Sands Novel (Part One)
A work in progress....
I remember the doctors and nurses trying to save me, and through the light, I made it. Through the haze, I felt the warmth, and instinctively, I knew the transition from dying to heaven held a place I yearned most to be. And, what I left behind was now cold....
Somewhere between earth and space, and always through the light, the sensation of a secret sacred place exists--Heaven. It's not a blinding, bright light like everyone believes instead it's a soft clandestine glow welcoming you to follow it through.
As my family walked away from the graveyard with heavy hearts, I left my life with them behind. I felt they would be alright as they consoled each other -- my passing brought them together and closer they seem. Certainly, some will have a harder time dealing with my death, but I will check in on them from time to time. For now, I must go where I am needed, where the light is warm and beckoning, I am coming home as the circle of life has led me. Somewhere between earth and space--I am home!
I feel the warm sand between my toes as I walk, and, I feel the cool mist from the ocean spray on my face. All my senses are keen and I smell the sea, and then right away I visualize my lifelong dream--brought to reality. Right then and there before my eyes, and for what seemed to be miles upon miles a beach does not seem to end. The waves from the crystal blue ocean calm as I walk beside them giving me a sense of welcoming my presence. A seagull landed on the sand only inches from me and acted as if he was an old time friend along for a stroll. I stopped walking, but I crouched down. The seagull came to me and nuzzled my leg. Looking to my hand he and I both discovered I held bread. The bread had magically appeared as if I had it in my hand all along. He let me pet him while gobbling down the bread which he grabbed when i offered it to him. When done, he nuzzled my leg one last time before flying away. I began walking again noting how warm and wonderful the sand felt under my feet. I was wearing beige Capri pants and a bikini top. On my head I wore a large straw hat, and when I reached up to feel the top I felt hard plastic which easily lifted off-- large brown sunglasses added the finishing touch to my ensemble. To my discovery I was wearing all my favourite things--most comfortable yet sassy enough to be me. If my personality could radiate through my clothes--this was it!
A light breeze coming off the water diverted my attention back to my surroundings. All colors, like the blue of the ocean were hypnotizing. Each and every shade I focused my attention to put me in a state of awe for their magical brilliancy created such a depth of wonder The lightest shades meshed together with the darkest as in a continuous flow of designing upon look. I hadn't realized i had stopped walking, but there I stood mesmerized/meditating in the splashing hues of blue. I loved this feeling and state I was in, longing for more, but as the breeze shifted so did my gaze. My head turned and before my eyes a staircase leading from the beach came into focus. A feeling of longing hit me like a ton of bricks...
The staircase leading off the beach and up towards a two story wooden but rustic cottage compelled me to walk towards it. I could see a veranda and deck encircled the entire cottage. Also, off to one side I could see a large hammock hanging and a bistro set which held a glass pitcher of what appeared to be homemade lemonade with fresh lemon slices and ice cubes. While walking towards the stairs I could smell wild roses and then suddenly tons of them appeared cascading over the railing all alongside the stairs and veranda. Flower gardens of a wild nature sprang to life surrounding the cottage, and immediately, I knew without a doubt that this haven was mine.
Alluring in all its charm my new home was better than any of the ones I had held in my imagination. As I entered the cottage i did not think its inside could be more captivating than its exterior and surroundings, but I was wrong. After walking through the French garden doors my eyes adjusted and I couldn't believe what they saw...a wall adorned with a virtual world of pictures and frames and flat screened portraits. Walking towards it a familiarity swept through my being. and my son's and twin daughters' faces were smiling at me. I zeroed in on one picture and the images began to move. My son was sitting on his sister's lap and she was hugging him. Their other sister had been standing behind them but she moved around to the front of them and crouched down in front of my son to talk to him. Sweetly Megan said, "Mack honey, everything is going to be alright. Mommy is with God now and life with God is pain free. He needs her in heaven right now. Remember she will love you forever!" Mack smiled through his tears and then my three children embraced.
I felt a warm hand rest on my shoulder as the tears slid down my face. A soothing voice spoke, "Maggie, your beautiful children will remember you always and you can always see them by looking to these pictures. Later, we will discuss how you can still be there for them, but right now, as I wanted they are there for each other."
I did not have to ask "THE VOICE" if he was God, and I never felt more safe than I did at that moment. l I felt a trusting relationship between us like one I had never experienced in my life on earth. Trust was always an issue in that life I left behind, and now I was engulfed within the arms and presence of my saviour, the spirit of God. His voice and warmth radiated through me and all inhibitions of the past were no longer existent. I was walking, talking, and breathing relief. No pressures, no feelings of expectations, no pretences, only a feeling of being. An overall life of being without trepidation but a continued expression of living in the 'finally.' Finally I made it, I finally get it -- Finally, I am who I am, finally!
