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Slug

Updated on December 10, 2012
PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

Justin W. Price, AKA PDXKaraokeGuy, is a freelance writer, blogger, and award-nominated author based out of Juneau, Alaska.

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If you like this poem...

A revised version of it appears in my ebook, Digging to China, available both on Kindle and as a PDF. It will soon be available as a limited edition chap book. To request a PDF or chap book,click here.


Slug


I was in eighth grade in 1994. It was after school and we—my girlfriend and fourteen of our closest friends—were in the school office. That’s just what we did after school, waiting for our parents to shuttle us home. We—my girlfriend and I—had been “dating” for six months and we hadn’t yet kissed. At least, not really. She wanted too. I was shy. I noticed our fourteen closest friends were no longer standing with us, but had managed to surround us, forming a menacing circle of pimples, braces and braids. My girlfriend and I stood in this circle, facing each other. She was cute. My parents’ forest green minivan drove by the office window. “Goodbye,” I said to her, ready to be shuttled home. “Goodbye,” said she and we hugged. We’d hugged before. We were quite skilled at hugging. “How about a kiss?” She said. We’d kissed before. On the lips. Only on the lips. I looked at her cherubic face, her rosy cheeks, her full lips, her long curly brown hair. She was smiling and I puckered my lips, waiting for hers. What I encountered instead was a massive slug—slimy and exploratory—in my mouth and all over my face. For eons, this slug—moreover, the shock of this slug—choked me. I frantically fumbled for a way to get it out. Like the menacing circle, death was closing in. Imminent. Finally, it ended-- the invasion of the slug—and my life had been spared, though I wondered briefly if death may have been preferred. The circle was smiling. She was smiling. I was not. My face felt warm and was probably red. I lifted my shirt to my mouth and removed the last of the slug trail from my lips. “I did it wrong,” I said with my head down, as I walked out, a little wiser and full of shame, to greet my parents.






all rights reserved. Copyright Justin W. Price, Dec 22, 2011

Thanks for Reading.

PDXKaraokeGuy, also known as Justin W. Price, is the managing editor at eFiction horror. Husband to Andrea, father to two dogs. writer.poet.baseball fan. tattooed. He is am amateur theologian with a rabid sweet tooth. He resides in a suburb of Portland, Oregon.He has a poetry book available for Amazon Kindle, and also maintains a blog, FirstBlog. His work has been featured in the Crisis Chronicles, efiction Magazine, The Hellroaring Review, the Bellwether Review, eFiction Humor, and the Rusty Nail. Please visit his profile page for more information. Thanks!

How would you rate your first kiss?

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    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image
      Author

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      Express, you should. They're creepy! Thanks for reading!

    • Express10 profile image

      H C Palting 5 years ago from East Coast

      I think I would have had to been sedated! I have always shivered at the sight of these creatures and will continue to do so. I hope karma visited her soon after.

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image
      Author

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      Leann, I'm not a big slug fan. I wouldn't say the kiss was unwanted. It was just unexpected.

      Thanks for reading!

    • profile image

      leann2800 5 years ago

      Oh no! The slug is my least favorite creature on this whole planet and you compared it to a kiss...I assume very, very unwanted kiss. Yuck. And to be fair, I would find an unwanted pass yuck...and ewwwww!!!

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image
      Author

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      izetti, lots of slugs around here. Seemed like a good analogy. Thanks for stopping by!

      jeanine, thank you for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece!

    • profile image

      jeanine 5 years ago

      I thought you were talking about the other salty slug... ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...lol...lol...

    • izettl profile image

      Laura Irwin 5 years ago from The Great Northwest

      very good analogy and appropriate with the slug. I can totally appreciate the slug thing being from the northwest too.

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image
      Author

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      LOL, Sue. Indeed!

    • profile image

      Sueswan 5 years ago

      Gross! LOL

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image
      Author

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      Credence, plenty of slugs around here too. They seem to have an aversion for salt. Perhaps I should have used salt in this situation.

      Rosemay, I'm not sure I would have either! She was very sneaky!

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      Ewww I don't think I could kiss anyone ever again if I knew they'd had a slug in their mouths. yuk

      Good prose though Lol

    • Credence2 profile image

      Credence2 5 years ago from Florida (Space Coast)

      PDX, So, I always had romantic visions of a first kiss. As for slugs, I got plenty of the real thing all over the place around here. I certainly do not need to be reminded.

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image
      Author

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      Ghalech, thank you so much for your disgusting comment :-) Happy holidays to you, sir.

      Lapse, no. no. no. I got over it pretty quick, even though i still remember it years later!

      snakes, ya. I don't want anyone else to run my life!

    • snakeslane profile image

      snakeslane 5 years ago from Canada

      I remember that. I broke up with 'everyone' at the same time when I realized they all wanted to run my life.

    • Lapse profile image

      Lapse 5 years ago from East Coast Rules

      Whoa SO many questins!!!

      1- You didn't develop trust issues from this I hope.

      2- Do you consequently only do it with your eyes open?

      3- We wanna know if you dealt out any paybacks!

      lol...

    • profile image

      Ghaelach 5 years ago

      Hi PDX.

      Hey! wasn't it great young and in love, despite the pickles spots and braces. In the end you got used to these sliding, slippery, creatures that tried to devour our tongues.

      If i remember correct (a long time a go) they tasted quite sweet (but not always).

      Take care.

      LOL Ghaelach

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image
      Author

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      Alastar, last i saw her, she was married with a kid or two and still very cute. I don't fault her at all for wanting to kiss me, or hold her youthful indiscretions against her.

      racinwa, I'm sorry for the confusion. this is actually what's called a "prose poem which is, basically, a poem that looks like a story. I hope you enjoyed the story regardless of the label!

      Snakes, I did. We broke up a few months later, in typical junior high fashion, by her friends telling me she wanted to break up ;-)

    • snakeslane profile image

      snakeslane 5 years ago from Canada

      Ewww, did you still go out with her?

    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      i thought it's one of your poems yet i got it wrong lol...nice story of a kiss...

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

      Damn! Don't worry good friend. Things have a way of coming round. The evil one is probably toothless now.

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image
      Author

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      Mathira, it was. It's still with me, obviously.

      Ruby, what exactly was mean?

      jen, ya. it's an odd experience which, of course, loses significance the farther away you get from it!

      I'm glad this helped your day improve, Echo.

      thank you all

    • echoe0021 profile image

      echoe0021 5 years ago from Conway, AR

      That was awesome, made my day so much better. Thank you!

    • profile image

      jenubouka 5 years ago

      Oh how I can relate. Your description was spot on, not that I ever wanted to be reminded of this awful memory I have never quite been able to describe the alien gagging my throat. That is until now, thanks to you.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Awwww, That was mean....

    • mathira profile image

      mathira 5 years ago from chennai

      What an experience!

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image
      Author

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      Thank you all for reading and commenting. I'm glad you enjoyed my humiliation :-)

    • cherylone profile image

      Cheryl Simonds 5 years ago from Connecticut

      YUCK! I hope you weren't still going out with her after that. :)

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Gulp!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton

      well..now LOL good share my friend :)

    • molometer profile image

      molometer 5 years ago

      Garlic butter?

    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      EWWWWWWW!!!

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

      wow!