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The Better Side of Grief

Updated on June 25, 2020
Fossillady profile image

Kathi writes about fossils and other earthly subjects, plus the natural history of Michigan, poetry, and more.

The Better Side of Grief

To all those who have lost a loved one, my deepest sympathy. I hope this letter written in honor of my husband's memory has a healing effect on you today as it has for me. It's true what they say, there's always a silver lining at the end of every tragedy life presents. I have discovered mine through the pain caused by the loss of my husband. My prayers for peace found in the process of your journey through grief!

My dearest husband,

it’s been fifteen months since

you passed into the spirit world

Last time I counted fifteen months for anything

was when our youngest boy had reached that age

Now he’s twenty three

and you would be so proud of him and our oldest, too

Well, I had one of those crying spells today

At least they’re coming fewer and farther in between

Some days, I just wish I could end this pain

and leave this world to be with you,

but then I come to my senses

I know how much I'm needed here

I’m reading an uplifting book, Conversations with God, by Neale Donald Walsch

In it, God says, "Grief is a natural emotion

It’s that part of you which allows you to say goodbye

when you don’t want to say goodbye

When you’re allowed to express your grief, you get rid of it

Grief that is continually repressed becomes chronic depression

People have killed because of chronic depression, wars have started, nations fallen"

Such wise words He speaks

You recognize wisdom when you hear it even though you're not there yet

Anyway, I don’t know if I would be on this path of knowing Him better,

that is, if it weren’t for this wrenching grief I own

Though, I must tell you, the good news is that it has opened my heart

and God has ignited many new pathways for me

to see His truth

feel His love

sense His peace

and grow my own soul

I am wiser for it, and have made leaps spiritually,

but then you know that

I feel your love inside my soul and your presence all around me

every day and every night, guiding us

watching over me and our boys

I want you to know how grateful I am for that

My grief is only another expression of my love for you

And as this pain continues to fade, my love for you will only continue

to grow stronger because I will be stronger for having survived this fate

of mine and yours,

and our sons who lost the best dad ever

Promise to take care of yourself

and I will do the same until our joyous reunion

some day on the other side

© 2011 Kathi Mirto


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    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      12 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Hi Kathi. Days are now passing that I am not crying. It takes time. We were so close. Not a day passed that we didn't talk, although he lived in Arkansas. Like I said before, " I will see him again in heaven. " Thanks again for your friendship. Hugs.

    • Fossillady profile imageAUTHOR

      Kathi Mirto 

      12 months ago from Fennville

      OMG Ruby, how tragic to lose a son and especially to cancer! I'm so sorry to hear of this! I pray in time that you find comfort and peace, my dear friend!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      12 months ago from Southern Illinois

      I'm sitting here, tears overflowing. I lost my son Jackie in 2019 from cancer. Not a day passes that I don't cry, although I'm thankful he's free of the heartbreaking pain. I know he's in heaven with so many loved ones. God bless you and your boys. Take care my long time Hubville friend.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      It looks like an interesting book (Conversations with God). I'm a New Age philosopher but it seems like it has valuable stuff to say nevertheless.

    • Fossillady profile imageAUTHOR

      Kathi Mirto 

      8 years ago from Fennville

      Helen, thank you for your kind comment. It's more appreciated than you know! Kathi xo

      Hi Midge . . . Every time one of my hub friends stops by this particular poem I feel a spark of healing! Thank you so much for that today! xo

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 

      8 years ago from Singapore

      Kathi, I somehow missed this one and am thankful that I saw it today! A passionate, loving, yet tender write. Kudos, Kathi. Sharing.

    • brightforyou profile image

      Helen Lewis 

      8 years ago from Florida

      Honest, tender, intimate and like you, beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart's deepest pain in such a lovely, positive way :-) ... many blessings xx Helen

    • Fennelseed profile image

      Annie Fenn 

      9 years ago from Australia

      I don't know how I missed this beautiful poem. It is so pure and honest and provides so much comfort to anyone grieving the loss of a loved one.

      Last night my daugthers and I sat down with the intention of writing thank you notes to those who attended our farewell service for our boy. It's been eight months and it feels like yesterday. We didn't get very far and ended up crying in each others arms again. We agreed however that the opportunity to express our grief openly with each other was far more important than writing those letters. The letters can wait.

      I love the way you say of grief..."It’s that part of you which allows you to say goodbye when you don’t want to say goodbye," and while grief can be very debilitating at times, it is also a release to be able to express it freely.

      Your tribute is beautiful and the love between you and your husband transcends the realms, a powerful eternal connection.

      Thank you for sharing these personal words that provide so much healing comfort to all who read them.

    • Fossillady profile imageAUTHOR

      Kathi Mirto 

      9 years ago from Fennville

      Thank you dearly Denise!

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      Kathi-this is beautiful...what a lovely tribute. One will never forget a love that is deep. YOur poem reflects this. God Bless.

    • Fossillady profile imageAUTHOR

      Kathi Mirto 

      10 years ago from Fennville

      Oh Audrey, I'm so sorry about your big brother! He gave you a huge gift when he said he would be meeting Todd! I hope you found comfort in that! Wouldn't it be nice to get a visit from the other side some time after they meet! I do believe in that, even more so after recently reading "Hello from Heaven" by Bill and Judy Guggenheim who did a seven year research on after death visits.

      I especially want to thank you for bringing me back here today cause it resulted in getting myself out of my head and back into my heart. Sometimes the stresses in life have that effect on us!

      I have nothing but compassion for you right now! It must be like reliving Todd's death all over again! I send you my warmest wishes and blessings! I never received a personal rainbow before and it makes me want to smile so I want to do the same for you! You have uplifted me with your beautiful heart! A big hug to you dear lady!

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 

      10 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

      As I sit here, knowing that my older, precious big brother is preparing to leave this world, I have found a source of comfort in your poem, Kathi. I was able to talk to him for just a minute, and he assured me that he would be meeting my son, Todd, very soon now.

      You are one of the best women I have ever met. Your attitude, shows forth it's loving face within the lines of your poem.

      I send you a hug and I send you your own personal rainbow. Thank you, Kathi.

    • Fossillady profile imageAUTHOR

      Kathi Mirto 

      10 years ago from Fennville

      Well for not knowing what to say you surely warmed my heart with your kind words! The spirit led me to this book, it's called Conversations with God, an uncommon dialogue by Neale Donald Walsch. You can find in on line or Barnes and Noble. There are a series of three! Blessings to you

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      I don't know what to say except beautiful , I've got to find that book. Thank you for this and bless you for the absolute beauty of these words. You are a gift to us all!!! Be well.

    • Fossillady profile imageAUTHOR

      Kathi Mirto 

      10 years ago from Fennville

      I'm so sorry for your recent losses so close together. We will be grieving the rest of our lives, but hopefully in time the pain will fade! I am just now starting to feel like it wasn't just yesterday and it's been sixteen months. I'm glad you found some comfort in my poem and that it touched your heart. You have touched mine with your reply! I will be praying for you! The book that I'm reading came to me in a divine way and I really do believe it's the voice of our maker. God bless you

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      This was beautiful and spoke deep comfort into my heart. I lost both my mother and my sister within four weeks of each other this past Fall. I know where they both are and that one day there will be that reunion you spoke of, with them and the many others who have gone on before me, but I'm still grieving the loss of their physical presences. I like the quote from Conversations with God. I have never read that book but will now. Thanks for sharing this part of yourself with the rest of us.

    • Beberlee profile image


      10 years ago from Philadelphia

      love this poem ...

    • Fossillady profile imageAUTHOR

      Kathi Mirto 

      10 years ago from Fennville

      Hi Healing Touch, good to see you, I appreciate your comment and especially the very last sentence! Bless you

    • Healing Touch profile image

      Laura Arne 

      10 years ago from Minnetonka, MN


      I am deeply touched by this heartfelt poem. Grief is felt by all of us. It is nice to support each other in this human condition. I have lost many. You will be together again.

    • Fossillady profile imageAUTHOR

      Kathi Mirto 

      10 years ago from Fennville

      So sorry about your Dad! I know he's watching over you! Bless you

    • mannyrolando profile image


      10 years ago

      This is beautiful Fossillady... and it made me stop and think about my Dad... Thanks for sharing.

    • Fossillady profile imageAUTHOR

      Kathi Mirto 

      10 years ago from Fennville

      thank you Katie, I really appreciate your kind words!

    • katiem2 profile image

      Katie McMurray 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      So beautiful and you are in such a good place, peace continue to be with you! :) Katie

    • Fossillady profile imageAUTHOR

      Kathi Mirto 

      10 years ago from Fennville

      Hello toknow, your understanding has brought me warmth today. thank you so very kindly! bless you

    • toknowinfo profile image


      10 years ago

      Hi Fossillady,

      Beautiful hub. Your words have touched my heart and my soul. I can feel your pain through your poetry and I wish I had more than words to offer you. Keep writing as often as you need to express your feelings. When I wrote my hub about losing my mother, you and many other hubbers brought me great comfort through the warm and sincere comments I received. It seems like you are getting that too, and I hope it helps you through these difficult times. May each day bring you a little more peace, a little less pain, and the great strength to gain pleasure again in the smallest and biggest of things in life. May your husband's memory be for a blessing for you and your sons, and may happier and better times be in your future. All the best. (rated up and beautiful)

    • Fossillady profile imageAUTHOR

      Kathi Mirto 

      10 years ago from Fennville

      b. Your kind words have soothed my soul! I'll probably read it over and over cause its just what I needed to hear! Thank you

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 

      10 years ago

      Oh Fossillady, I know that the two of you must have been soul mates...He is probably so proud of you and the boys, and is looking down with love on all of you. Beautifully written Hub...thanks so much for sharing this side of your life...It's sad to read, but also very inspirational as well.

    • Fossillady profile imageAUTHOR

      Kathi Mirto 

      10 years ago from Fennville

      I understand and it's frustrating when you get behind! My prayers and thanks for the blessing. We have a common bond Ruby and I always look forward to your visits and when I see you on other hubs! Stay Well!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      10 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I just attended a funeral yesterday for a nephew. He was 61, so sad. I haven't been able to read or respond to anything on HP, maybe in a few days .GOD BLESS

    • Fossillady profile imageAUTHOR

      Kathi Mirto 

      10 years ago from Fennville

      prasetio, Colin, AA and Micky, All you wonderful men have touched my soul very deeply today.I can read through the lines on the pages of the hub how caring each of you are. Your kindness has given me another step forward toward healing! I appreciate it very much! Hugs!

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 

      10 years ago

      Very awesomely beautiful. God bless you!

    • A.A. Zavala profile image

      Augustine A Zavala 

      10 years ago from Texas

      Moving to tribute to your late husband. Thank you for sharing.

    • epigramman profile image


      10 years ago

      ...well this is so incredibly moving - I lost my two best friends - my mum and dad - so I too know about loss - and being all alone in this world is not a very nice feeling - but the better side of life and hubpages is I had the privilege of meeting someone as special and talented as you ...... and this is a blessing in our lives .......

    • prasetio30 profile image


      10 years ago from malang-indonesia

      Wow.... this is so great and beautiful. I never underestimate your ability to make such of this poem. I give my thumbs up for you. You made my day so beautiful after reading your poem. God bless you.

      Love and peace, prasetio

    • Fossillady profile imageAUTHOR

      Kathi Mirto 

      10 years ago from Fennville

      Thank you tnderhrt "the lady of expression" appreciate your visit and heart felt comment!

      damian, been working on one of those creepy crawly fossil hubs coming soon! Thanks for your support

    • tnderhrt23 profile image


      10 years ago

      fossillady, I felt this one deeply. a beautiful expression of love, of grief, of growth.

    • damian0000 profile image


      10 years ago from Belfast

      Good to see you too fossillady, be strong cos you are needed here --- i want some more nice hubs about millipedes and creepy-crawlies :-)

    • Fossillady profile imageAUTHOR

      Kathi Mirto 

      10 years ago from Fennville

      Thank you acer, you have a kind heart

      damian, good to see you, thank you for your touching thoughts

    • damian0000 profile image


      10 years ago from Belfast

      what a beautiful poem... i have known plenty of grief myself so i won't say any cliches to you fossillady but this is really a beautiful poem, i am moved

    • Mentalist acer profile image

      Mentalist acer 

      10 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

      A beautiful exhalation Fossillady.;)


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