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Ramblings and Things

Updated on September 4, 2012

Does anybody else in here feel the way I do?

I'm not really sure why I feel the need to write about this. I just do.

Does anyone ever stay awake at night or daydream during the day about the meaning of life? I mean, the REAL purpose? Not only YOUR purpose (as an individual) but the purpose of the entire big picture? I have always been prone to doing so ever since I was little but lately this question has been invading my thoughts more than usual. I can only assume this is because a few months ago my life did a complete 180, and I am still not for sure if this was for the better or worse. Most of the time it just feels like I am life's mistress and I am constantly getting fucked. I'm still not sure what to make of ANY of it.

A while back somehow the topic "the point of life" came up in a discussion some friends and myself were having. It was my turn to answer this enigma, and I had no idea what to say. I just answered with "I don't know. I don't even see a point to it most of the time." It definitely wasn't nearly as creative as some of the other answers just given, but it was honest. Someone jumped in and said, straight to me, "The point is to live. Just live." In my opinion, this was the most depressing answer to that question that anyone could've responded with. However, the answer has stuck with me ever since he said it.

When people are little they believe they will grow up to be these amazing people and lead these amazing lives that almost never come to pass. I know I sure believed this. I always thought my life would have some magical purpose and one day everything would just fall into place. The idea of of the point of life being "just to live" is still depressing for me, because I WANT that purpose, more than anything. Not necessarily fame, power, etc......but I want a purpose. Does that make any sense? Or am I just too glass half empty for my own good?

I guess I am curious as to what you all out there think the purpose of us being here is.

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