The Queen of Egypt - Redneck Tale # 10

This is an age-old story. I will tell it to you in a more modern setting than were some older versions. In fact, I will even put way more words into the telling than it deserves.

Just prior to the day when the old U.S. Route 59 between Houston, Texas, and Texarkana, Arkansas was widened from a rutty two-laner, I drove on that road past the state line for about 10 or so miles into Arkansas. It, being a long, long ride all the way from Houston, I was somewhat startled when I rounded a bend in the road, there to see a very large stone church to my right. It’s sign told me that it was the First Denominational Church of Gobbler’s Knob. On the same side of the highway was a sign that told me that this was indeed the little town of Gobbler’s Knob, Arkansas – "Population 408."

"That’s one big, big church for so small a town," thought I.

Tired and sleepy though I was at that moment, I saw another church to my left, exactly opposite the first church. It was just about the same size and made of look-alike stones, too. What tickled me was that the sign for this second big church said, "Second Denominational Church of Gobbler’s Knob."

"My word! Twin churches! Named pretty much the same, too. And each of them could probably seat 600 or 700 people! I wonder where all the churchgoers live. The sign said that there were only 408 people in this little place."

My tireds won out over driving right then. I stopped for some coffee and breakfast in a little café in the middle of Gobbler’s Knob.

When the waitress gal came to the table to get my breakfast order, I asked her what was going on with those two great big churches in so small a town.

"Mistah, they used to be only one church here, but they split into two of ‘em."

"Why did they do that?"

"On account of what they believes. That’s why they split."

"OK, I’ll bite. What is it that they believe that caused them to do what they did and come out with two giant churches that could each hold more people than live here?"

"Mistah,  you know the stories in the bible?"

"Sort of. I know some of them."

"Does you remember that story about the Queen of Egypt who went on down to the bullrushes and found the baby, Moses, took him home in a basket, and kept him in the palace so’s the ‘Gyptians wouldn’t knock him off?"

"Yeah. I remember that story. What about it?"

"That story is what the First Denominationals believes."

"All right. Tell me what the Second Denominationals believe."

"They believes that's what the Queen say."