That Man in the Mirror
I haven't been me that last couple of hours . Have been on a chair just thinking. Thinking whether am still someone you'd think about, thinking if the crazy stuff I did are worth you thinking bout them...
.. Am loosing myself in some dreams that are making my head hurt. Just a while ago I had this memory of you smiling at me and I almost broke down into tears, then another memory of you crying with your head on my chest and my heart almost busted outta my chest...
...
Alot is what I never said when I had all the time and space in the world to do so, I didn't even think about writing it down . I know I have made you believe that it was nothing, and just like a fling I made it look like it didn't matter in the first place.
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The truth is that am torn apart, am beat, am broken, am not who you see ,I don't even know who I think I am. There's this blank space deep within me that have tried to scribble with new stuff but it won't fill.. .. Outside me is a happy me, inside me demons are sipping away every last sip of happiness I thought I would ever have.
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.. It's not that I never believed in destiny, fairytales or fate, I was just too worried to let myself down, to let my heart ache. I did exactly that, I broke myself.
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.. I go to bed wishing that dawn just poofs up the next second, when it's dawn I'll be wishing that nightfall poofs up just the very next second all because I got nothing to live for, nobody to look out for.. Nothing to wait on... .. I lost meaning and sense the moment that door went shut.
. .
That man in the mirror in the mirror hurt me, all he did was look at me like the looser I really am... He took me to places I never wanted to go back to... And all he could do is stare at me like the grim reaper...
Making me cry....
"happy times were just happy times " said the man in the mirror. ..
...
.... Inkmade. ™
© 2019 Amani Utembu