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Stupid Things

Updated on January 4, 2015

Mike's Common Sense

I am dangerous with a knife in my hands. My fingers and other digits cringe in fear whenever I decide I need to cut or slice something. Sometimes, I forget which side of the blade I need to cut with, and which side I need to push down on. Other times I forget to get my fingers out of the way when I close the knife; and other times I just forget that I have a knife in my hand. Fortunately my propensity for doing stupid things with a knife is off set by my ability to heal quickly.

I also do other stupid things, such as lock my keys in the car, leave my head lights on, (thank God for that little buzzer), leave the stove on, lean back on kitchen chairs, and run on wet tile floors. I have down loaded programs that aren't compatible with my version of windows, left my cell phone in my shirt pocket, then bent over to flush the toilet, and lit my back yard gas grill with a match when the gas was on high. My miraculous healing abilities, high endurance of pain, hard head, quick growing eye brows, and the Triple A have helped me recover from some of these.

I have been known to run my mouth without engaging my brain, walk into objects that are in plain sight, light my nose on fire instead of my cigar (I have a big nose), walk into opposing stadiums wearing Oakland Raider's clothes, throw my white clothes in with the colored laundry (I went through college wearing pink underwear), wear sneakers to a dance on a gym floor, and hammer my thumb instead of the nail.

I have done other stupid things like told my wife she looks fat in that dress, microwaved a TV dinner in an aluminum foil tray, tried to rewire a switch without turning off the breaker, bathe my cat, change a light bulb without someone holding the ladder, and forget to put oil in my lawn mower.

We all do stupid things; after all we are only human. I think the only really stupid thing is to do them a second or third time. With the exception of wearing Oakland Raider's gear to opposing stadiums, I do my best to learn from my mistakes.

My guardian angel is busy enough with the mistakes I make the first time around.

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    • muley84 profile image
      Author

      Michael A Muehleisen 7 years ago from Miami,FL

      Hi Linda! No it is not your hair color, we all do stupid things sometimes. Though I admit I never vacuumed up the bottom of one of my dresses. lol

    • profile image

      Linda Myshrall 7 years ago

      How fun is this?!

      Does vacuuming the bottom of a long dress in the closet count as stupid? How about setting off the car alarm while I'm in it?

      I always thought it was my hair color...

      I see I'm not alone.

    • muley84 profile image
      Author

      Michael A Muehleisen 8 years ago from Miami,FL

      Trish, I don't know about you but I am afraid so for me. lol

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 8 years ago

      Hmmm, ok. I am guilty of not thinking myself, even at this age lol. In fact, here lately it seems more often than not. Senility creeping in?

    • muley84 profile image
      Author

      Michael A Muehleisen 8 years ago from Miami,FL

      Trish, believe me I was stupid, or at least not thinking.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 8 years ago

      Hard to say muley lol. But doing them when younger is simply because you're young. I doubt it has anything to do with being stupid :)

    • muley84 profile image
      Author

      Michael A Muehleisen 8 years ago from Miami,FL

      Hi Trish, it is true the older you get the more prone you are to do stupid things. Wait a minute, come to think of it I did a LOT of stupid things when I was younger...maybe its in my genes. .lol

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 8 years ago

      LOL this is funny. I love when you walk to a room and forget why you did, and the phenomenon of going back and repeating it and suddenly remembering. I was making a purchase the other day and had a $5 bill left, which I put into my pocket. As the woman was bagging my things, I looked at the counter and said, oh no, I just had $5 here. She looked around and said I don't see it. Then it hit me, I only moments before put it in my pocket. The brain does crazy things at times, and it seems to get crazier the older you get :)

    • muley84 profile image
      Author

      Michael A Muehleisen 8 years ago from Miami,FL

      Steve, you are sooo very funny. Love you too.

    • profile image

      SJM 8 years ago

      Hey Bro, did you stop cause of finger fatigue or is there a word limit to this blog site?

      Love ya

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