The Better Side of Grief
The Better Side of Grief
To all those who have lost a loved one, my deepest sympathy. I hope this letter written in honor of my husband's memory has a healing effect on you today as it has for me. It's true what they say, there's always a silver lining at the end of every tragedy or even the usual downswings life can present, for I have discovered mine through the pain caused by the loss of my husband. My prayers for peace found in the process of your journey through grief!
My dearest husband,
it’s been fifteen months since
you passed into the spirit world.
Last time I counted fifteen months for anything
was when our youngest boy had reached that age.
Now he’s twenty three
and you would be so proud of him and our oldest.
Well, I had one of those crying spells today.
At least they’re coming fewer and farther in between.
Some days, I just wish I could end this pain
and leave this world to be with you,
but then I come to my senses.
I know how much I'm needed here.
I’m reading an uplifting book, Conversations with God, by Neale Donald Walsch.
In it, God says: Grief is a natural emotion.
It’s that part of you which allows you to say goodbye
when you don’t want to say goodbye.
When you’re allowed to express your grief, you get rid of it.
Grief that is continually repressed becomes chronic depression.
People have killed because of chronic depression, wars have started, nations fallen!
Such wise words He speaks! You recognize wisdom when you hear it even though
you're not there yet.
Anyway, I don’t know if I would be on this path of knowing Him better,
that is, if it weren’t for this wrenching grief I own.
Though, I must tell you, the good news is that it has opened my heart
and God has ignited many new pathways for me,
to see His truth
feel His love
sense His peace,
and grow my own spirit.
I am wiser for it, and have made leaps spiritually,
but then you know that!
I feel your love inside my soul and your presence all around me
every day and every night, guiding
and watching over me and our boys.
I want you to know how grateful I am for that.
My grief is only another expression of my love for you.
And when this pain finally fades away, my love for you will only continue
to grow stronger because I will be stronger for having survived this fate
of mine and yours,
and our sons who lost the best dad ever.
Promise to take care of yourself
and I will do the same until our joyous reunion
some day on the other side!