ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Commercial & Creative Writing»
  • Creative Writing»
  • Humor Writing

Awesome Snowman Sculpture- Thinker on His Bidet

Updated on March 27, 2012

Disclaimer** If you are even a teensy weensy bit offended by a slightly suggestive snowman (really he's not that bad!) please move away now.

With that out of the way, I present to you a parody of 'The Thinker' only in a slightly different environment. This monumental sculpting was done between the hours of 1:30am and 5:30am on Christmas morning, and thoroughly demonstrates the sculptors fine, albeit slightly childish, sense of humour and undoubted talent in the art of snowmen.

The 'art' notes are carried below for your appreciation and general snobbery. From the bottom of our hearts, we are pleased to present "Thinker on His Bidet" - a modern artform.

Notes D'Art

Locally known as "man on shitter" this epic unknown masterpiece combines the subtle notes of terminator with modern day thinking environments while utilising earthy hints of "MAN" best demonstrated by the inclusion of his finely sculpted phalic region.

Done in the sweeping, expressive mode of Rodin, the work encompasses a Picasso proportioned posterior region, decahedrally styled upper torso and stomping lower utilities. The artist or artists, although unknown have succesfully encaptured a spirit of post modern deformity mainly appreciated by those of an "alternative" nature and ex heroin junkies.

A Colossus amongst men
A Colossus amongst men

Here you may receive the benediction of Thinker, view him in all his glory, gasp in wonder at the gourmet banquet of priceless visage or merely discreetly snigger, which ever suits your disposition most, although, out of respect, we would ask that you confine your reactions to these two.

I met a traveller from an antique land Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone Stand in the desert.
I met a traveller from an antique land Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone Stand in the desert.
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;

36, 24, 36

Standing (or sitting) a little over 6ft tall (base of the bidet to top of the head) It took some time to gather the required snow while only a mere three hours of constant sculpting to produce this ice monument.

Most of his body is slightly out of proportion as we haven't quite worked that bit out yet. His feet are approximately a size 15 to 16 while shoulder measurement comes in at over 60 inches.

we estimate that stood on his stomping appendages, Thinker would easily top 12 feet high and quite possibly a good bit more! 

My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
A thinker in darkness - Nothing beside remains. Round the decay Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare The lone and level sands stretch far away.
A thinker in darkness - Nothing beside remains. Round the decay Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Tribute and Dedication

A good few of the captions are taken from Percy Bysshe Shelleys 'Ozymandias' - a monument in its own right and one for which we are much indebted for providing such apt and august words.

 

I met a traveller from an antique land

Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,

Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,

And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;

And on the pedestal these words appear:

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare

The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Truly Awesome Snowman prank

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)