Something about Phil

It was a girls dominated set so the boys among us were well known to us because we were grouped in the ration of 4:1 and Group A comprised of five students from five different backgrounds. Kate is a Jamaican, I am Stephanie a Nigerian, Phil is an American, Monica an Irish and Debra a Brazilian. Learning about each other's culture wasn't part of our course but it turned out to be our fascination.

We all had different upbringing and different dreams but all shared one thing in common; we were all on scholarship perhaps that was why we understood each other better but there is something about Phil that made him special. Being the only boy in our group was a bonus but you see Phil had a way of bonding people and he had all of us under his palm and we all felt safe with him in different ways.

Kate was the head of our group but Phil was the driving force, he would gist us about past events, about our own histories, he knew our countries more than we do. And he would always tell us to believe in ourselves, he had his way into our hearts and I am sure that we all wanted to have him the other way but you see, we can't split him so I was able to control my burning desire and I am sure that others did too.

During our final exam, we all met to study together then in one of our meetings because the time for us to finally go our separate ways to pursue our dreams was just weeks away, we talked about our plans after school. 'Get a job, buy a house, car; you know what I mean but Phil had one dream dare to him and it actually caught me unawares because truly, we've all bonded like family.

Phil's voice sanked into our hearts as he spoke and I couldn't help but shed tears as his words deepen inside my heart. "My dream is to get a job and my Dad has secured a place for me but you see guys I have decided not to take the job for now because I signed up with the foundation so I will leave for Haiti immediately after our exam and I wish to remain there for sometime to help victims of the earthquake, this picture was sent to me by Morris, you all remember my friend Morris"?

You see, he wasn't thinking about himself rather was worried about the victims of the earthquake that rocked Haiti and he had already made contacts to be there. Looking at him that morning, I realized why he was dear to all of us. He went on to pronounce our group the United Nation because we are all from different backgrounds but while we were all fighting our tears and emotions, Phil made a request that blew us away because one thing about life is to have passion for something.

And another thing is to be preraped to handle it when it's time and as far as I know; none of us was prepared for that because we have our careers to pursue so voluntrying to go to Haiti wasn't what we wanted at that time. Kate is a single mother catering for a four years old son, I need to get a job to save up for my masters, Monica isn't emotionally prepared to face the terrifying situation physically and Debra is scheduled to fly back to Brazil immediately after our exam.

We all had reasons why we won't join him and he understood. We kept meeting and studying together and he kept updating us on developments in Haiti. Honestly, I haven't seen anyone as passionate as Phil when its about giving a helping hand, he was so happy that he will be in Haiti and he was preparing to be there with everything in him. To him that is what International Relations is all about and his flight to Haiti was a day after our exam so he chose Haiti over our get together party and that caught me.

One thing about life is that you can't run away from what you believe and no matter what the situation might be, once it's time for you to serve, you must serve. I knew that Phil wanted us to travel to Haiti because one of the things we discussed over the years was about humanity, about reaching out and we all wanted to be the change, we wanted to go across borders to touch lives and the opportunity called but our personal commitments became our priority. I knew deep down me that as much as he understood us that he was also disappointed because we failed to heed to the call.

That afternoon after our exams, I cashed all the money left in my account then bought myself an air ticket to Haiti because Phil was right; it's time for us to show that we care and there is no better way than to be present where it was happening. He was shocked to see me in Haiti, in fact he couldn't believe it when he saw me because it took me just six hours to sign up as a volunteer and even bought my air ticket with my own money. Anyway, we got to work without wasting time and before I could sit and reflect back, two years had gone by. I could not believe that it was 2012, how time fly.

I met a lot of wonderful people in Haiti, a lot of people from different humanitarian organizations. The two years spent in Haiti enabled me to see life from the other side because the devastation of the earthquake left a lot of people totally handicapped forever, children were orphaned and parents childless. We tried our best to reach out to as many people as we can and Phil the coordinator of our group was just everywhere, I can count how many days he had a descent sleep at night in the two years we worked together. You see working with Phil and not studying with him showed me a part of him I never knew.

His father is Jewish and he wants to be a Rabai someday. I saw how devoted he was to his religion, I mean, he understood Judaism as much as he understood Christianity and he is vast with Islam and other religions. One of the things I also discovered about him was his protective nature, he was protective of me and always made sure that I was okay. He came to me after our group picture because we were scheduled to travel back in the night and informed me about the job offer in his father's company, an offer I couldn't refuse because as far as I am concerned, I don't want to be far from him.

...my piece of advice is never to ever allow yourself to be trapped by dogma. Be result oriented in anything you do, do not ever allow other people's noise to be your opinion, draw out your inner voice and most importantly follow your heart, and to do this, you need to be courageous and grow your skin to take any cream of critism because nobody else matters in your case. It's all about you and you. This is something about Phil that caught me and I buried myself in it because he is the best for me.

Settling for the best should always be your desire and nothing more, believe me there is no compromise because I started liking him from the first day he spoke, his voice was like oil and it melted in my heart so what else do I need if not him? I didn't do the wrong thing traveling to Haiti to prove my belief in humanity because I didn't only gained recognition from the organization we worked with but I gained the most important piece of my course of existence and that's the big deal because on the scale of living, love fades but companionship is forever and I found my companion.

Phil is a good man, a good Rabbis and a progressive who believes in equality and fair play. Beingly deeply in love with someone that loves you gives you all the courage you need to face all critism and challenges lifes will offer, believe me Phil is my strength and in him, I discovered that the greatest happiness of life is the conviction that one is truly loved in spite of cultural differences. We both had different upbringings and are two different entities but was made whole by understanding. Loving someone isn't all about feelings but true affection counts on how well you understand the one you love.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength but loving someone deeply gives you courage, marriage is not by accident therefore always put out a positive and remarkable smile whenever you believe because smile is the beginning of love. It's true that I had a soft spot for him those days in school but deep down in my heart, I believe not because of the way he looked at me but because his love is better than wine. He walked to me the moment our plane touched down from Haiti and spoke to me the way no one had ever done. " Stephanie baby, how beautiful you are my darling, your eyes are like doves behind your veil.

And that was the magic.

Imagine the rest of the story because it's now eight years on...