I started publishing my work online with another blogging tool and while I like it, I don't want to put all my eggs in one basket. I posted this there a few months ago. Most of what follows is posted there.
I'm still self-concious about posting my work in public. I like to pretend it's because I'm not ready to reveal this awesome material just yet, but in truth; my writing is my art. Like all art, it is very personal. In a way, art is a window to your soul. If your crazy mind came up with a story like this, what does that say about you? For me, sharing something that personal has always been tough. I want it to be perfect because I like knowing my best is showing. Putting myself out there, vulnerable and flawed scares me. Today, thinking about what I was going to post and wanting to post some of my story ideas, I realized that the fear of rejection is something I am not over. I don't want to post something so personal, something I am so attached to, and risk people being critical. Silly? Maybe. But there you have it.
This was a dream I had and as such it is meant to be experienced, not read. Please, take your time.
I must do it now. Now is the time. If not now, I may not ever.
Left…I am tired of this pain.
Left… I am tired of not acting.
Right…I have to end it.
Left… the cliff is getting closer…
Right… I close my eyes…
Left… how much farther..?
Right… I open my eyes…
I jump. My legs pushing as hard as they can, flinging me, with no hesitation, as far as I can go. I stretch out my arms and close my eyes.
The wind… the world… rushing past me.
I feel myself being left behind. I am finally free. No more holding back. No more fear. No more tense worry to keep me where I was, to keep me from going home.
I am going home.
I feel the water, far below, reaching up to greet me, its cold hard embrace ready for me to greet it.
I close my eyes and focus my thoughts. I think about the wind rushing past my face, through my hair.
I think about my freedom.
I think about my direction changing, I feel myself moving forward. I see the water coming closer, I see it start to slow and move behind me. I move not just down but forward. Faster forward and slower down until at last I am moving over the water and not toward it any more. I reach one hand down and touch the water. It is cold and soft. I taste the salty ocean water on my finger tips and laugh.
I open my eyes.
I climb. I climb back into the sky and loop back to the top of the cliff from which I just jumped. Landing softly at the top of the cliff I smile.
I did it.
I will fly home.
This is a dream
This is a dream I had when I was ten years old. It jumped back into my head and I realized it was time to write it. Time is precious and should always be treated as such. Thank you for your time.