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That Man in the Mirror

Updated on March 2, 2019
Amani Utembu profile image

Amani is a university student who loves writing. I have been writing since I was twelve. I love writing.

I haven't been me that last couple of hours . Have been on a chair just thinking. Thinking whether am still someone you'd think about, thinking if the crazy stuff I did are worth you thinking bout them...

.. Am loosing myself in some dreams that are making my head hurt. Just a while ago I had this memory of you smiling at me and I almost broke down into tears, then another memory of you crying with your head on my chest and my heart almost busted outta my chest...
...
Alot is what I never said when I had all the time and space in the world to do so, I didn't even think about writing it down . I know I have made you believe that it was nothing, and just like a fling I made it look like it didn't matter in the first place.
..
The truth is that am torn apart, am beat, am broken, am not who you see ,I don't even know who I think I am. There's this blank space deep within me that have tried to scribble with new stuff but it won't fill.. .. Outside me is a happy me, inside me demons are sipping away every last sip of happiness I thought I would ever have.
.....
.. It's not that I never believed in destiny, fairytales or fate, I was just too worried to let myself down, to let my heart ache. I did exactly that, I broke myself.
...
.. I go to bed wishing that dawn just poofs up the next second, when it's dawn I'll be wishing that nightfall poofs up just the very next second all because I got nothing to live for, nobody to look out for.. Nothing to wait on... .. I lost meaning and sense the moment that door went shut.
. .
That man in the mirror in the mirror hurt me, all he did was look at me like the looser I really am... He took me to places I never wanted to go back to... And all he could do is stare at me like the grim reaper...
Making me cry....

"happy times were just happy times " said the man in the mirror. ..
...
.... Inkmade. ™

© 2019 Amani Utembu

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