- Books, Literature, and Writing
This is for the Birds - Redneck Tale # 6
Danny and Mike
With the greatest respect and admiration for our fellow poetic Hubber, "Paraglider," I will relate to you all this remarkable tale of two adventuresome Irishmen. I have no recollection of the source of the story, but it is an enjoyable (although improbable) excursion into Newton’s Laws of Gravity coupled with some advanced exploration into natural aerodynamics.
Facts are that I bumped into "Paraglider" today in his or her comment on an interesting Hub, and that doing so jogged the memory of this story loose. Unless you want to read wacky stories from loose-fingered Rednecks, it is best to not jog their memories. That comprises the whole of my excuse, so here goes the story:
Danny and Mike were friends who were rarely seen one without the other close by. Most of the time they hung out in Murphy’s Pub and Washateria in downtown Dublin. Often they ventured elsewhere, mostly to get into some sort of trouble with the constables. A little thievery was just that – little. They referred to such jaunts as replenishment trips. Murphy demanded cash from the two of them. He knew what he knew!
Following one of Danny and Mike’s planning sessions at their usual table in Murphy’s Pub and Washateria, they became excited, almost to the point of uncontrollability. Digging down deep into their trouser pockets, they piled up their cash resources onto the table. Counting the money, they smiled. Yes. There was enough there to carry out their plan. It was a serious plan, too. They thought that this would likely bring fame and real fortune to them. After all, they had come up with a way to combine play with scientific showmanship. So, off they set on their journey to fame and fiscal plenty.
The White Cliffs of Dover
The first stop was at the train station. Destination? The coast and the ferry ride from Ireland to England. That was quick of achievement. Now in England, they boarded the motorbus that brought them to Dover, a harbor on the coast and the possessor of those chalk-laden cliffs known as "The White Cliffs of Dover."
While in Dover they purchased items necessary to carrying out their plan. In the pet store, Mike bought a dozen budgerigars and had the proprietor put them all into a box. Danny bought a dozen parrots and had them boxed, too. Next they hied on over to the store that sold sticky tape and purchased four rolls of the stuff, two rolls apiece.
Then, off they went to the top of the tall White Cliffs of Dover.
Arriving there close to sunset, and thus with little time left to complete their work for the day, they carefully opened the boxes of birds.
"This is for the Birds"
Mike took his budgies and sticky taped them under his arms, six to a side. Danny did the same thing with his parrots.
Then Mike jumped off the cliff, landing on the rocks below.
Danny followed Mike, also landing on the rocks at the base of the cliff.
After a short while, the cold salt water splashed each of them awake, for they had both been knocked unconscious from their bouts with all of those rocks.
Mike declared, "So much for budgie jumping!"
Danny vowed, "Yes, Mike, and I will never go parrot gliding ever again!"