The Demons In My Mind
Are you afraid of monsters?
Even when a child tries to tell you that they are not afraid of what is underneath the bed or hiding in the closet, once the lights go out and the silence approaches they begin to wonder. What could be there? Am I hearing something?
But not only that, they start to make stuff up. They trully believe that something will grab their feet if they leave the bed, so much that they become real or still imaginary?
I created a fictional story of a girl who was being controled by the monsters in her life. She was letting them scare her so bad that she couldn't force away the illusion.
This is What kids seem to see at night. Illusion?
A little girl at the age of seven lay still in her bed while her father sat next to her, reading her a bedtime story, so securebeing next to her father. She loved listening to stories from him every night, snuggled up so safe and sound, as she looked around at the dark room, she would feel scared, glad to be with her father, glad she wasn’t alone. She was hoping there weren’t any monsters under the bed or in the closet. So she asked her dad to check everywhere before she went to sleep, that was the only way she could get to sleep, or else she would lay awake with the thoughts of monsters filling her head. Every night her dad was right there by her bed reading her a story, ridding the room of monsters and tucking her in so she could sleep soundly. He would always protect her and keep anything from hurting her, after all that’s what fathers are for. Her dad was always there for her, giving her advice and leading her through the first few years of her life. He was always there, telling her what’s right and wrong; making sure she steered clear from all evil. They had the perfect father-daughter relationship.
Until a couple years later when she was nine, after being in school for a few years, her father found her watching a bad show on TV one day. He was very upset with her.
“I’m sorry daddy, I’ll never do it again, I don’t know what I was thinking!” She pleaded to her father through tears. He of course forgave her; he knows she’s human and makes mistakes, he knew this day would come. he blocked all bad channels on TV, protecting her so she would never stray again.
As the years went by, she always loved having her father right next to her, protecting her from anything that life might throw at her, he was like a body of armor she put on and as long as she was letting her father help, she was safe. She didn’t worry because she knew that her father would never leave her. But she couldn’t help falling into some of the temptations she was around at school; all the other kids were so intriguing and inviting. She told them flat out “NO” the first time, but after awhile she figured some of the things she was doing would be ok. She was hanging with a different crowd than her father would have liked so she didn’t tell him who her friends where. They introduced her to a new band group and some pretty cool TV shows she had never heard of before. It was all so different than what she was used to but what could it hurt...? after all she wasn’t acting like the people she sees on the television. Weeks have gone by and a lot of time has passed. Her father was in the living room when she got home from school, she snapped at him with a rude remark and he was shocked to hear such filth coming from his daughter’s mouth. He didn’t understand what would cause such behavior from his little child he carried in his hands so carefully and gently through life.
She saw how upset her father was a quickly forgave him, she felt very sick for how she had been acting. She apologized very quickly. She didn’t understand her behavior any better than her dad did.
But a few years later, when she was older and was able to make decisions for herself, she figured she was old enough to take care of herself; think for herself. She told her dad she didn't need him anymore; that she could protect herself from the schemes of life. So he disspeared from sight, she was so used to being protected she didn’t know any other life, she didn't think anything would happen to her.
The next day the girl woke up very late, she was not in one of her best moods. She ran downstairs furious at her father for not waking her up in time, but she couldn’t find him anywhere, she didn’t understand where he could be but she just shrugged it off because she was late for school, she ran outside just in time for the bus to whiz by. So she had to walk to school. All day at school she was in a terrible mood, snapping at the teachers, having conflict with other students, she was hanging with the bad crowd of people that she knew was bad but hung with them anyway, she didn't think it would cause her any harm, she wasn't planning on doing the things they did. As it was time for school to be over she waited at the school for her dad to pick her up but he never showed; she walked home, even more furious than before. She got home expecting there to me food on the table for dinner, but like before, her father was nowhere to be found.
A few days have gone by, the sun rising and setting continuaully as if time didn't know how alone she was. She came across all kinds of schemes and temptations, but she was always used to her father being right there to protect her, so she just fell right into every one of them that came her way. She didn’t think it was hurting her at all, so she didn’t know what she was doing to herself. She knew no other life.
A few days later she laid awake at night, not able to sleep, a strong feeling of depression and loneliness swept over her. She didn’t understand why she was so depressed, it infuriated her just the thought of being so alone, so she blared her room with heavy rock music to drown out her thoughts. Her father wasn’t around so she didn’t care if anyone heard. After awhile the words from the music started to get embedded in her brain like a brand on a cow’s thigh, they rung constant and strong all the time, every time she went to bed and woke up, the words where there, haunting her mind and starting to creep into her soul. The words of self pity and hate were there to great her every morning, to tell her how pathetic she was. Day after day, time after time she got more and more depressed feeling more and more alone. Hurtful words still chiming, and degrading lyrics getting louder and louder.
One night later that week, something hit her, she was in her room with the degrading heavy rock music blaring, lying face down on the floor crying her eyes out, feeling selfpity, turning into the people the songs where talking about, she exactly like them. She was crying out to her father, wondering where he had gone, why he was not around like he used to be to protect her from all this stuff that she had been going through. She was upset, angry, scared and alone. “Ok father I need you back in my life to protect me” she cried out through sobs.
Next thing she knew her dad came flying through the door, grabbed the radio and destroyed it. The sudden silence that filled the room frightened her; she popped up to find her father smiling down at her with eyes full of concern and love.
“Dad!! Where did you go?” She yelled with anger to him.
“You told me that you didn’t need me anymore… so I left.” He answered
“But don’t you love me? You used to protect me, why did you let me go through such stuff” She replied.
“Of course I love you; that’s why I never left you, I was always keeping an eye on you. But if you want my help you have to allow me to give it to you, or else there’s nothing I can do for you.”
He picked her up and put her in bed, tucked her in and read her a story. Then, after the story was over she looked in her fathers eyes and said "Daddy please check my room for monsters, so I can sleep tonight"