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Returning to Regular
I raised my voice in an effort to achieve silence. It wasn’t about the debt, not as much as it was, at least.
Emotions bubbled like boiling magma, pushing outward with viscous force until they finally burst, only to form the basis for the next muffled explosion. A figure resembling an acquaintance that resembled a friend shoveled fuel into the fire from some hidden, seemingly ceaseless source. I envisioned him as some maniacal sorcerer, brewing hatred with a wicked smile across his face. In reality, he was as collected as usual, not that that really says much. Words spewed from his tongue viciously, leaving steaming depressions where their weighted impact struck my being.
Nothing, I said. This new personality of yours leaves a foul taste in my mouth, something that just isn’t worth trying again. The bombardment of unnecessary, venom-laden words continued, eventually numbing my ears to their ceaseless, echoing rhythms. The thoughts in my mind whittled down to a dull, monotone buzz.
I walked away quietly, externally calm, to some undesirable destination. I moved in a general backwards direction, my dragging feet scuffing his name off the list of things that are a part of my life.
In a few days time, maybe less, these feelings faded, the space replaced with absence, kept in place with an electric fence, successfully numbing everything human.
Fingers strum, sticks drum, voices hum the glum rhythm of returning to a place now entirely different. Go back to the normal routine, formal at my regular scene. Turn on the radio, put on a musical talk show, listening backwards in one ear and stored indefinitely, until time to understand never comes.