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Quotations for Laughs #70 --- Gardening

Updated on March 30, 2011

Gardening Jokes (Set No. 1)

One man tells us he has given up optimism, and now speaks of his garden as an amphibious project.

—Jack Warwick, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Pittsburgh, Pa., June 19, 1945.

The grass is greener on the other side of the fence. That’s where the wind blew your seed.

—Phil Pastoret, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., June 6, 1980.

Gardening: A real down-to-earth hobby.

—Shelby Friedman, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., May 19, 1967.

Working in your garden is a matter of hoe, hoe, hoe.

San Francisco Chronicle, San Francisco, Calif., July 11, 1973.

The gardener who tries to reverse Newton’s theory soon learns that all that goes down doesn’t come up.

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., May 10, 1965.

In planning and cultivating your victory garden, you must be prepared for mud, sweat and jeers.

Daily Herald, Provo, Utah, July 16, 1945.

Gardening: Man’s effort to improve his lot.

—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, Aug. 13, 1956.

Gardener: Suburbanite who thinks what goes down must come up.

Houston Post, Houston, Texas, May 26, 1962.

As you think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, remember that the water bill is bigger, too.

—Earl Wilson, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., Dec. 14, 1966.

It’s the height of optimism when a person plants a vegetable garden and then throws away the can opener.

Morning Advocate, Baton Rouge, La., July 30, 1956.

The garden patch–on the knees of overalls.

—Puck, New York, N.Y., Aug. 21, 1889.

Gardener: A man who sometimes throws in the trowel.

—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, Oct. 2, 1963.

When you plant garden seeds, you are burying your hopes.

The Atlanta Constitution, Atlanta, Ga., Aug. 22, 1934.

Hoping without planning is about as futile as waiting for a harvest without planting.

Idaho Statesman, Boise, Idaho, Nov. 29, 1930.

To enjoy garden work, put on a wide hat and gloves, hold a towel in one hand, and tell the man where to dig.

—A.J. Kelly, Amarillo Daily News, Amarillo, Texas, March 11, 1954.

When it comes to gardening there’s no better labor-saving device than a bad back.

—Patricia Duff McGinley, quoted in Wall Street Journal, New York, N.Y., Aug. 2, 1961.

It’s all right to be bent on garden work if you can straighten up afterward.

—Floyd W. Casebolt, The Ennis Daily News, Ennis, Texas, April 22, 1960.

About the hardest thing to raise in the garden these days is your aching back.

—Theodore L. Cannon, Deseret News, Salt Lake City, Utah, March 28, 1963.

A green thumb is definitely related to a strong back.

—Wesley S. Izzard, Amarillo Daily News, Amarillo, Texas, July 24, 1962.

It takes a green thumb to grow flowers–and a calloused knee to grow vegetables.

—Harold Coffin, San Francisco Examiner, San Francisco, Calif., Aug. 19, 1973.

All of the jobs to do in the yard may be trying these days, but not so much if you are.

Morning Advocate, Baton Rouge, La., July 21, 1956.

The most annoying garden pest is the one who keeps trying to get you to work in it.

—Harold Coffin, Look, Des Moines, Iowa, Aug. 5, 1958.

You never know how many kinds of pests there are till you have a garden or a garden party.

Houston Post, Houston, Texas, Aug. 5, 1960.


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