ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

...Such A Liar...

Updated on July 18, 2011

So many times I have recently read about the Power of Keeping Silent...

I write every single day, several pages and I keep them piling up with my rantings and ravings and plans. I find so much peace there on the page. This morning in particular I remembered that I said today is "Monday Musings" day...and it keeps me on track to check in with my friends who are reading along with me. I am grateful for that, and I feel thankful to have this place to do so.

I have been changing a lot of things...and the people around me are rapidly changing as well. I woke up this morning feeling completely disheveled and displaced. I had to keep asking myself WHAT AM I DOING HERE?! Pulling out my paper and pen, I found out that answer and several more. I started a new painting and a pencil drawing. I reminded myself of the powerful thoughts and quotes around me. I told myself that I am most definitely not the only one with that same question and I am also one that will do the hard work to make sure I do what I love to do without being attached to the outcome.

I made sure that I spaced out my time so that everyone had the attention they needed. I wondered about how I felt about always being so busy and then reminded myself that this is all there is...I am thankful for the people around me. I appreciate that my children are separate people from me and that they evolve as their own separate beings who are grateful to be treated as such. They are so different from me. I do not own them. I am here to keep them safe and happy and its a lot of work. I am not complaining. It is because of them that I chose to squeeze in the paintings and writings and drawings...this shows them that I, too, have my own life and things that I am interested in doing. It teaches them that is it important to be able to do things for yourself that you love to do, and that there is nothing wrong with it.

I also thought about what a liar I can be, to myself. How I plan and project and scatter things around already knowing that it is a recipe for disaster. Hi, my name is Carole and I am a master multi-tasker. I must surrender this because it causes my ADD to go into over drive and at the end of the day I have five projects that will never be finished. This too is hard work. These past few weeks I have been talking to myself...ALOT...and lying about not wanting to be engaged in so many projects. I MUST crop off somewhere. I will continue to work on this...the deep breathing and studying yoga/meditation is definitely an asset at this point!

I have also been involved with some unresolved emotions and so I do not like to write, or even talk sometimes when this is going on. I would rather "be silent" than to spread heavy or negative stuff around...so I hope that as soon as my capsized ship of sharing rights itself, I will be writing more often.

Thank you as always for reading!
Until Next Time ~
Namaste


working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)