Sweet Sleeps Dreams

These three letters were written in 1993 before I had met my wife, Glenda. But I knew that God would bring her to me. So, I prayed for her long before I knew her. I prayed for her as a teen ager before '93. In fact, my parents prayed for her even before I was born. This would have been at a time before Glenda was even in existence, except in the mind of God. This is one of the amazing things about prayer. We pray to a God that is not limited by time and space. And so, our prayers can reach beyond time and space as well to reach those that we cannot reach ourselves. But God can.

 A word on the art on this Hub.  These examples are "corner art."  This means that they appeared on the corner of each page where I wrote these letters.  I know that some people (even well meaning Christians) look the art of my young adult life and think that it is even "evil" because of the dragons.  While my taste in subject matter has matured considerably since I was a teen and young adult, I do not think there is anything immoral in these little reptile pictures.  They are not renderings of real reptiles . . . purely the product of my wild imagination.

I go in sleep to dreams of you.

And as the mists of sleep gather about my eyes, shapes and sounds play out their roles in my mind's stage.

Of all the well known, and unknown faces I see, it is your visage that stands out to me.

As my mind has made suggestions as to who and what you are, I cannot stay myself from exulting in my sleep's memories, or fearing the sleep's nightmares.

I know that in my shifting sleep it is not truly you.

And I sorrow for the sweet words or glances that as I dreamt seemed so real.

For I long with this desire: that in waking, I could know you with the same familiarity that I do my sleep's dreams.

by Andrew Grosjean 1993

You do not yet know me, but one day you shall. For even in this temporal distance we are bound together. For God knows that I am for you and you are for me.

I am not what I should be. This I know. I am not, for all my desires, and for all my practices, any more noble than any other diseased wretch that you may see. I am like any other man that you might find. I am frail, faltering, and fallen. Am I any better than anyone else? By my own sin I have been crushed and my very body ravaged. So, what do I have to offer you?

Nothing.

But God knows what will happen and what He can do with the broken pieces of my life. As I lay here with no power of my own, I have spent what little I ever had. But I humble myself before the High God and once more consecrate myself for what service He may choose for this ravaged vessel.

I make you this promise, lovely one whose soul I do not yet know, I will live. I will live to fulfill the responsibilities that God will put on me for you. I love you already.

by Andrew Grosjean 11-11-93

I love you with more than all of my heart. Most people say, "I love you with all my heart." But I cannot do this. For I must give my heart to God. Some will give God part of their heart. Then they give another part to a lover, another part to the family, another part to a hobby. But I cannot separate my heart. God demands it all.

But as I give my whole heart to God, He pours His eternal love into me. This is greater than me. I cannot contain this love. I must pour it out on others. So, I give you all the love He pours into me. It is more than I could ever stir up myself. I give it to you, my family, my friends, to my foes. . . to all. This love He gives is more powerful than my love could be. It is more intense. It is more mighty than human imagination can comprehend. It binds me to you in ways that no schemer could begin to dissolve. It will endure past the pouring out of my personal power. It will endure as long as God Himself. For it is His love.

You see, I love you with more than all of my heart.

by Andrew Grosjean 1993

What is My Life?

            All my life is but vanity.  What are my journeys?  Of what consequence are my postulates and questions?

            Life without love is not truly living.

I am crippled, not only in body, but in soul.  I am weakened in spirit.

How am I truly better off than any other wretch that is called human?  I have my art.  I have my mind.  I have my reason.  But what of it?  I am playing a grand game of which I hope to one day be a winner.  The game is life.  The hope is grown from a promise that I can never dare to doubt.  But at this moment I am still in pain.  It is not a sharp pain.  It is an ache.  It is an ache in my side.  It is something missing, like a rib that I am missing . . . without which I am incomplete.  It is a love that I seek.  Not just any lady, my lady.  She is the part of my life that is not here.  She is out there, somewhere, the one that will fit me perfectly.  It is not enough to just have a woman.  It is one and only one that I seek.  Without a name, without a face, I am already in love with her.  I pray for her.  And with my prayers, I touch her now.  I wrap my arms around her with my petitions to God, and will until I can do so with these arms of flesh and blood, muscle and bone.  My God is the answer to my vanity.  In my emptiness, He gives me fullness until He brings me that lady for whom I pray.  She will be His gift to fulfill that hollow place in my side.

by Andrew Grosjean

This was written about a year before I met my wife. She came into my life and by her, God brought much healing to my soul. But one thing that God had to teach me before bringing her into my life was that I needed to find all my peace in God. When I did, He brought her to me.

APG

www.pastorandrew.ws