Reflections of an Introverted Writer.
One thing about me that many of you are not aware of is that I am an indian living in Jakarta, Indonesia. Who am I kidding? After seeing my name and my location you are probably aware of it. I am a second generation indian. My grandparents from my father's side moved to Indonesia from India during the India-Pakistan clash, they were hindus living in Islamabad, which was at that time a part of India, during the clash, they immigrated to Indonesia. There are quite a few of us Indian immigrants in Indonesia, few enough to get second looks from people around us when we walk by in public. And it is a small community. Which means we know one another. That being said, if you do anything interesting (read:weird), news will spread amongst the community like wildfire and people will know.
How many people in my community knows that I write on hubpages other than me? Only my wife. She gets me, that is why she is my wife. She is my wife because she gets me. It is a vicious cycle that she is living with happily.
Thing is I have so many stories to tell about myself and my upbringing and all that, but once any member of my community knows about my writing and sees that I am writing some personal stuff, that is it. I will be the talk of the town, which I really do not want to be. On the bright side my hub traffic will go through the roof. Although I don't really care much for traffic and earnings at the moment.
An Introvert's Dilemma Of Expression.
For people who are extroverts and have a lot of friends and who has no problem sharing the blues about their lives with one another this might be fine. But in reality I am an introvert and a very reserved type of person. So my way to express myself is through writing, it is a healthy way people say, and I like to write.
What to do when such things happen? Should I just give up doing what I like in fear that people might find out that I write, or should I just write and wait for the storm to come when the people around me know that I write on Hubpages during my free time. The choice seems pretty clear when you write it down like this (writing does help in making decisions!), but living it is a different story.
In hindsight, sometimes I feel that I should not have put my real photo with my real name in Hubpages, perhaps then I would not worry so much about all this, as they would not be able to identify me (if someone knows how to change my username in Hubpages please let me know)
Why do we sometimes have fear in expressing ourselves? Does it have something to do with how we are brought up?
Were we ridiculed for something we did when we were growing up? Something we actually liked but once we did it in front of people they laughed at us and judged us? As I wrote that down I felt a twinge, perhaps that is the reason. But I can't be too sure because I don't know what they judged me for or laughed at me for.
Writing as a form of expression
Writing is a very quiet and solitary way to express one self. There are many ways to express oneself, through music, painting, dancing.
Writing and painting I think stand out from this as a very quiet way of expressing oneself. I guess a person who writes needs to have some degree of introverted-ness, some degree of being reserved. It needs a quiet place so the mind can take a leap to creativity. Which is why starbucks is the last place you need to go when writing, is what I am saying basically.
Actually that is not what I meant to say, somehow it just landed up in that conclusion. Let me try and go to a different direction. It needs a quiet place so the mind can take a leap to creativity. Which is why a writer needs to have some degree of introverted-ness, because only introverts are damn good at finding quiet places where they can write! There, that is a better place to land on!
You need to have some degree of introverted-ness to like the quiet place you are in. Writing is a very quiet process, for me especially. I cannot write with the tv on and with my baby crying and trying to grab the iPad I am writing on. It is impossible. You need to have some degree of introverted-ness and some degree of introspective to be able to write.
There is nothing to writing. All you need to do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.
— Ernest HemingwayAn Introvert's Lemonade Stand
The best way is to let go of any fear of the outcome your art may bring. If it brings applause great, it if brings controversy in your society and make you the talk of the town extra great. Since writing a is solitary form of art, meaning you need to do it the same way you do number two-in privacy with your own thoughts.
The art has no place for fear but it is a damn fine place for introverts. Sometimes when life gives your lemons you make lemonade and many people have been able to use their fear as advantage to make their masterpieces.
One example of an Introvert that I really admire is Emma Watson. The young actress who gained fame for the role she played as Hermoine Granger in the Harry Potter film franchise. Sure there are many introverts I can cite who are living in the public spotlight such as Bill Gates and Warren Buffet and even the author of Harry Potter herself, J.K. Rowling. These are some of the most famous introverts.
Why I admire Emma Watson is due to her age. Not many introverts her age can carry the limelight as gracefully as she does. Her speech in the UN was bold, it is an absolute proof of how brave she is in expressing herself, that even though being an introvert she could still make a public speech in such an important public venue amongst delegates and public figures.
I guess Emma Watson would be my role model for now. Sure she is not a writer but she is a very public figure, and as an introvert, she is the biggest heroine there is for us.
On a scale of 1 to 5, How much of an introverted writer are you? 1 being the least and 5 being the most.
Comments
The title caught my attention. Intovert...yes...I also belong to the same breed!
Going through the roller coaster ride of your thought process in this article, was really a Delight...I enjoyed it a lot.
Well put :)
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Jodah, lucky you, I sometimes wish I had a few acres between me and the person next to me. haha. I try to avoid people in real life and I am generally a very quiet person. Yes it is much harder to be an introvert in a place like jakarta. Forget a few acres, I would be lucky if I can get a few meters between me and the next person. What makes it extra hard for me, I work as a salesman. So you can imagine how everyday, I have to fight and have the courage to reach out and talk. Being a salesman has helped me a lot in dealing with this issue.
Jonas Rodrigo, I wish I had the wisdom you had to using a pseodonym for writing on hubpages. Alas, it does not seem that I can change my username, So I should prepare myself for the day one of the people in my community find out about my page. Might as well be ready come what may.
Nadine May, Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I too love my own company the most, there was a time when I used to complain that I am so alone, everyone is out there socializing and what not. But then as time went by I have come to accept the fact that I am what I am. I am alone because I want to be, might as well make peace with it and accept it. Guess what happened when I made peace with it? Found the love my of life, got married and had a baby! LOL!
What a lovely post. I have to force myself to be sociable because I love my own company. That came with age because I'm more of a hermit, but not necessarily an introvert. I like to share what Ive learned from life, but then I feel that Ive done my contribution. I do like to interact with other writers and encourage them about their work. Indeed writing like painting and many creative activities are solitary activities.
I know exactly what you feel! To be honest, "Jonas Rodrigo" is just a pseudonym because I don't want people I know in real life to read my writings. The thought of it just scares me.
Hi Suraj, thank you for sharing this personal part of your life with us. I am also an introvert and it took me a long time before I would share my personal story on Hub Pages, but once I did people were very accepting and hubs about my real life situation seem to be the most popular. Like Bill I often have to force myself to be social although it is getting easier these days. I do often lose myself in my writing and reveal my thoughts and feelings better that way. I feel for you in your concern of what your friends and community think about your sharing your personal life on Hub Pages. My wife and children are the only ones who know I do but I couldn't care less who else knows. It would be much harder for you to be an introvert in a heavily populated and small place like Jakata whereas I live in a small rural community on a 40 acre property in Australia and don't even have to see another person other than my wife for a week at a time. I found this hub interesting. Thank you for sharing. Voted up.
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billybuc, thank you for the kind words. I have learned so much about you and your life from your hubs. It would be unfair if I didn't show a glimpse of my own life. Are you sure you are an introvert? Your crazy ride on a porsche with your friend in your younger days seem to prove otherwise. :)
Buildreps thank you! contrary to popular belief there actually are extrovert writers. Hunter S Thompson author of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was one hell of an extrovert. I have no idea how he managed to sit down and write a book (a huge bestseller at that!) with the life he lived in the centre of the swingin' drug infused 60s. By all means please share it! But not to my direct family, they might think I have psychological issues. Lol!
This is a really brilliant article. Well written and very clever wordings, worthy to get viral. The you might have to adjust your picture somewhat more to the right (depends on the POV) Just joking:)
I guess every good writer is an introvert. I can hardly imagine for a writer to be an extrovert. That must be something terrible!
Do you mind I share this article?
I get it. I've always been an introvert. I have to force myself to be sociable at times. I loved learning a little about you, and I loved the vicious cycle line about your wife. Brilliant!
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