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Square Hailstones - Redneck Tale # 36

Updated on March 27, 2016
Mother Nature knows best!
Mother Nature knows best!

All of this writing stuff will get to you

Sometimes it snows in July, and Mother Nature has been known to perform wonders for any of us who care to take a look once in a while. Today, for example, the weather turned. Hail was coming down from the few clouds that were floating in the blue sky above. The size of the hailstones was about like that of a baseball. Pretty heavy stuff it was. As the hailstones crashed through the trees, knocking leaves, branches, and birds helter-skelter, the noise was deafening and the damage to growing stuff was awesome.

Right about that moment I noticed something different about this hail. It was unlike the hail that had come crashing out of blue skies upon Egypt back in the days of Moses. The doggone hailstones were square. Think about that for a bit. Ordinary hailstones crash through trees, knocking leaves, branches, and birds helter-skelter, with deafening noise and awesome damage to all things that simply want to root in the ground and grow tall and hearty. Once they reach the ground, ordinary hailstones bounce around, roll here and there, and more or less dare anyone or anything to catch them as they bounce and roll.

Not these square hailstones. They did not roll. They did not bounce. They built up, forming walls and ramparts. Furthermore, the bright sunlight reflected off of them as though they had sides like mirrors.

I reached for my trusty digital camera so that I might capture the image of this somewhat unusual display of natural diversity. Unfortunately, the batteries had lost their "batt" such that the gadget refused to do its pixel stuff. No images to back up what I am telling you here. Some days a person can lose while winning. Today I was losing while losing. Today was one of those days.

In the meantime, that hot and beaming sun kept pouring heat and light down onto the square hailstones, melting the things as fast as warm Coca-Cola melts ice cubes in your glass. These square hailstones were quite a bit larger than ordinary ice cubes, but, drip by drip, they disappeared before the camera batteries would recharge for me.

This brought on quite a headache from the tension of hoping that a photo could yet be produced. Oh, it hurt a lot. So off to the doc’s clinic I went in search of some relief.

What a day! That turkey of an M.D. listened as I explained my experience of the morning. When I got through describing the square hailstones, he said, "Hmmmph!" and then told me that he was taking me off of all of the meds I was swallowing.

"That’s it for you, Gus. That’s it for you!"


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