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Sucking Google - Funny Poem

Updated on September 28, 2011

As I finally crawl towards a little landmark for me i.e. 50th Hub. I decided to write an article about how fed up I am because of the SEO fighting and google's page ranking. As a matter of fact, I even thought of giving up writing because of all this mess. Actually, I am not into money, I didn't even sign up for adsense yet, but actually I was heart-broken because my word wasn't finding much readership.

Anyways, I decided not to write an article but a funny poem, to which 'everybody can relate'. I hop you all will like this little piece of humour :)

SUCKING GOOGLE - Funny Poem:


Once in my life, not so ago

I decided to be a writer

But there was a thing to chase me, Google

A soon I decided to give it a go.


I am conveying my pains through my poem

The journey of all the writers together

The mess is on me with the ever changing algo

To break my head into a wall, which way should I go?


In the night, alone in my room

Free from worries, with a breath of sooth

When I am dreaming of making love

Google haunts me for back-linking my hubs.


I am a writer

Don’t know anything at all about SEO

It is like they a want a double package

Like a girl wants Brad Pitt and Jack Sparrow.


Though I took some tutorials and read some books

But page ranking is way too creepy than it looks.

To reach the Google’s 1st page;

is harder than putting your wild wife in a cage.


Google Analytics is another mess,

You surely don’t want to mess with

It is so detailed and thorough

It can identify you as a hetro or a homo.


Google adsense is like marriage

Everyone wants to have his share in it.

It works more like a heritage system

It makes a dollar and your grandson collects it.


I am fed up from the idea of this passive income

I may get into Elance, Odesk or Guru

But for $1 for 500 words original content

It will be better if I shoot my brain through.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/


When Google farts, I get a few hits of traffic


And right now, Google doesn’t seem to be in the mood


So let’s share these lines to all our writers,


May I get some traffic, before I am screwed.

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    • shara63 profile image

      Farhat 5 years ago from Delhi

      They may be poor by pocket but are rich by words and so they rule the world'.... so far readership is concerned...great writers are always discovered to get their ascribed recognition in due course of time for sure ...Keep writing , all the best !

    • uzma shaheen profile image

      Uzma Shaheen Bhatti 5 years ago from Lahore,Pakistan

      hahahaha...I am feeling the same way.

    • techygran profile image

      Cynthia 6 years ago from Vancouver Island, Canada

      Google haunts you for not backlinking! hehehhehe jolly good!

    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image

      Fellow Mumbaite 6 years ago from India

      Nice piece of work Hunbbel...Had a good laugh! How true!

    • SheliaKay profile image

      SheliaKay 6 years ago from Marietta, Ohio..... but born and raised in Northern Ohio on Lake Erie

      I Love your poem Hunbbel, You have a lot to offer. You have my vote.

    • nenytridiana profile image

      nenytridiana 6 years ago from Probolinggo - Jawa Timur - Indonesia

      Great work my friend. You know how to entertain peoples. I have been on that situation. You are the most honest man I have known as in your hub Fredom of speech, double standart.

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Zabbella: You're welcome :)

      @Tracy: That's so sweet of you :)

    • Tracy Robinson profile image

      Tracy Robinson 6 years ago from Mauk, Georgia

      T'was funny, Hunbbel. Interesting too. Still learning a lot from you.

    • Zabbella profile image

      Zabbella 6 years ago from NJ-USA

      Thank you for the tip. I will try.

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Zabbella: You may try Elance then. Elance is a much better website than any of its competitors.

    • Zabbella profile image

      Zabbella 6 years ago from NJ-USA

      Funny and so very true! You are so right on a lot of that stuff. I tried GURU for my artwork....unless you pay for the upgrade...you cannot showcase your work! Ok..so here's the rub, The clients want to see your work up-front so, if they cannot see your work...they won't bite. (a vicious circle) so here I am, a starving artist...so hungry...

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      Jacqui2011: I hope so too, but I rather doubt that Google will like this as well. Ha!

      Thank you for stopping by :)

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @CASE1WORKER: Do not worry. I will be the one slaughtered first, as the leader of the all the 'screwed' writers who appreciated this poem and commented here :D

    • jacqui2011 profile image

      jacqui2011 6 years ago from Leicester, United Kingdom

      I'm sure this poem will be a hit with your followers and hopefully google. I know what you mean and can totally relate to what you say. Voted up and funny.

    • CASE1WORKER profile image

      CASE1WORKER 6 years ago from UNITED KINGDOM

      Perhaps you should learn to love google and then it will love you? OK no chance, just a thought- it is so fickle, it loved me lots last month, but now.....persona non grata

      Voted Up which will upset the great G

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Thoughts220: Thank you for stopping by. I am glad that you liked it :)

    • thoughts220 profile image

      thoughts220 6 years ago from India

      That made me laugh out loud. And yes, almost anyone can relate to this. Well written. Loved it! Especially the popeye - google picture.

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Stayingalivemoma: That's so sweet of you! Thanks for stopping by :)

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Bloggering: Thank you so much :)

      P.S: Your profile picture is very good. Looking gorgeous :)

    • stayingalivemoma profile image

      Valerie Washington 6 years ago from Tempe, Arizona

      Yay!! I am not alone in the Google Zone! Maybe the Google Gods will read this and take pity on us. Or maybe they'll start requiring us to sacrifice our young (it could happen). Very well done and I will be tweeting for you!

    • bloggering profile image

      bloggering 6 years ago from Southern California

      Well said and right on target ;-)

    • asmaiftikhar profile image

      asmaiftikhar 6 years ago from Pakistan

      interesting poem present every writers feelings.keep it up!

    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 6 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      uh uh...lol to you and to me...Cheers all the same!!!

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @raciniwa: Haha. Thank you so much dear. And Oh! I wish the same. May be we get something to cherish upon, before we get screwed. Me, for writing this poem, and you, for appreciating it :D haha

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Venzkhvam: Thank you so much for stopping by, I always appreciate your comments. :)

    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 6 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      nyahahahaa...i do too want to cry out and let out my frustrations on google, yet i find this poem oh so funny...you got it man...i do too tried odesk, but it doesn't fit my mood just yet...just onward with it, maybe someday a publisher would notice, and would launch us writers on Hubpages...

    • VENZKHVAM profile image

      VENZKHVAM 6 years ago from Milk way galaxy, trying to find a more adventurous place in another galaxy with my great followers

      Hunbbel,

      You had done justification to the topic you had chosen and now. whos said traffic dont wants you your funny poem is attracting all the class apart.

      If I tell you few words on this poem

      It has became the funniest of all poem

      Put together written in this hub page may be

      And I am sure this is going to go far may be

      I will recommend google to give you the money

      Of your grand son, as you deserve your own money

      Along with your grandson who is going to be trained by you

      I really enjoyed reading each line of it.

      BELIEVE ME SINCE I LIKED IT LIKE ASHORT STORY , I READ IT TWICE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT MEANING YOU HAD MEANT EVERY WHERE.

      I HAD VOTED UP AND BEAUTIFUL.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 6 years ago from Orlando, FL

      I appreciate your humor! Keep it coming :))

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      Thank you everyone. Because of your comments, I am very pleased to know that I am not the only one being frustrated here. There are many other people too, who are sucked by Google. Hahaha. Thank you so much for stopping by my friends :)

    • profile image

      Nick Lucas 6 years ago

      very nice! Funny, true and good poetry writing!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 6 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Funny!!! I liked the way your words flowed...frustration can work wonders for us when we allow it to take over! Sucking Google...Hahahaha!! Classic Hunbbel! :)

    • Granny's House profile image

      Granny's House 6 years ago from Older and Hopefully Wiser Time

      Great way to use keywords. I am sure you will get hits with this poem

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Sueswan: Thank you :)

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Saddlerider1: Thank you so much for stopping by and a comment of appreciation from a honourable poet as you, is surely an achievement for me. Thanks for the honour :)

      And I laughed so hard at this:

      "I'm a Poet and AdSense and Google both know it

      Therefore they will ensure I stay poor"

      So meaningful and funny haha

    • profile image

      Sueswan 6 years ago

      Very funny poem Hunbbel.

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 6 years ago

      I'm a Poet and AdSense and Google both know it

      Therefore they will ensure I stay poor

      so I publish myself and link my book everywhere

      without a care, you see Adsense and Google don't care

      If I relied on feeding myself with their Non-Sense I

      would be starving at best and jumping the fence

      So all I can advise is to open your eyes and take

      your talent to another level and walk away from the

      devil's called Google and AdSense

      Great poem BTW I am still on the floor laughing my

      Ass off....now go write some more, write, write, write

      they will come, just watch....

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 6 years ago from Southern Illinois

      HaHa, Laughed all the way through it, made a lot of sense. Thank you.

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      Thank you Mr. Alastar, to stop by and taking your time off to read this and provide me with your feed back. I totally agree with you, trails and errors are part of our lives. I hope one day my words get enough readership, as much efforts I put in those words to write them. I am glad that you intend to read some of my hubs. I welcome you and I hope that you will surely like majority of my hubs. Thank you once again :)

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Poetvix: Thank you so much for your appreciation and kind words :)

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 6 years ago from North Carolina

      Hunbbel, Poetvix and the others have said it well. Keep writing Hunbbel-- keep writing what you want; and not only does practice make better but your readership will find you in time. All good things in time. The Hub title as you probably know is important. You of course want the best page ranking for your subject. It can be difficult with some articles to get the title just right. Trail and error. Then, in many instances success. I'm going to your site tommorrow and read a couple of your Hubs. This poem already shows your great potential.

    • poetvix profile image

      poetvix 6 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

      I found this to be totally hilarious for its truth, its wit, and its ability to be related to by all of us. That’s hard enough to accomplish in paragraph formatting but as a poem, it is much more so. Hubtastic!

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Writer20: I am glad you enjoyed it. The words flowed out of utter frustration hahaha.

    • writer20 profile image

      Joyce Haragsim 6 years ago from Southern Nevada

      This is usually funny from you. Great reading and a good laugh. Thanks.

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @SubRon7: Thank you my friend for stopping by and sharing your personal experience with me. I know that success doesn't come easy, it is just that sometimes I feel bad that my well-though and well-planned hubs and articles didn't get much of the readership as I think they would have deserved. I've seen tremendous hubs out there but only to be forgotten after a while, as it didn't have much readers and viewers.

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Ghaelach: I guess you are right, but as always, a little money doesn't hurt any one, it only keeps you motivated. I am in love with writing and I'll keep writing; conveying my thoughts wrapped up in the beautiful arrangement of words :)

      I am for the stories and novels too, I hope everybody will like them as well :)

    • SubRon7 profile image

      James W. Nelson 6 years ago from eastern North Dakota

      Very funny poetry, Hunbbel. I don't know what to say to assuage your waning confidence, except to speak of my own experience. I have been writing for 35 years, have been rejected by publishers and magazines at least 500 times, but I have been learning, and I have found that the "reading" public does not agree with the "powers that be" in the official publishing world. You have to follow your own heart, Hunbbel, but just know (and I "know" you know) that success does not come easy.

    • profile image

      Ghaelach 6 years ago

      Hi Hunbbel Meer.

      If it wasn't so funny i could cry.

      I'm not stupid or dumb but i gave up with all that stuff a while back and just got on with doing what i like and thats writing stories.

      I never did get the hang of filling out the forms never mind making money.

      Just get on and do your own thing and blow all those that are making money out off you.

      LOL Ghaelach