ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Short Story: The Contestant, Part 2 - Somebody's Niece

Updated on October 6, 2011


I've been experimenting with perspective lately, and the the following is the second in a series of three short stories. I've written one story, but from three different perspectives (first person, second person, third person). Although I do say one story, each one is different-- it all comes down to perspective!

Part 1, which takes place in third person, can be found here. Parts 2 and 3 make more sense if you read it first.

This version is in first person, from the POV of the niece. Unfortunately, and as anyone who read the first installment will know, the niece has a bit of a potty mouth. I've cleaned it up a bit, and did check the User Guidelines on language, which wasn't too specific (basically don't overdo it). I've decided to publish with just the minor edits, but if anyone thinks its too much or just inappropriate for the site, please let me know and I will make further adjustments. I definitely don't want to offend anyone! I have to admit I got a bit attached to the potty-mouthed little trollop and didn't want to censor her too much...


Somebody's Niece

Holy mother of shitballs, I can’t believe I’m sitting in this awful apartment with Uncle Artie’s crazy-ass girlfriend filling out an application for a g.d. temp agency. If girlfriend is the right word for the old buzzard, I mean her hair’s turning gray and she doesn’t even think to dye it, and her behind is practically as wide as the stupid t.v. she’s had blaring on all morning. She probably keeps her teeth in a pickle jar next to the bed. This was not how things were supposed to turn out, and they wouldn’t have if Freddie had just left Crazy Broad and Snot Face. Or just hadn’t let Crazy Broad find out where I lived. Plus these stupid Benson and Hedges taste like sucking toothpaste out of a piece of notebook paper.

Still, I guess I’d rather be here than with my mom, who’s more of a witch than Crazy Broad, if that’s possible. I always liked Uncle Artie, in the summer he used to take me out to the woods and we’d fish and look at trees and stuff. Except that Uncle Artie’s at work now, and I’m locked into this house with Sonja Whatever, who I pretty much always avoided since Uncle Artie met her like five years ago. Pretty easy ‘cause she doesn’t talk much. Except today, blah blah blah, do you want soda, tea, coffee, eggs, bacon, Thanksgiving dinner, do you want to talk about what happened, do you want to call me Aunt Sonja, do you want me to stab you in the eardrums? Jeezus, my head is killing me, and I’m not sure exactly how long I can stand to stay in this tiny-ass apartment that stinks like cat litter, and why isn’t Freddie calling, unless maybe he’s in jail or something, and no I don’t want any frickin eggs.

I finish my stupid application and ask Sonja politely for another of her cruddy cigarettes but she doesn’t answer, she’s too busy picking fleas out of the cat’s fur like a freaking monkey to answer me, so I just go over and take one. I’m not supposed to leave, but I guess I could, except that it’s freezing cold outside, and Uncle Artie’s house is way out in Blahville, so I’d have nowhere to go anyway, and I can’t call any of my friends from school cause I’m not supposed to go back to campus or I’ll get arrested. Fuckety fuckety frick. I light the cigarette and since I’m not really sure what I’m gonna do I wander around a little bit smoking it and playing with the lighter. Frick.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)