- Books, Literature, and Writing
SHOPPING ANYONE? by b. Malin
WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT...
I am going to admit it Right Up Front...I Hate Food Shopping! No, I'm not one of those who hates Food... and the thought of "Throwing Up" under "Normal" conditions is scary for me...So No, I don't have THAT Kind of a Food Problem. I just have a problem of going Up and Down the food aisles in search of Food. If it could Magically appear in my house, I'd have no problem unpacking it, and putting it away.
When we were in Florida, with One Car, Lover Man and I shared the chore, and it actually became Fun. Now Back in NJ, we've kinda kept it up, that is going together. We usually do it on a Friday, before the "Crazed" Summer Weekenders arrive at the shore. You really want to give them plenty of SPACE...They are dazed and tired, and playing "Beat the Clock" for the Rays of the Beach, come Saturday morning...And who can blame them.
Ok, so there we were on a Friday, shopping at Pathmark, a store that I remember as a kid, growing up in Westchester, which boasted that it was open 24 hrs. a day! When you are a kid, that sounds unbelievable! When you are an Adult, you are Grateful, because it gives you more time to fit everything in to your busy schedule...and our schedule consists of Lover Man taking care of the Deli things, while I do the other stuff. We usually meet up again at the COLD Milk and Juice aisle...which we hurry through...And I always think, I shouldn't have worn that Tank top or that T-shirt...Oh well.
Choosing a "Line" is always a challenge...I refuse to Check myself out, I just won't do it. I can't stand the "Animated Voice" that Commands you do this or that, and you know it's just waiting for you to Slip Up, so it can tell you what a JERK you are! Of course in that Animated Polite Manner... Wake UP Shoppers, THEY should be paying US to check out and Bag our own Groceries. Well actually, I do like to bag my own. You know, put the Cold stuff with the Cold stuff and the cans and boxes together. Anything that makes it easier to put away once you are back home.
So on this day, the "Shortest" line is with a "Check out Clerk". Hooray, I think, she looks like she knows what she is doing...My Eggs won't wind up underneath Something Heavy! Now we are second in line from the guy she is waiting on. She's having a Wonderful time with him, Laughing and Smiling... and now as she bags his last bag, she offers him $5.00 off his total because he has spent over $40.00. She tells him, as she swipes the Store's printed coupon through. "You can take me to dinner" she smiles sweetly at him. She's a full figured woman. He seems to take notice of that..."Mmm, he replies, you never know". "Oh I know" she smiles back. He winks, and then he is gone. Now it's OUR turn. I Gently push Lover Man in front of me...I want that free Coupon too.