ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Quotations for Laughs #44 --- Detours & Road Construction

Updated on March 8, 2011

Detour & Road Construction Jokes

Tourists on some highways are calling themselves detourists.

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., May 16, 1968.

Insofar as detours are concerned, very few of them are paved with good intentions.

—W.P. Ball, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., Aug. 12, 1936.

The road to ruin has no bad detours to slow us down.

—Bert Moses, Lake Charles American-Press, Lake Charles, La., Jan. 27, 1931.

Don't burn your bridges behind you unless you want to detour when you come back.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Dec. 8, 1928.

Detour: The roughest distance between two points.

—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, Jan. 2, 1957.

The state highway commission spends so much time making detours that they don’t have any time left to work on any roads.

—Dan Valentine, Salt Lake Telegram, Salt Lake City, Utah, Aug. 7, 1952.

The road to success would be shorter for most men, if it were not so full of tempting little sentimental detours.

—Helen Rowland, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., Aug. 31, 1927.

Folks who dodge their obligations often find the detour rougher than the highway of plain duty.

—Purser Hewitt, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., Nov. 3, 1972.

Work is said to be the only road to success, but we don't see how work can be a road. There aren't any detours in it.

Nashville Bannner, Nashville, Tenn., Jan. 25, 1925.

Money can't smooth life's roads, but it can make the detours more enjoyable.

—Tom Ethridge, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., Jan. 31, 1972.

Detour: The shortest distance between two traffic cops.

—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, May 9, 1958.

Detour: A road on which no turn is left unstoned.

—D.O. Flynn, Look, Des Moines, Iowa, Aug. 9, 1955.

Choosing the wrong fork is a serious social error, especially if it's the wrong fork on a five-mile detour.

Saturday Evening Post, Philadelphia, Pa., Sept. 4, 1937.

Love may move mountains, but it doesn’t take the bumps out of the detours.

—John P. Medbury, Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, April 30, 1928.

Impulsive actions detour the brain and takes you down a blind alley.

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., March 25, 1960.

Even along the road of gaining wisdom, man goes down the detour of foolishness occasionally.

—Purser Hewitt, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., April 28, 1967.

Contentment is the ability to enjoy the scenery along a detour.

—Hamilton G. Park, Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, July 18, 1946.

Even the road to fame has some tough detours.

—W.A. MacKenzie, The Leesburg Morning Commercial, Leesburg, Fla., July 28, 1927.

We saw a sign: "Road Under Construction, Travel At Your Own Risk." When does a driver ever travel a public road except at his own risk?

—Tom Ethridge, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., July 11, 1970.

Sign of the week: "Prepare to Meet Thy Roadmaker--Construction Ahead."

—B. Bader, Family Weekly, New York, N.Y., Sept. 23, 1979.

Slogan for an increased beer tax to finance highway construction: "Drink so others may drive."

—Bill Vaughan, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, St. Louis, Mo., Feb. 12, 1967.

The worst crime in some streets is the way the city keeps them repaired.

—Walter Streightiff, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., April 24, 1970.

The first thing most people will do with a new car is wonder when the country is going to fix the roads.

Lake Charles American Press, Lake Charles, La., Sept. 12, 1945.

Since there isn’t enough money to fill all the potholes, how about painting the edges red so we can at least dodge them?

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., April 22, 1980.

Some of our streets are so bad these days that even the chuckholes have chuckholes!

—Dan Valentine, Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, Sept. 29, 1953.


Submit a Comment

No comments yet.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)