THAT WAS THE WEEK, THAT WAS...by b. Malin
A FUNNY WEEK...
First off I gotta say, "I Love You GUY'S, my Fellow "Hubbers". You make it Fun to Laugh at myself through the Comments you leave...And this was one LAUGHABLE week in Sunny Florida. So here's the Instant Replay.
On Monday we got our "Verizon" Cell Phone Bill, it was $350.00! Lover Man and I go, "What the _ _ _ _! That night we decide to call Verizon. The conversation went like this. "Hello, my name is "Charles" how may I help you"? (Me) putting "Charles" on speaker phone. "Hi, Charles, we just got our Verizon Bill and this can't possibly be all ours, maybe it's somebody else's combined...there's at least (2) 800 numbers that we know are not ours". Charles clears his throat, "they are all yours, they come from your cell phone" he replies dryly. "No there NOT Charles"..."Yes, THEY ARE...you'll have to buy more minutes to cover your overage, that's the best I can do" he said, I swear he sounds like he's snickering.
"Listen CHARLES, we've been Good Verizon customers for at least 10 years" he cuts me off with "That's true, but you still have to pay the bill, and I'll allow you to buy Extra minutes, because you are also going to be over Next Months Billing as well"...I swear he is now SMILING Triumphantly through the phone. "WHAT I say, starting to loose it...how can we be"? "I don't know, that's for you to figure out...now, what will it be some ExtraMinutes, Mmm"? "No it won't be, I say, let me speak to your Manager". "I am the Manager, the night manager" he replies. "Fine, then we are going to go over every single number listed to determine who made these calls" I reply. "Fine he answers, have a nice night, and Thank you for using Verizon". Up yours Phone Company I think to myself as we hang up.
The next day we called back and spoke to a young Lady named, "Jodi". She listens quietly as I tell her about the phone bill. She replies, "You guys have been Loyal Verizon Customers, so let's see what I can do for you". I'm thinking "I Love you Jodi, oh yes I do..." We are both silent for a moment, and then Jodi says. "First I will take $50.00 off the current bill of $350.00 we really can't count who made those (2) 800 numbers phone calls"..."Oh Thank You Jodi, thank you" I reply sincerely. "Next, she says, how about paying an Extra $10.00 to buy more minutes so that you won't be over next billing cycle, because as of today, you are". I say, "yes, yes" and then I explain that while in Florida we only use our Cell phones, and with buying the Condo with the View and all...there may have been more calls than usual". She tells me that once you go over your minutes, it becomes 45 cents per minute! "Aha I reply, who knew". "I know, I know", she replies almost soothingly. "You won't have to sign a new contract, so if you find you want to keep the extra minutes, it will cost just another $10.00 a month".
I thank her, and think, I'd bake her a Cake...If I baked. So instead I just say humbly, "Thank you Jodi, and we promise to be more careful, calling nights after nine and weekends because they are Free, and to limit them during the day". She Laughs as she says, "Thank you for Choosing Verizon, and your Loyalty". I LOVE Her!
The next morning, are you ready for this...CHARLES calls, he is FURIOUS! "Jodi had No Business taking $50.00 off our current bill and HE PERSONALLY was putting in back on! "Oh NO you're NOT Charles" I say my voice rising. "OH YES I AM" he answers his voice rising above mine. "You do Charles and we are so outta here...No More Verizon for Us! And, I will be in touch with your Supervisor" I say. He screams, "I AM THE SUPERVISOR"! Well then ACT like One, I say calmly, if it weren't for Jodi, we would No longer be Verizon Customers...and now to add Insult to Energy... you are using up my precious Verizon Minutes". "All right, all right, I'm going to allow this $50.00 to stay off your bill, but in the future...and he goes on to Rant, and I say "ok, ok," and then Charles ends it with, "Thank You for choosing Verizon", and then we part with a Click of the phone. As I think for now, Verizon, for now.
The rest of the week went like this...The "Contractor" that was supposed to work on the "Condo with the View" is now suing the "Electrician" for he found out not only was he trying to RIP Us Off by saying that the Permit cost $500.00! When in reality it cost $75.00 at the most. But he wanted us to meet him at an address that used to house the Permit Dept. And we should make the check out to him. Well that wasn't going to happen...And when we told the Contractor, who told his wife, they looked into their books, and realized they too had been Ripped off for many years by the "Electrician". And so as the week came to an end, the Contractor contacted his Lawyer. And we are now interviewing a new Contractor and Electrician! I really couldn't make this stuff up!
Lover Man and I took a break today down at the pool, and as we looked across the "Inter Costal" to the other side, we saw a dog happily barking and wearing a Red Sweater...Hey, it's Florida Guys, it's Florida!