Sentences under Construction

Do you think these sentences throw a curve?

Tell me a Paraprosdokians.

Para - what? Can you repeat it? What’s the word again? Okay, just spell it. Did I missed this on high school or am I just absent when we had this lesson?

Paraprosdokians has been around since the 20^th century. And today, it's been flying everywhere!

So what is this cannot-be-pronounced, cannot-be-spelled Paraprosdokians anyway? It's a figure of speech in which the first part of a phrase seems normal and the second part is surprisingly unexpected. This is frequently used for humorous effect by comedians because of its double meaning.

Here are the following Paraprosokians which you might enjoy, but use with caution dear readers!

Have a weird laugh!

• Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
• Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
• “You have three days to finish this project”... ”Well, I’ll take Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas.”
• I’d love to agree with you. But then again, then we’d both be wrong.
• Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
• The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
• Where there's a will, there are relatives.
• I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" written on it...so I said "Implants?"
• If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
• Why finish your work today, if you can do it tomorrow?
• War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
• Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
• If you tried your best and failed miserably, the lesson is, never try.
• I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
• Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
• We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
• I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
• A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
• I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
• Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
• I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
• You're never too old to learn something stupid.
• To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
• Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

• My friend said only onions can make you cry. So I threw a coconut on his face.
• When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
• The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
• Trying is the first step...towards failure.
• My neighbor banged on my door at 2:30am this morning. Can you believe that: 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
• I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid. Then I was petrified.
• Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.
• Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.
• I like to follow my dreams; it keeps me in bed till almost noon.
• The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back just in case.
• Statistically, six out of seven dwarves are not happy.
• I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance. So I pushed her over.
• Enjoy an inexpensive stay in this beautiful hotel – while it is still part of the continental land mass.
• Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
• Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
• Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
• I seem to always miss my husband. But my aim is improving.
• There are two words in a person’s life which will open a lot of doors for them... PUSH and PULL.
• Laughter is the best medicine… since you don’t have health insurance.
• A Friend In Need is usually something you don’t need.
• You should be on Mt. Rushmore… who else has so many stones in their head?

• "I'm only human nature."
• "First and for all.”
• "All of a suddenly..."
• "That's what I'm talking about it!"
• "Thanks and advanced!"
• "Forget it about it! What are friends are for?"
• "It's as brand as new!"
• "Keep that bear in mind."
• "When it rains, it's four."
• "Every cloud has a silver lightning."
• "Grab the bull by the balls!"
• "Don’t just do something! Stand there!"
• "My answers have been prayered!"
• "You're barking at the wrong dog."
• "That's the way the cookie jars."
• "Let’s give them a big hand of applause!"
• "Well well well, look do we have here."
• "Hi I'm Bhoy. What’s yours?"
• "The sky is the langit."
• "Hello? For a while...please hang yourself...My boss is out of town. Would you like to wait?"
• "And where do you think you are off to running to?"
• "Why won't you cut me some slacks?"
• "How dare you are!"
• "What’s your next class before this?"
• "The idea crossed at the back of my mind."
• "Are you joking my leg?"
• "It's a blessing in the sky."
• "I always go there sometimes."