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Quotations for Laughs #54 --- Beauty Parlors & Women's Hair

Updated on March 8, 2011

Beauty Parlor Jokes & Women's Hair Jokes (Set No. 2)

The beauty parlor is the garage where a woman has the dents removed, renews the punctured tires of her vanity and obtains a fresh supply of hope, for the last stretch of the Love Race.

—Helen Rowland, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., June 29, 1927.

The beauty parlors have made it risky for a man to say whether his wife is a blonde or a brunette until he gets back home to see.

—W.P. Ball, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., July 31, 1935.

Untouchable: A wife who just got home from the beauty parlor.

—Tom Ethridge, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., Sept. 18, 1972.

Has any beauty parlor ever been sued for taking money under false pretenses?

—Wayne Thompson, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., Oct. 21, 1966.

Our idea of hard luck is to get a wrinkle from worrying over a bill from the beauty parlor.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Oct. 25, 1923.

My wife found a beauty parlor that has a recovery room.

—Henny Youngman, Parade, New York, N.Y., Nov. 5, 1967.

Sign in window of beauty parlor: “Don’t whistle at girls working here. One of them may be your grandmother.”

—Les Goates, Deseret News, Salt Lake City, Utah, March 11, 1948.

If a man's best friend is the dog, a woman's best friend is her hair stylist.

—Harold Coffin, San Francisco Examiner, San Francisco, Calif., March 11, 1973.

A hypochondriac is a woman who consults her physician as often as she sees her hair stylist.

—Harold Coffin, San Francisco Examiner, San Francisco, Calif., April 1, 1973.

The only thing more futile than a woman's search for her lost youth in a beauty shop is a man's search for his in a young girl's flattery.

—Helen Rowland, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., Feb. 7, 1934.

In a beauty parlor the talk is enough to curl your hair.

Milwaukee Journal, Milwaukee, Wis., July 25, 1957.

Beauty is only skin deep, but that is no sign the beauty shop will skin you.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Nov. 3, 1929.

A beauty shop is a garage where women go for repairs.

—Bert Moses, Lake Charles American Press, Lake Charles, La., Jan. 1, 1944.

A girl just out of the beauty shop walks as if all that’s holding her up is the hair spray.

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., March 14, 1969.

All things come to a man who waits–except his wife when she’s in a beauty parlor!

—Dan Valentine, Salt Lake Telegram, Salt Lake City, Utah, Feb. 26, 1951.

Stylists seem to think you have to first be a sight to get a second look.

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., June 24, 1968.

A blonde is superior to a cat. A cat can only die nine times.

Lone Star Scanner, quoted in Milwaukee Sentinel, Milwaukee, Wis., April 10, 1949.

A lucky man is one who has found both beauty and brains in a woman and has sense enough to stop looking further.

—O.A. Battista, New York Herald Tribune, New York, N.Y., Aug. 11, 1957.

If a man’s heart isn’t related to his stomach–why does he always drink in a girl’s beauty and always act starved for love?

The Commercial Dispatch, Columbus, Miss., Jan. 9, 1935.

Middle age is the point at which a woman becomes more or less resigned to everything– except the color of hair that the Lord gave her.

—Helen Rowland, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., Feb. 19, 1930.

You can't judge a man's generosity by the size of his dinner check or by his tip to the waiter, any more than you can judge a woman's age by the color of her hair or the number of candles on her birthday cake.

—Helen Rowland, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., Feb. 5, 1929.

Only a woman knows what a hairdo does.

—Harold Coffin, San Francisco Examiner, San Francisco, Calif., March 11, 1973.

Lying is like bleaching your hair; once you begin, you have to keep it up forever to keep from being found out.

Manti Messenger, Manti, Utah, July 20, 1917.

Gray hair: The soft silvering over the evening of life.

—Vera Wise, The Daily Herald, Biloxi, Miss., March 20, 1946.

Artificial beauty is only make-up deep.

—W.P. Ball, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., Aug. 1, 1936.


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    7 years ago

    nice to meet you on a great day


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