, 1931.

Don't burn your bridges behind you unless you want to detour when you come back.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Dec. 8, 1928.

Detour: The roughest distance between two points.

—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, Jan. 2, 1957.

The state highway commission spends so much time making detours that they don’t have any time left to work on any roads.

—Dan Valentine, Salt Lake Telegram, Salt Lake City, Utah, Aug. 7, 1952.

The road to success would be shorter for most men, if it were not so full of tempting little sentimental detours.

—Helen Rowland, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., Aug. 31, 1927.

Folks who dodge their obligations often find the detour rougher than the highway of plain duty.

—Purser Hewitt, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., Nov. 3, 1972.

Work is said to be the only road to success, but we don't see how work can be a road. There aren't any detours in it.

Nashville Bannner, Nashville, Tenn., Jan. 25, 1925.

Money can't smooth life's roads, but it can make the detours more enjoyable.

—Tom Ethridge, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., Jan. 31, 1972.

Detour: The shortest distance between two traffic cops.

—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, May 9, 1958.

Detour: A road on which no turn is left unstoned.

—D.O. Flynn, Look, Des Moines, Iowa, Aug. 9, 1955.

Choosing the wrong fork is a serious social error, especially if it's the wrong fork on a five-mile detour.

Saturday Evening Post, Philadelphia, Pa., Sept. 4, 1937.

Love may move mountains, but it doesn’t take the bumps out of the detours.

—John P. Medbury, Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, April 30, 1928.

Impulsive actions detour the brain and takes you down a blind alley.

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., March 25, 1960.

Even along the road of gaining wisdom, man goes down the detour of foolishness occasionally.

—Purser Hewitt, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., April 28, 1967.

Contentment is the ability to enjoy the scenery along a detour.

—Hamilton G. Park, Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, July 18, 1946.

Even the road to fame has some tough detours.

—W.A. MacKenzie, The Leesburg Morning Commercial, Leesburg, Fla., July 28, 1927.

We saw a sign: "Road Under Construction, Travel At Your Own Risk." When does a driver ever travel a public road except at his own risk?

—Tom Ethridge, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., July 11, 1970.

Sign of the week: "Prepare to Meet Thy Roadmaker--Construction Ahead."

—B. Bader, Family Weekly, New York, N.Y., Sept. 23, 1979.

Slogan for an increased beer tax to finance highway construction: "Drink so others may drive."

—Bill Vaughan, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, St. Louis, Mo., Feb. 12, 1967.

The worst crime in some streets is the way the city keeps them repaired.

—Walter Streightiff, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., April 24, 1970.

The first thing most people will do with a new car is wonder when the country is going to fix the roads.

Lake Charles American Press, Lake Charles, La., Sept. 12, 1945.

Since there isn’t enough money to fill all the potholes, how about painting the edges red so we can at least dodge them?

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., April 22, 1980.

Some of our streets are so bad these days that even the chuckholes have chuckholes!

—Dan Valentine, Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, Sept. 29, 1953.

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