ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Quotations for Laughs #52 --- Barbers & Hair

Updated on March 8, 2011

Barber Jokes & Hair Jokes (Set No. 3)

Repetition–Doing something over again, like the barber who cuts hair all day and then goes home and mows the lawn.

—Lorrie Brooks, Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Oct. 10, 1955.

Barber: A man you’ve got to take your hat off to.

—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, Dec. 30, 1963.

Our national problems are getting so complicated that even your barber may have trouble giving you all the answers.

Houston Post, Houston, Texas, Sept. 14, 1964.

Maybe it would be a good idea if a barber change double for the person who always goes around with a long face.

Morning Advocate, Baton Rouge, La., Feb. 29, 1956.

Inflation is closing the generation gap. Junior won't get a haircut and Dad can't afford one.

—Robert Orben, San Francisco Examiner, San Francisco, Calif., Aug. 29, 1971.

Shams are not entirely without virtue. A toupee for instance never sheds dandruff.

—Al Warden, Ogden Standard-Examiner, Ogden, Utah, June 24, 1926.

A dude wearing a toupee is using an assumed mane.

—Purser Hewitt, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., July 21, 1972.

Why don't you go buy a toupee with a built-in brain?

—Joe E. Lewis, Morning Advocate, Baton Rouge, La., Jan. 13, 1956.

A toupee is ear-to-ear carpeting.

Houston Post, Houston, Texas, May 22, 1965.

A man is as young as he feels–until he buys a toupee.

—Hamilton G. Park, Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, July 24, 1939.

Class reunion: Some old faces and new toupees.

—Jack Rosenbaum, San Francisco Examiner, San Francisco, Calif., Jan. 27, 1974.

Top secret–a toupee.

—Dorothy Sarnoff, Houston Post, Houston, Texas, July 10, 1951.

Nature is strange. You can become bald at 25 but you have to shave every day of your life.

—Tom Ethridge, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., May 26, 1972.

A man's bald head is a shining example of middle age.

—Tony Bennett, Houston Post, Houston, Texas, May 4, 1954.

Anyhow, the bald man hasn't much overhead expense.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Sept. 8, 1919.

My husband proudly drove our new convertible with its top down, into the driveway. Our four-year-old daughter ran out to greet him and exclaimed in delight, "Daddy, our new car is bald-headed!"

—Mrs. Mark White, Family Weekly, New York, N.Y., Sept. 14, 1975.

Next to money, the hardest thing to keep is hair.

—Bert Moses, Lake Charles American-Press, Lake Charles, La., March 10, 1927.

It's sad but true–money and hair seem important only when you no longer have any.

Houston Post, Houston, Texas, Dec. 8, 1960.

There may be certain advantages for the man who dyes his hair. On the other hand, it may be only those silvery threads that give him a reputation for intelligence around the office.

—Bill Vaughan, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, St. Louis, Mo., Dec. 16, 1966.

Bald head: A man who got caught in a hair raid.

—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, March 15, 1964.

Irony: The comb that experience hands us after we’ve lost our hair.

—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, Sept. 19, 1956.

In youth, growth works on the hair; in old age, on the waist line.

—Bert Moses, Lake Charles American-Press, Lake Charles, La., Jan. 11, 1928.

You know you're getting old when you can comb your hair with a washcloth.

—Anne Vivian, Chicago Tribune, Chicago, Ill., Jan. 20, 1980.

She was only a barber’s daughter, but she knew how to get in your hair.

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., Nov. 26, 1965.

A man could get a lot more done if it didn’t take so long to cover a bald spot.

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., Nov. 7, 1968.

Comments

Submit a Comment

No comments yet.

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)