ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Quotations for Laughs #67 --- Trains

Updated on March 27, 2011

Train Humor (Set No. 1)

A train whistling at a crossing is giving a hoot for your life.

—Lewis T. Nordyke, Amarillo Daily News, Amarillo, Texas, May 9, 1950.

They have a new pill to ease trips on choo-choos. It’s called a trainquilizer.

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., Jan. 17, 1968.

Unfortunately the train of thought of many folks operates on a narrow gauge track.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Jan. 14, 1935.

There’s one advantage in having a single-track mind. Your trains of thought can never collide.

—John P. Medbury, Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, July 22, 1929.

The train of thought is easily uncoupled.

Athens Messenger, Athens, Ohio, March 26, 1903.

You can't follow a train of thought with a one track mind.

—Lee Chester, Clarksville Leaf-Chronicle, Clarksville, Tenn., Nov. 1, 1928.

The trouble with some trains of thought is that they don't get there soon enough.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Nov. 6, 1905.

Occasionally we meet a man whose train of thought reminds us of a row of flat cars.

Amboy News, Amboy, Ill., March 8, 1912.

A train of thought that seems to be a slow freight is often made up entirely of empties.

Kellogg Evening News, Kellogg, Idaho, July 4, 1931.

Most of us have a caboose of thought; very few have a complete train of thought.

—Evelyn Jeane McCarty, The Prairie, Canyon, Texas, Dec. 15, 1942.

As to trains of thought, some people have only toy ones, while others come thundering along like a double-header freight.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Oct. 1, 1905.

Few trains of thought are loaded to full capacity.

Deseret News, Salt Lake City, Utah, May 27, 1911.

A signal failure has wrecked many a train of thought.

Idaho Statesman, Boise, Idaho, March 31, 1919.

Often the trouble with a train of thought is that the engineer is asleep.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Jan. 29, 1940.

Some men's trains of thought are little more than garbage carts.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, May 3, 1909.

Trains of thought are often delayed by excess baggage.

Crowley Daily Signal, Crowley, La., June 18, 1924.

Man's train of thought hardly ever runs far away from the eating station.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, March 21, 1909.

A train of thought is useless if the mind is off the track.

Florida Times-Union, Jacksonville, Fla., June 19, 1909.

Too many trains of thought are on the sidetracks with the switch locked and the engineer asleep.

Nashville Banner, Nashville, Tenn., March 17, 1925.

A train of thought in some folks seems to have no conductor.

Humboldt Star, Winnemucca, Nev., June 25, 1915.

Many a train of thought runs into a head-on collision.

—Roy E. Gibson, Nephi Times-News, Nephi, Utah, June 20, 1957.

Many a man with a one-track mind has a train of thought that never runs on schedule.

—Carey Williams, Beaumont Enterprise, Beaumont, Texas, Feb. 11, 1964.

A train of thought on a one-track mind is composed of shuttle cars.

Blackfoot Optimist, Blackfoot, Idaho, April 5, 1917.

A man may possess a train of thought and yet fail in securing the right of way to reach his goal.

—Benjamin Arstein, San Antonio Express, San Antonio, Feb. 12, 1911.

Single-track minds have an advantage. They don't have to worry about switching facilities for trains of thought.

—Jack Haney, The Times-Picayune, New Orleans, La., March 19, 1926.

Comments

Submit a Comment

No comments yet.

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)