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Quotations for Laughs #67 --- Trains

Updated on March 27, 2011

Train Humor (Set No. 1)

A train whistling at a crossing is giving a hoot for your life.

—Lewis T. Nordyke, Amarillo Daily News, Amarillo, Texas, May 9, 1950.

They have a new pill to ease trips on choo-choos. It’s called a trainquilizer.

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., Jan. 17, 1968.

Unfortunately the train of thought of many folks operates on a narrow gauge track.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Jan. 14, 1935.

There’s one advantage in having a single-track mind. Your trains of thought can never collide.

—John P. Medbury, Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, July 22, 1929.

The train of thought is easily uncoupled.

Athens Messenger, Athens, Ohio, March 26, 1903.

You can't follow a train of thought with a one track mind.

—Lee Chester, Clarksville Leaf-Chronicle, Clarksville, Tenn., Nov. 1, 1928.

The trouble with some trains of thought is that they don't get there soon enough.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Nov. 6, 1905.

Occasionally we meet a man whose train of thought reminds us of a row of flat cars.

Amboy News, Amboy, Ill., March 8, 1912.

A train of thought that seems to be a slow freight is often made up entirely of empties.

Kellogg Evening News, Kellogg, Idaho, July 4, 1931.

Most of us have a caboose of thought; very few have a complete train of thought.

—Evelyn Jeane McCarty, The Prairie, Canyon, Texas, Dec. 15, 1942.

As to trains of thought, some people have only toy ones, while others come thundering along like a double-header freight.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Oct. 1, 1905.

Few trains of thought are loaded to full capacity.

Deseret News, Salt Lake City, Utah, May 27, 1911.

A signal failure has wrecked many a train of thought.

Idaho Statesman, Boise, Idaho, March 31, 1919.

Often the trouble with a train of thought is that the engineer is asleep.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Jan. 29, 1940.

Some men's trains of thought are little more than garbage carts.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, May 3, 1909.

Trains of thought are often delayed by excess baggage.

Crowley Daily Signal, Crowley, La., June 18, 1924.

Man's train of thought hardly ever runs far away from the eating station.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, March 21, 1909.

A train of thought is useless if the mind is off the track.

Florida Times-Union, Jacksonville, Fla., June 19, 1909.

Too many trains of thought are on the sidetracks with the switch locked and the engineer asleep.

Nashville Banner, Nashville, Tenn., March 17, 1925.

A train of thought in some folks seems to have no conductor.

Humboldt Star, Winnemucca, Nev., June 25, 1915.

Many a train of thought runs into a head-on collision.

—Roy E. Gibson, Nephi Times-News, Nephi, Utah, June 20, 1957.

Many a man with a one-track mind has a train of thought that never runs on schedule.

—Carey Williams, Beaumont Enterprise, Beaumont, Texas, Feb. 11, 1964.

A train of thought on a one-track mind is composed of shuttle cars.

Blackfoot Optimist, Blackfoot, Idaho, April 5, 1917.

A man may possess a train of thought and yet fail in securing the right of way to reach his goal.

—Benjamin Arstein, San Antonio Express, San Antonio, Feb. 12, 1911.

Single-track minds have an advantage. They don't have to worry about switching facilities for trains of thought.

—Jack Haney, The Times-Picayune, New Orleans, La., March 19, 1926.


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