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Song Lyrics - I Thought You Were My Angel

Updated on April 8, 2011

I always thought I loved you
I had to leave to know for sure
I saw a picture of your love for him
It was too much for me to endure

Making love to his memory
Is destroying my mind

A man needs to believe she's an angel
He wants her to be fresh and pure
A love saved for him only
And not something she's done before

Looking deep into your eyes
Whose love I will find?

I can't live with your past
I can't live without your future
My heart won't tell me what to do
I'm sorry baby, I know I'm hurting you

I know how hard it can be
Living your life as someone's fantasy
Pretending love has no past
And always hoping that he won’t ask

I'm leaving even though I love you
Because love needs to be blind

Instead of running to you
I'm walking away
I know I still love you
But the past won't let me stay

I can't live with your past
I can't live without your future
I don't know what to do
Will it last or are we through?

I don't want to live with his memories
But they're burned into my heart
I want to believe I'm the one and only
But love for you is nothing but art
How can I live without you
When your picture is everywhere?
How can I erase the pain?
Al I do is just sit and stare

I can't live with your past
I can't live without your future
I've been thinking all night about you
Were you dreaming of him or of me too?

Baby was it wild with him?
Is it real with me?
He painted your sweet canvas
And his dream became a reality

Am I the one who said
You were made of white lace
And how you could never be bold?
Did I bring your mother into it?
To keep you down and under
Minding what you are told
Did I tell you who you are?
Yes my little dove I did
While bringing all the virgins to you
Holding hands and crying
Because they know your pain
I made them feel that way too

I know I'm wrong
But my heart doesn't care
I know I'm wrong
But my bird flew before I was there
I know I'm wrong
But I need your blue sky
I know I'm wrong
It's how I feel but I can't tell you why


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    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      Mark Lecuona 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @QudsiaP1 - Men are as conflicted as women.... Thank you!

    • QudsiaP1 profile image

      QudsiaP1 6 years ago

      And this say men are not conflicted. :P

      Great job!

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      Mark Lecuona 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      Well your response is amazing too because I sit with a big smile on my face. I think one of the best things about aging (and I sure have to think hard about that; it's a short list!) is the self-confidence I have to know myself. And when I say it that way it means to admit things to myself. I want to see the holes I dig in front of me so I don't fall in them AGAIN. As I live at the moment, not in love with anyone, it gives me the time to think about what has gone wrong in the past because I don't want to take up with someone new unless I KNOW I can be different. I am so aware of my habits that it's a bit paralyzing at times but writing helps me get the feeling back and provide movement in the right direction.

    • Storytellersrus profile image

      Barbara 6 years ago from Stepping past clutter

      Wow. I feel... heard. This is an amazing response and exactly why you are able to be so very honest in this poem. I was moved before, but now... I sit in wordless wonder.

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      Mark Lecuona 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @Storytellersrus - First thank you for taking the time to read this thing and put your mind into it. It is always gratifying to see someone stop and relate to what I say. I can agree with you when you say "It doesn't make me liky you..." because it is true that this is about possessiveness, jealousy and control. But this is me; its a small part of me. The male need for his princess is inside me and I brought it out in the open here and made it who I was. I know how to control thoughts such as these and do not wish to be judgmental of anyone. If I was then it would be a very lonely life. You pretty much got my intention on this one.

      I know I am flawed and I don't mind talking about it. It's helpful to me to look into the mirror with an earnest desire to improve how I relate to others.

      I gave you a glimpse

      And some small sense

      Of how I think

      But it was just a blink

      Of the life I lead

      Of which I will concede

      Of the flaws in my heart

      But today I will start

      Again

      To be a friend

      And understand you

      Because you are human too

    • Storytellersrus profile image

      Barbara 6 years ago from Stepping past clutter

      Yep, totally relate. It is difficult to put your work out there for others to... discuss. Especially when it is about something so not PC, as this poem reveals. We all like to think we are "above" judgment and that we could accept someone for who they are now, versus who they were in the past. Admitting this is not the case is pretty darn honest.

      It doesn't make me like you but it makes me respect you- does that make sense? You allow yourself to become vulnerable to point out something very sad- the loss of love because you cannot forgive. At least this is what I got out of the poem. It hurts for me to think that I could not be forgiven for what I did before I met my love, my husband. Happily, he had as many faults as I, and so we merged and become flawed together, haha.

      But then, maybe I didn't get your intention at all. Once we create our poetry, others have every right to put themselves into it. I might lay all the blame on you, but in fact, I don't like the me I see in this poem. Thanks for putting it out there.

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      Mark Lecuona 7 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @Midianite - Oh you know... sometimes you get a bit self-conscious about creating something but you're right.... what's to worry about?

    • Midianite profile image

      Midianite 7 years ago from Australia

      Why would that possibly make you nervous?

      I'm a friendly guy.

      P.s I like reading your work because each piece makes me stop think about myself and gives me a chance to evaluate my ways.

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      Mark Lecuona 7 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @Midiante - That's a healthy attitude and now you know you can heal; people that cannot overcome the loss of a lover turn into stalkers and become a menace. As long as you experience the healing process then you will be able to let yourself go towards someone in the future. There is less fear of loss even if you fall completely because you know you are a healthy person.

      Ok... now I'm nervous because you are reading my stuff! Ha...

    • Midianite profile image

      Midianite 7 years ago from Australia

      To be honest, the thing I had considered 'bad' is now a positive - as I have made it one. I'm going to read more of your work right now, just to see if I enjoy the rest of it as much as this piece.

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      Mark Lecuona 7 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @Midianite - thank you for the strong words. I'm sorry you had to go through this sort of thing but life brings the good with the bad...

    • Midianite profile image

      Midianite 7 years ago from Australia

      WOW!

      "Making love to his memory

      Is destroying my mind"

      "He painted your sweet canvas

      And his dream became a reality"

      What a powerful write. It sounds similar to something I recently endured. I like the flow of this piece, I can picture each verse and the words roll beautifully off the tongue.

      Can't wait to read more of your work

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      Mark Lecuona 7 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @Acaetnna - thank you for commenting. It's nice to receive kudos from one of hubpages stars! And I mean that for real! You always hit the right buttons with your work.

      Yes it is tough when you are confronted by something that is unacceptable in the person you love... the feelings are still there but now what?

    • acaetnna profile image

      acaetnna 7 years ago from Guildford

      Gosh a great read. To love and then lose a love is the most heart rendering experience. Your words certainly moved me with this poem. Awesome.

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      Mark Lecuona 7 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @stigma31 - It's tough to let it all go sometimes. Everyone makes mistakes but not everyone can forgive. Thank you for the kind words.

      @Teylina - thank you... this is about a revelation from the past of the one you love....

    • profile image

      Teylina 7 years ago

      Who's the butterfly? Love this. Memories for everybody, I'm sure and still questions with no answers. Really good!

    • Stigma31 profile image

      Stigma31 7 years ago from Kingston, ON

      Yes, dwelling on the past of a loved one is not good for the soul. Worse, if they occasionally bring it to your attention. Very well, written. I loved it....Love me for I am me, not a refection or shadow of someone from your past. Of course voting up!

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      Mark Lecuona 7 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @Create & Stan - Thank you... I just added some more lines and tweaked some others. It's an incredibly judgmental piece revealing the extreme depth of the male double-standard. And yes I could be that guy... I don't want to be that way but for some reason it's there....

    • Stan Fletcher profile image

      Stan Fletcher 7 years ago from Nashville, TN

      This was deep, man. Loved it. Lots to think about.

    • CreatePerfection profile image

      CreatePerfection 7 years ago from Beautiful Colorado

      Hi Suburban Poet, I really enjoyed this thought provoking piece. Thank you.

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      Mark Lecuona 7 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @Lady_Tenas - well I already added a final verse... it all is about the delusion of a man and how he can't share anything of your life... even before he knew you...

    • profile image

      Lady_Tenaz 7 years ago

      I loved this one immensely! I could relate to this on so many levels. Sometimes love can hurt in so many ways....hugs!

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