ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Short Fiction: "Confession"

Updated on August 21, 2014
M. T. Dremer profile image

M. T. Dremer is the author of four novels and received a Bachelor's Degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University.

This picture will make sense after reading the play.
This picture will make sense after reading the play.

I originally wrote this short play for a college drama course, but it is being published for the first time here on HubPages as part of the HubPatron of the Arts contest. Essentially it boils down to a man confessing his sins to a priest, and beyond that I will only say that it is a humor piece. It has been formatted slightly different from the traditional screenplay/script in the interest of readability. I hope you enjoy it.

Confession

SETTING A church confessional booth. The booth sits center stage and is divided in two with a screened window in between. The sides that remain open face the audience.

CHARACTERS MAN, middle aged male wearing a nice business coat. His hair is neatly combed and his face recently shaved. PRIEST, elderly male wearing traditional black priest clothes with the white collar. He has glasses and grey hair. WOMAN, thirty something woman in a heavy red sweater and jeans.

When lights rise, PRIEST is sitting quietly in his booth. MAN enters from stage right and gets inside the other booth.

MAN Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been three years since my last confession.

PRIEST Tell me your sins, Child.

MAN You see, Father, it’s my wife. I haven’t been faithful to her.

PRIEST Thou shalt not commit adultery. How long has this been going on?

MAN Just today. I was at work, replacing the toner in the printer and I bumped into my co-worker.

PRIEST (After a pause.) You touched her inappropriately?

MAN Yes, my elbow hit her elbow. I felt so dirty afterwards.

PRIEST (Chuckling.) My dear boy, bumping into someone else can hardly be considered adultery.

MAN Really?

PRIEST Were there any further interactions between you and this co-worker after the incident?

MAN I said I was sorry, and she said she was sorry… It was really awkward.

PRIEST Did you have any impure feelings towards this woman?

MAN (Shaking his head.) No… well, maybe a little. You see… we touched bare elbows. I could feel her skin. My wife will kill me. All I could think of afterwards was her bare elbow. Father, I didn’t mean to!

PRIEST An elbow is a very neutral body part, I do not believe you’ve…

MAN Is it? It didn’t stop there, father. I started picturing her elbow in strange situations. I saw her elbow on tables, arm rests and car doors.

PRIEST All very harmless, as I see it.

MAN Then I started picturing her elbow dipped in butter and ice cream and cole slaw.

PRIEST Cole slaw?

MAN Yeah, cole slaw. Isn’t that twisted?

PRIEST I… well… technically… were these thoughts sexual in nature?

MAN Yes, I’m sorry father. I pictured both of our elbows together, mine rubbing against hers. I pictured our elbows naked together on a beach.

PRIEST (Scratching his head.) Just your elbows?

MAN Yes, I feel terrible.

PRIEST I mean, were they attached to your bodies or were they just sort of… floating in your imagination?

MAN I don’t know. It’s hard to tell. Even now I can’t close my eyes without seeing her elbow and that one freckle that torments me.

PRIEST Do you picture your wife’s elbow in this fashion?

MAN No, that’s why it’s so horrible. I would never think of my wife’s elbow like this. She wouldn’t go for something like that.

PRIEST Wouldn’t go for elbows?

MAN Her elbow is far too delicate and pure to be pictured in butter.

PRIEST Uh…

MAN Please, help me father, I don’t know what to do. I’m starting to picture her elbow covered in mud and baking soda.

PRIEST I’m not really sure…

MAN Get out of my head, temptress elbow!

PRIEST Please, calm down, my son. I will help you absolve yourself of guilt.

MAN Really?

PRIEST First, I want you to say ten Hail Mary’s.

MAN Did Mary have nice elbows?

PRIEST Focus, my son. Next I want you to go home to your wife and tell her that you love her.

MAN Okay.

PRIEST And when you feel yourself starting to picture this other woman’s elbows, I want you to instead think of your wife’s elbows, and remember that Jesus still loves you.

MAN What do I do if I see my co-worker again?

PRIEST I want you to focus on something else. Think about a time where you were truly proud of yourself, and use that to focus your mind.

MAN What if it doesn’t work?

PRIEST It’s all a matter of re-directing yourself. Remember the things in life that mean something to you, and know that they are more important than her elbows.

MAN You’re right, father. Thank you.

PRIEST You are forgiven my son.

MAN I won’t think about her elbows anymore.

PRIEST Very good.

MAN And when I see her, I won’t look at her elbows. I’ll focus on something else. I’ll distract myself.

PRIEST Yes, you understand.

MAN Thank you, Father. I feel better.

Man exits the confession booth and starts to leave stage right. As he is leaving WOMAN walks past him and accidentally bumps him with her shoulder.

WOMAN I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there.

MAN No, no. It was my fault. I’m sorry.

WOMAN exits stage left and MAN stands still for a long moment, looking after her with a glassy look. He suddenly snaps out of it and hangs his head in shame. He heads back to the confessional booth.

FADE TO BLACK

Eternity's Reach (The Sword of Eternity) (Volume 1)
Eternity's Reach (The Sword of Eternity) (Volume 1)

If you're interested in reading more of my fiction, you can find my first novel here.

 

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • M. T. Dremer profile imageAUTHOR

      M. T. Dremer 

      6 years ago from United States

      Immartin - Thanks for the compliment and the comment!

    • lmmartin profile image

      lmmartin 

      6 years ago from Alberta and Florida

      I love a good chuckle! Thanks. Lynda

    • M. T. Dremer profile imageAUTHOR

      M. T. Dremer 

      7 years ago from United States

      Borsia - Thank you for the compliment!

    • Borsia profile image

      Borsia 

      7 years ago from Currently, Philippines

      Very amusing good job

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)