Survival Guide: Zombie Apocalypse

If you are reading this, then obviously you are catching up on your bathroom literature or the Zombie Apocalypse is really upon us. So with that being said, you could also use this guide to prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse, if it isn't already here (which it is).

In this guide I will explain how to kill a zombie, what to do if bitten or infected by a zombie, the best places to hold up when faced with a Zombie Apocalypse, and go over the list of supplies you should aquire in preperation of an outbreak.

The Zombie Apocalypse should not be taken lightly and although the idea may be off-the-wall or ludicrous, if a Zombie outbreak really did happen, your whole life would change if not end completely.

Preperation is the key to surviving the Zombie onslaught, so there are some basic things you will need to last and survive. Nobody really knows how long this kind of disaster could last so you will never have enough of any of the basic survival supplies you are going to want to get your hands on.

First of all, and most importantly, is a place to hold out. An underground bunker would be perfect, especially if it is made of reinforced steel and has plenty of ventilation. Speaking of ventilation, you will want an air purification system and possibly a reserve of oxygen. Include in this bunker a generator, for powering your ventilation system.

A stockpile of food, water, vitamins, and medicine is also essential. A water purification system will also be needed for emergency cases and for purifying rain for drinking. You can never have enough food or water. All food should be canned an nonperishable. You will not be cooking, so make sure all foods are ready to be eaten, and packed with vitamins. Medicine and medical supplies are also very important. Multiple first-aid kit supplies such as sutures, bandages, splints, aniseptics, and even surgical tools may come in handy and save your life. That goes double for antibiotics, pain medications, and any medicines you would need for pre-existing conditions.

If you are going to protect yourself from the living dead, you will need plenty of weapons. Guns are amazing protection from zombies but ammo runs out sooner or later, so have plenty of ammo stockpiled. Don't forget to save at least one bullet for yourself, in case that situation does arise. A better choice for defending your self against a zombie takeover is blunt objects and blades. Machetes, swords, scythes, anything made of steel or iron that can be used for taking out the brain. We will get to the "brains" part in a minute.

You will need a communications system to attemp rescue and keep up to date if radio broadcasts are being made. An AM/FM radio is essential for keeping up to date. Have a cell phone and charger and also a HAMM radio for searching for help. Make at least several attempts in a day to make contact with the outside world. Afterall, who is going to know your'e in there and need help if you aren't asking for it? Better yet, how are you going to know when it's safe to come out of your little hole?

Zombies are among one of the most dangerous of all natural disasters. They congregate in masses and are very weak alone, but in numbers they are ridiculously strong and are capable of destroying many types of protective barriers and simple structures likes sheds and barns.

They are dead and infested with disease, but can be avoided easily because they are slow and stupid. Killing a zombie is as easy as destroying its brain. It doesnt matter how you kill the brain. Just do it. Drop a piano on it. Shoot it, stab it, blow it up for all sakes. Just take out the brain. It is the only way!

The possibility of being bitten or scratched by a zombie is very high. It is the Zombie Apocalypse, isn't it? If this were to happen on a limb, it would be as easy as removing the limb by amputation. That is where the surgical tools would come in.

If you are bitten by a zombie in a place that cannot be amputated, there is only one way to assure you do not become one of them. That' where the last bullet comes in. If you didn't save a bullet for yourself, find something to do the trick before you turn.

(This Survival Guide is completely fictional and is not meant to treat, prevent, or diagnose any medical condition, especially a Zombie Infection. It does not gaurantee your survival either. In the event a Zombie Apocalypse does happen, run like hell. It's every man for himself!)