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So I've been thinking about a great deal of things over this year. One thing that has come to mind is the intensity of the friendships I have. Some of my friends share the most intimate details with me that I am able to keep to myself (Thank goodness). It's funny because I think of keeping secrets as being easy, but there are some who just can't keep their vault closed (You know who you are). So I decided to write this short little peace about keeping secrets.
Bear with me as this is just an opinion piece to have a bit of fun with. I am up for other suggestions and feedback to accompany this. I'm sure you'll be entertained by what I have to say. Take a look...
How Do I Know I Can Keep A Secret?
Well if you don't know if you can keep a secret, think about a few things beforehand. Below is a list of things you should analyze before you let anyone tell you a secret. Sometimes you might have to abstain from hearing it, no matter how enticed you are ;)
- Do You Have A Tell?- It's that look on your face that you're obviously keeping a secret.
- Do You Twitch Uncontrollably?- Sometimes when you twitch, you look like you're trying to escape from a bear trap. That's a clear indicator that you don't have the nerves to keep a secret.
- Are You Reliable?- When you set a date with a friend, do you always keep it? Are you punctual? Do you pay your bills on time? If you're a reliable person, you're more likely to keep a secret. If not, then you're probably going to tell the first person you meet.
- Do You Like Gossip?- Well if you like gossip, chances are you'll spill the beans to keep things interesting. This can happen especially when you feel like you're not providing enough sugar for the coffee. You'll probably keep the gossip going to maintain your own "appeal".
- When Someone Says "Can You A Keep A Secret" and there's a long pause... that means "no" so don't even attempt to hear that secret! Don't lie to yourself. If you haven't got the balls to keep a secret, just amscray.
Okay, I Can Keep A Secret... I'm Pretty Sure
Well if your best friends comes to you with a major secret and it seems really important, remind yourself that all secrets are precious. These are not just the big ones, but the small ones matter too. If you can keep a secret, then your friend will sense this and probably tell you. Though some people are told secrets even though their friends know they can't keep one. If you know you can't keep a secret, don't pretend to be all smooth. Lol... don't look all serious and then start twitching once your friend walks away. You'll probably look a little crazy. If you're 100% sure you're keeping secrets for friends, commit to it. I promise your friendships will get even better! Here are some tips to help ease the passing of a secret.
- Don't talk super loud- People eavesdrop all the time. Keep it all on the D.L. lol. Don't be that friend who says "Seriously!" or "OMGosh!" or "I can't believe it!". Obviously you're a bit of a dufus... calm down! lol
- Don't make a face- People can read your expressions better than you think! If you make a surprised look, people can tell. Don't be like all those pictures of the person hearing the secret and making this surprised face. That's a No-No!
- Don't talk at work or close to other people- It's just bad form. Don't let your friend tell you in the presence of others or within earshot. It'll definitely be heard and spread immediately. Immediately head towards a quiet corner.
- Don't make your friend regret telling you- Be mindful of them in ever way. Sometimes the secret is embarrassing or a bit tawdry. Don't judge or appear judgmental, just listen and nod. Remind them that their secret is safe with you.
Telling A Secret
Now that you know how to keep a secret, think of your friend that you've been loyal to. If you have a secret to tell someone, choose the right person. By this I mean choice your most reliable friend who would never tell your business. Also choose the person who has the least to gain from hearing your secret. Don't tell someone who could take advantage of this. Think of a friend like this and sit them down. Here are some points to revealing your secrets.
- Don't ever ask "can you keep a secret"?- Umm... if they couldn't you wouldn't tell them and plus they might get a little offended. They'd say "You know I can!"
- Don't ever slip the secret at a strange time- Don't tell your friend in the midst of things. Don't tell them while their in the restroom, on the phone, at work. Sometimes people will drop what their doing at that time or get distracted. Make sure your friend is all ears. Sometimes you might have to repeat yourself, which is dangerous. If you were a spy, you'd have ONE chance, so make it count!
- Be mindful of the impact- If you're telling a major thing, don't say it so fast, slow down, let it all sink in. Sometimes your friend might have an unexpected reaction. Address their reaction as best as you can and then continue divulging information. Don't confuse your friend or overwhelm them.
- Always acknowledge that it's a "secret" and between "you and me"- That's a given, but if you give your friend the inkling that you've told other people the same secret, it won't end well. If it's a super great friend, you won't have to emphasize this. Sometimes there are those friends who will tell, not realizing "oh I wasn't supposed to tell anyone?"
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The main thing is, don't tell a secret to someone who can't keep it. If you can't keep a secret, don't even listen. Your friendships matter in the long run and it's important to hold on those friendships from now until you're old and gray. There are some friends out there I know who will NEVER tell my business to anyone else and I would NEVER tell their business. It's one of the greatest things about friendship, so you have to hold on to that right? The main goal of this article was to use a small thing like keeping secrets, a reiterate the importance of a friend.
Sometimes you just have to tell someone something about yourself. It might be delicate information or so minute it wouldn't matter, but the feeling of trusting someone with that information is awesome! It feels amazing when you can tell someone ANYTHING and they will honor your wishes and keep it to themselves. Do yourself a favor, KEEP secrets for your friends and expect the same. Though there are still some out there who have that twitch. You know who you are. ;)