Strong Mind:Weak Heart
“When life gives you thousand reasons to cry, Give life a million reason to smile”
She wakes up each day feeling stronger than yesterday. It’s been months but she feels like it had been forever. It has been too hard for her, she had been crying for nights, been sick for weeks, and she definitely lost weight. She keeps asking what she did wrong, been blaming herself of what she had become today. She even thought of cursing those people who caused her so much pain. But she need not to because she’s stronger now. She planned to wake up every day thinking of positive things to forget the past, to stop crying and start smiling.
From then on, she tried to keep herself busy because she believes that a free time would only give her the chance to think, to be reminded of the hurtful events she had undergone. She hates it, she hates when a bit of those memories enter her mind. At first, she doesn’t want to accept the truth that it happened, that her dreams had been blown away, that she needs to move on and understand that people cannot control everything.
“Maybe this is my life,” she says at times. “Maybe it is God’s way of teaching me my lessons, and maybe I was meant to learn the hard way.” Words always comes rumbling out of her mind giving her headaches. It is a total mess because she tries to fight all the negative thoughts with positive ones just to stay strong.
Once, when she was a 6-year old kid, she daydreamed of her own fairy tale. She never wanted to be like Cinderella who was a poor orphan but luckily married a prince. She also didn’t want to be Snow White who is a king’s daughter but was raised by a cruel step mom. She didn’t dream to be any of those princesses in all the fairy tales she had read and neither did she dream of marrying a prince. She’s just a simple girl who wished for a happy family living a simple life. At her young age, that was all that she wanted. She prayed for nothing but to land a good job and start a peacefully living happy family. She even did not dream of having a big house or a car, not even a soft bed.
That is it until she grew up to be a vigorous teenager whose prerogative is to live a life to its fullest. She forgot her dream and became too weak to handle small obstacles. She often gave up and turns her back so easily.
One day, she realized she’d be having her own family. Then she was reminded of her dream, a “happy family”. She promised herself that she will be fulfilling that dream no matter what happens. She said she would do anything just to make her family happy together. She was willing to sacrifice things and swore to be the best housekeeper she could be. She tried her best, but she failed. Life is full of surprises, they say. And this is the biggest surprise she ever had. Why would her only dream be gone out with the wind? She asked, “Am I not good enough to deserve it? To have a happy life with my family?” questions keep popping out of her head. And then when she stares at the mirror she would say, “I am still blessed, I am even one of the luckiest persons on earth because I had the best education which is this life. This kind of life that taught me how to fight and to stick out for myself... This life that gave me the saddest moments and hurtful challenges but had also offered me the happiest days of being gifted with God’s greatest gifts, KIDS.”