Simon Simon: Adult Version

Simple Simon

Crashed the fair

And

Met a group of characters.

Old Simon,

He was happy there-

That place

Was a con man’s haven,

Full of derelicts,

Unshaven

Drunkards, tattered former ‘sirs,’

Small of mouth and drawn of face....

All of them

Had left the

Race

Some years ago, and found themselves

Right there,

Minus a

Prayer.

So Simon,

Being such a swinger,

Mixed himself a double

Stinger.

After he was good and smashed,

Got a check of rubber

Cashed,

And walked up the nearest bum,

Offering him a flask of

Rum

(Which actually was watered down)

For just a solitary buck.

And, not the brightest bulb in

Town,

The bum thought, "Now my

Luck

Has turned!"

(Not realizing he'd been

Burned.)

Meanwhile, Simon

Lied and cheated,

Smuggled what he could,

Deleted

Any sense of pride or honor

(Lord, he was a first-rate

Conner!)

That he might have had before.

He left those virtues at the

Door

When he first chose the path of vice.

(Ah, but always there's a

Price.)

Then, one day,

Just to broaden scope,

Simon turned to peddling

Dope.

(Perhaps he just looked

In the mirror....

The face he saw there

Made it

Clear.)

He walked up to the nearest junkie,

Organ-grinder-with-a-

Monkey,

Sold him packs of (well, you know),

For a price, of course.

So Simon,

Drunk with power and gin,

Decided he would always

Win

No matter what the stakes would be.

(Too bad he couldn't

See

Ahead, to what awaited him.)

Instead,

Spinning hard the wheel of Chance,

His number landed on

Romance,

(well, of a sort),

And, bargaining with a fallen maiden,

Offered her great treasures

Laden

With promises of jewels and furs....

If she consented, they’d be

Hers.

("What?" you ask. He'll rob a

Bank?")

Remember-

Simon's no

Think tank.

“I conduct my business purely....

Surely

You will understand..."

(Reasoning like this was

Planned-)

But, perhaps, for just a while,”

This she said with half a

Smile-

“I could make your life much brighter,

And your burdens so much

Lighter...."

And she did.

But Simon,

Though he’d been quite clever,

Couldn’t hope to win

Forever.

Came the day she said,

“Farewell.”

Simon, wretched man, he

Fell

Upon his knees and begged her stay....

"Please, I'll give you every penny

I have earned (or stolen.)

Many

Girls would think my offer

Splendid!"

Responded she,

"But Darling,

When did

You think you had bought me?

No," she giggled,

"You've just

Taught

Me

What it means to be a snake.

Make

My day, and stop your whining.

By tomorrow, I'll be

Dining

With the likes of dukes and kings

Thanks to all these lovely

Rings,

Baubles, jewels, and precious

Things

You've given me along the way.

There's nothing more that you can

Say

To change my mind and make me

Stay."

So now, for Simon:

No more hope.

He drinks the rum and takes the

Dope

Which formerly had been his trade....

Thanks to one young, wily

Maid.

He crashes no more noisy fairs.

He’s done with peddling useless

Wares.

For, clever though he seemed to be,

He’s just a simple

Man,

You see.