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Shed man

Updated on April 16, 2015

Crazy guy

we've all come across a genuinely nice man who's a bit daft in our lives.this poem is written as a tribute to him,he knows of the poem and he really enjoyed it.

Shed man

I once knew a guy,who lived in a shed
Piles of cardboard,he used as a bed .
He wasn't the sharpest ,tool in the box
He never shut up,constantly talks.
Harmless,but dangerous mostly to himself
If danger was about,he's tackle it himself.
Couldn't count by the length of his nose
Brave as a warrior,as far as it goes.
I spoke for hours,he never made sense
I wondered how he survived,his life was so tense.
People would take advantage of his kind, subtle nature
He was innocent as it comes,a loveable creature.
I often wondered how he'd get by
Life treated him bad,I would often sigh.
He was persecuted by everyone,I never knew why.
So etiquette on quite times,I would see him cry.
Lonely and lost,a shameful soul
Not much of a life,never had a goal
You try to help,as much as you can
He's just like me,a fully grown man
Only so much you can do,give him some aid
He needs to help himself, decisions need to be made.
Or he'll be forever be the butt of the joke
He needs to wake up,life isn't a joke.

Nice to have.

I'd like one,too costly.

I haven't got a garden shed as such.i have an old ,falling to bits concrete garage.it doesn't keep out the rain,it loses parts when there's a strong wind.theres a job when summer comes in,to overhaul the garage and get it back up to a decent standard. It is in desperate need of attention,unfortunately in Scotland the weather isn't condusive to outdoor work.we need to wait till summer before starting one of the outside jobs.if I tried it just now,I'd be blown of the roof.its not worth it getting injured.

Practical and cool.

Security.

Where I stay is a bit rough,you need to chain or padlock everything of value or it will walk.i have a heavy duty padlock on my garage,if I got a garden shed I would need to take similar precautions with regards to securing my goods. There's no room for mistakes with securing your property. I can't recommend padlocks big enough for the jobs I need securing. The bigger the padlock,the better. Gives you a fighting chance when a thief tries his luck.

Pricey.

The biggest obstacle for me buying a shed is the price. They are so costly now ,there's very little I could afford. A basic shed in Scotland is over £200. That's a very small sized one. Not even four feet wide by four feet length,not big enough for what I need. I think I'd be better buying a hundred pounds worth of wood and building a shed myself,that might be a more practical and cost effective solution. At any rate I need to save for such a purchase,the way things are two hundred or one hundred pounds worth of wood is out with my budget at the moment.

Favourite one.

Lottery win.

If I had a lottery win,i dreamt of building a proper man shed.id have a pool table, a bar and a snack bar. Also a couple of comfortable sofas for friends.then I could literally escape from the pressures of home life for a break in the man shed. All of the man shed would be tiled or carpeted to the highest standard. All this is dependant on a big lottery win,I have a one in a million chance of scooping the big prize. The luck I have the man shed is sadly a long way off.

Good mates.

Good mates are essential for big diy projects,I have a couple of reliable friends who have helped in the past with biggish jobs. Ive made myself available for jobs in return.the jobs we have done over the years have been very varied. We have built drive ways,built patios,concreted various projects,built small fish ponds. All of these jobs done without proper training ,not bad on the CV for a couple of handymen. We might not be the best for the job,but we are very competitive. All I asked in return from my friends was to keep the coffee regular.dont even charge each other money. All jobs done based on future favours.

Impossible alone.

Without friends most jobs I did would be impossible. They all required heavy lifting and back breaking work. Most jobs required two or three men lifting teams,that's why it's so crucial to have good mates willing to help. If I put a price on the jobs we have done over the years,it would go in to the thousands of pounds. I specialise i painting and decorating,my other friends don't. I can pretty much turn my hand to anything,which is not a bad trait to have.

D.i.y

What's the easier to build?

See results

Originality.

Most people starting or about to start their garden just want it to be unique and interesting. It must be original,and within your budget. It also has to be practical,easy to maintain,and cost effective. I find that my garden roughly costs around £300 to make it look decent,that includes plants,borders,woodwork if needed,I try to lay bricks and foundations that I know will last the test of time. To save money a good few years ago now ,I went looking for wood to reclaim.i went in to an industrial estate,I found three solid pallets. I stripped the wood from each of them,I proceeded to take the wood home. My friends and I built a fantastic fence that lasted over ten years!all it required was a coat of wood stain every few years to help it stay protected from the elements.Minimal cost,lasted years. I like to search for reclaimed goods as I find they tend to be very cheap,or even better free of charge. We all need to find bargains in today's climate,everything is so expensive,so when I see a bargain,I jump at it.

Who to trust?

What's the best way forward?

See results

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