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Sinking

Updated on September 24, 2010

 i ran to the place where we played hide and seek

and it was gone

i dropped to the ground and let out a deep chokeing cry

why is it that hideaways are so few and far between, and that they are so easily lost.

-------------------------------

so im back to that place now

where my tears evoke anger

and the slightest feeling must remain unseen

no conversation

no connection

just the motions

someone spin me

spin me until i sink into the oblivian

because im telling you

i cant take this

there is no escape anymore

i had a reason to try

and i did

and now

no matter what i do

everything will be erased

as if it never was

effort is futile

and the facade

that N tore down

has been built back up again

i feel like a still life

motionless and pretty

but surrounded by statues

no emotion

no response

lifeless.

the tears i cry are for you now

because youve dissapeared

and all the life you poured into me

is gone.

and im the only one feeling any absence.

the only one with no connection

i feel dead inside

i see my insides on the ground on front of me

fallen out

for you to enjoy

i was spinning

and now everything is still

i spread my arms out

and spin on my own

not even close.

this is not what i want

this is not what i need

this is not going to work

i asked you to trust

you didnt

my deception was white

my deception was well intended

for an easy break

but your intention

caused a disaterous rip

and now i wait

wait

wait

wait

for the explosion

for the massacre

for the inner breakdown to blow out

i no longer crawl outside of myself to feel happy

i just curl up inside of me

and wait for the storm to pass

L

 

 

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    • the pink umbrella profile imageAUTHOR

      the pink umbrella 

      7 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      J L- you are.

    • 4elements profile image

      4elements 

      7 years ago

      i enjoyed this hub. I like to read about what others are thinking lets me know Im not alone.

    • profile image

      Johnny Love 

      7 years ago

      With a heavy heart I cry alone under your unbrella. Trying to feel like your words dont effect me is like saying I can't breathe. I am down, I am up, I am able to float around in my heart just to hide. To be a ghost is beautiful at times, but today I wish I was noticed.

      Johnny Love

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 

      8 years ago from Minnesota

      I am very moved by your beautiful poem. This is Great poetry at its' best. Nice work:)

    • sligobay profile image

      sligobay 

      8 years ago from east of the equator

      Hi PinkUm: Imogen touches deep places with her voice clear but reflected resonance. I never heard her before your hub but I really love her. Hope you're well.

    • the pink umbrella profile imageAUTHOR

      the pink umbrella 

      8 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      sligobay- how much did you love imogen? love her singing hide and seek.

    • sligobay profile image

      sligobay 

      8 years ago from east of the equator

      PinkUm: Good and bad, the feelings of love and commitment, hurt and anger, pain and insecurity, will pass and become only the inspiration for our words as time goes bye. You have captured yours and put them in the bottle of a poem and put a cap on it. You will release the gen again when three wishes are needed.

      Thank you for the gift of your emotional expression and Imogen singing 'Hide and Seek', just lovely. Cheers.

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