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I know it's wrong in hindsight.
Now though it feels so right and so good, my righteous anger. To explode on the outside a manifestation of what is happening in my head my heart.
I throw it on you. I thrash my anger towards your back, your face. Whichever is facing me at the time .Whichever is confronting me at the time of my acceptance…
What I allow to come from my mouth .Anger, hate, and love, a strange combination. I am aware of this .How can it be, to happen all at the same time? Because I am complex. The complexity I still don't understand. The depths of which I don't see the end. Because I allow an outburst of pain, an outburst of thought.
Hurtful words thrown towards my target. I Don’t know what I truly want. What I need.
So my apologies, my apology for looking to you for my fix.For my unrighteous anger.
You or your words cannot fix this turmoil inside me. This raging war of anger.
So again my apologies to you and to myself. My regret is to know when to keep my mouth shut, or when to keep it open and scream.
So I scream. I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.