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THE STRING BIKINI MAN...by b. Malin

Updated on March 11, 2011
String Bikini Man...Photo by Stephan
String Bikini Man...Photo by Stephan

THANK HEAVEN FOR...STRING BIKINIS!

I went down to the Pool today, and there stood this Man...

This defiant looking Man, wearing Dark Shades,

And not much else on...Except for a Black Silk String Bikini!

It was Barely, just Barely, holding his Manhood in Place.

The Women, Oh the Women sitting around the Pool,

Were Fanning themselves, beads of Sweat were forming.

One looked like she was starting to Drool...

While two others quickly jumped into the Pool!

The Men, Oh the Men, looked in Distaste...

As they tried, Oh how they tried, to suck in their Waists.

All the while Bikini Man just stood his ground and stared.

I wondered what it would look like Wet...Dripping Wet.

He must have read my thoughts, for he jumped in the Pool.

He swam back and forth...He really looked Cool.

And then he emerged from the Pool...

No one made a Sound, as they looked down,

At the Black Silk String Bikini...Still intact,

But Barely, just Barely, Holding his Manhood in Place.

With his Head held high he looked up at the Sky,

As he walked back to the Umbrella, whistling.

He put his Dark Shades back on...

Struck his pose, and Life went on.





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    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 6 years ago from Minnesota

      Is this bikini man a fictional character? I say good for him to have the confidence. You did a great job on this hilarious poem. I love the picture!!

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      He was real

      He was also six years old. :-)

    • arb profile image

      arb 6 years ago from oregon

      I'm still cracking up at the picture. Well, good for bikini man; slower than a speeding bullet and unable to leap tall buildings, proved women still care about the little things!

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 6 years ago

      Having traveled to St. Martin for 20 years I can say with certainty that String Bikini man would be considered overdressed!

    • Truckstop Sally profile image

      Truckstop Sally 6 years ago

      Fun hub! I don't know much about mens' swimsuits and the cost, but I am always amazed at the price of womens' swim -- and for so little material. My sister and I were suit shopping some years ago. We told the clerk -- make us long taller, thinner, and younger. She responded, "You're asking a lot from such a small piece of fabric." Ha!

    • thebluestar profile image

      Annette Donaldson 6 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Oh dear I think I might faint, such a sight is a sight indeed. I could do with a laugh. String bikinis and hairy bums omg put me off my dinner lol Fun poem, bring us more.

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Minnetonka Twin, He was the Real Deal, and with his Permission, My Husband was able to Photograph him. Thanks for enjoying, so glad you thought it was Hilarious!

      No Will, he was not that guy!

      But Arb, we really don't know that he couldn't do all that...And I'm sure the Women had great dreamsl that night! Thanks for seeing the humor of it all!

      Breakfastpop, you are so Perceptive, in my interview with him, to get permission for this Hub, he told me he was a Nudist, goes on many Nude Cruises...etc.

      Truckstop Sally So glad you enjoyed my Fun Hub, loved your funny comments too!

      Bluestar, I'm so glad I could make you Laugh...Thanks for Enjoying!

    • profile image

      Cheryl Kapelner-Champ 6 years ago

      Very cute*! What a variety we are our "hu man" specie!

      Mother Lightning

      of[thepeacegarden.blogspot.com]

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Thanks Cheryl, and how true your words are, we certainly do come in all shapes and sizes!

    • profile image

      shygirl2 6 years ago

      lol! Good description of bikini man. I could envision it all. For once it is not about us women, huh? : )

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      That's right Shygirl...when I saw it, I just had to explore it!

    • Fossillady profile image

      Kathi 6 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

      My goodness, you sure have fun around that pool!!! lol

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      I never know what I'm going to see at the Pool...Yes, it is Fun and gives me a Fun Hub to write about...A win, win, situation! Thanks for stoping by Fossilady.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 6 years ago

      ..well I love your sense of humor - but I was kinda wishing to see you in a string bikini so as you could imagine - lol lol - the epi-man left here a tad disappointed - but never so with your writing - it's witty, charming, clever and just so - you!!!!!!! (and that's a very good thing indeed!)

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Ah, thanks Colin, I still look pretty, pretty good in a one piece, but a String Bikini...I don't think so, not in this life time...Thanks for enjoying!

    • mslizzee profile image

      elizabeth 6 years ago from Buncombe County, NC

      This is hysterically funny. You must giggle a lot at your house.

      Lizzee

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Well, I do see a lot of Humor to Life and this guy was a Great Sport about posing...and then I built this Hub around Him...Thanks Lizzee for sharing my sense of Humor!

    • sligobay profile image

      sligobay 6 years ago from east of the equator

      Great one piece Hub. You must spend a lot of time at the pool. Voted up and funny.

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      I do, but not to Sunbath...I love to swim, get my exercise...We go back North at the end of the Month...However, the things I see there and the conversations are my creative juices for some fun Hubs. Thanks for voting this one up and funny!

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 6 years ago from Arlington, TX

      The title brought me here and boy was I in for a surprise. Too funny!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Thanks Frog Prince, so glad you liked my humor...it's all in good FUN!

    • agaglia profile image

      agaglia 6 years ago

      funny and a good story.

      thanks.

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Thanks Agaglia, Thanks for enjoying!

    • L a d y f a c e profile image

      L a d y f a c e 5 years ago from Canada

      Holy yeti of the Serengeti that was hilarious! I'm laughing! Thanks for a great afternoon lift.

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      So Glad I made you Laugh Ladyface...It was an "Hilarious" afternoon and I needed to capture it in this Poem, so glad I succeeded!

    • IntimatEvolution profile image

      Julie Grimes 5 years ago from Columbia, MO USA

      You're awesome!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      Thank you so much Intimat, so glad you find me Awesome...that is so appreciated!

    • Hyphenbird profile image

      Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

      My eyes! My eyes! Oh, I must find some saline and wash them. AAAAHHHHH.

      Sadly, I have seen it before on the beaches. Then again, I guess he thinks if people have nothing better to look at, he will give them an eyeful. What a great and fun poem you have written.

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 5 years ago

      I say all the power to him, if woman can go bare breasted, so be it a man can wear a string, now all ya gotta do is pull his string and watch him do his thing. LOL loved your poem and a tribute to the string bikini man, long may he have many colors to choose from, but it don't look like he was blushing red...some of the ladies may have been though. lol

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      Saddlerider let me just say, Those Ladies Loved the Sights and probably now have EYE STRAIN...but there is a Smile upon there Faces! So glad you enjoyed this tale...String Bikini is also a Nudist!

      Hi Hyphenbird, actually I'm for Live and let Live...He really didn't have a bad body and he just oozed Confidence...So glad you thought this poem of mine was Fun...It Was!

    • mottiandbander profile image

      mottiandbander 4 years ago from Chd

      Hahaha...you are too good..i am laughing....

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi Mottlandbander, THANK YOU! It's Good to Laugh...I'll be bye to visit your Hubs too!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi Vechiclereg, I'm so glad you Enjoyed...Actually I knew the "Model"...he's a Good Sport!I I'm now off to visit your Hubs!

    • barbergirl28 profile image

      Stacy Harris 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

      What a funny poem. I tried to convince my husband to get a pair of speedos... I told him he didn't have to wear them in public but at least at home by the pool so we could get rid of his white white legs! He won't agree. Some men just don't have the confidence! Love it!

    • Angela Brummer profile image

      Angela Brummer 4 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

      I needed a smile today this is great I will be sharing!

    • Tallgardener profile image

      Tallgardener 4 years ago from Somerset, UK

      What a picture! I think this look is the way forward, let's see what Ebay has in the way of man-thongs....

    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      What a great poem! Reminds me of g-strings for men :)

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Real men do not wear speedos! That's one of the rules in my "real mean don't" hub! Haha! Funny story! You rock!:)

    • Shawn May Scott profile image

      Shawn May Scott 4 years ago

      Oh... oh my!!!

    • CriticalMessage profile image

      Murphy 4 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

      Are there any other reasons why men should consider how others may see them?... Check the mirror, think about the reactions of others to what is in that mirror... Unless shock value is what he is after ?,, If that's they case... He's getting exactly what he wanted out of it... this was fun !, and unfortunately for my beach loving eyes, all too common... Thank you for the awareness shared and the laugh it generated !

    • bethperry profile image

      Beth Perry 4 years ago from Tennesee

      LOL! So funny!

    • DzyMsLizzy profile image

      Liz Elias 4 years ago from Oakley, CA

      Funny, funny poem--well done, and kudos on finding the subject willing to pose. That's a great shot!

      I don't have a problem with his choice of attire--he was covering up what is "expected" to be covered in public places. He's not showing any more than some women in their string bikinis, after all. There's nothing I detest more than a double standard, and we are SO saddled with them in this country!

      We need to get over our hang-ups about our bodies. Maybe if more people went to nudist camps, we could lose this artificial Victorian pseudo-morality that causes so many problems.

      Voted up funny, interesting and shared.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      OMG! I have no words! You never fail to make me laugh but this is over the top hilarious! The man has no shame! I'm still laughing! Great hub my friend!

    • Beth100 profile image

      Beth100 4 years ago from Canada

      :D Best laugh of the day for me!! Thanks! :)

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 4 years ago

      Hilarious poem! The man looks like he could use a top, too. I needed a laugh, thanks!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi Barbergirl, what a pleasant surprise to see such Traffic at one of my OLDER Hubs, but I'm not complaining...I'm so glad you Enjoyed. My Husband would NEVER wear this bathing attire...But this guy at the pool would, and did...Gotta Love his Confidence!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi Angela, Is this Guy a Good Sport or what...So glad I made you SMILE!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi Tallgardener, This is what makes the World go around...Not everyone can wear a "Man-Thong, so you've got to give him credit!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi Susan, It leaves NOTHING to the imagination...but yet I still found Something to Hub about! I'm so Glad you Enjoyed!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi Sunshine, I know, but this Guy did and was so comfortable in his skin...I'd say "He's a real Man too"! It was a Fun write and he was a Good Sport! Glad I gave you some laughs!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      A few words, like his Man's Thong say's it all! Thanks Shawn May for your Comments!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi Critical Message, I don't think he does it for SHOCK value...I understand he's also a Nudist. So...He can, and does, get away with this...But some men shouldn't! But in the end, pardon the pun, I did make you Laugh!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi Bethperry, Your few words are so appreciated. Thank You!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi DzyMsLizzy, yes, he was willing and able to be a Model for my Hub. Right on with your Comments, and yes, he is a Nudist, so it's no big deal to him. I couldn't be, but I'm not against others expressing themselves...who is it hurting?

      Thanks so much for your Votes, and for sharing.

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi Billybuc, I always feel good when I make you Laugh! The Man has Confidence, and truth be told, he loves being NUDE...So, I'm glad I caught him with his clothes on! Ha, Ha!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi Beth, So Glad I made your Laugh of the Day, what more could this Hub Writer ask for. Laughter is the Best when shared!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi MizBejabbers, Why Thank You. I don't know about a Top...but he certainly Enjoyed being the center of attention...He really was a Good Sport.

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi Naimishika, well I glad to hear you like Women in Bikinis, but not men...that's quite normal...and I'm also so Glad you Enjoyed my Hub!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

      Mailn this was fantastic and the first pose off the wall funny.. man it was worth the visit bless you :)

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi Frank, Why Thank You...It was Fun to Write and all in Good Fun...He was a Sport. I'm so glad you stopped by to read, now I'll be by to visit your Hub too!

    • L.L. Woodard profile image

      L.L. Woodard 4 years ago from Oklahoma City

      If you've got it, flaunt it -- that's what I always say to other people. Good for the fella in having the hutzpah to pose for you. You've captured his moment very nicely.

      Voted up and Shared.

    • Rusticliving profile image

      Elizabeth Rayen 4 years ago from California

      I just about died when I read your poem. I actually had a similar experience, except when the man (And I must say he was a little more blessed in "that area") dove into the pool, he must have hit the water a little too hard. As he emerged from the chlorine swimming vessel... a loud wave of gasps filled the air as approximately 10 women watched as his bright green patch just floated there in the water, glistening majestically! (I on the other hand was not one of the 10 stupid women who watched the "patch") Loved it! Thumbs up Mailin! :)

    • Sharkye11 profile image

      Jayme Kinsey 4 years ago from Oklahoma

      Charming poem! And I love the photo. I say that anyone brave enough, should! This has my vote!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi L.L.

      He really was a Good Sport, and he is a Nudist, so he say's, goes on

      "Nude Cruises"...Yes, he truly Loves his Body...Why Not, I say.

      Thanks for Enjoying... and of course your Comments, and Your Vote, and, Sharing my Hub.

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi Rusticliving,

      Mmmm, wonder if it really was Accidental...Obviously, he liked people to look at his body...Well, maybe NOT his Birthday Suit...Ha, Ha!

      Wonderful Comments, Thanks for Sharing the Laugh, and of course your Vote!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi Sharkey,

      He was a Nice Man, Enjoying the Day...and I'd say, also, Giving Enjoyment to the Females around the pool...They couldn't take their eyes off of him. Thanks for the Compliment and of course, your Vote.

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Lol, this is hilarious! Is he for real? I like your sense of humor neatly penned in here. I actually have seen one in a similar outfit (wider) once in one of the beautiful waters of Cancun, MEX but didn't have the guts to look at him completely ( I was the one embarrassed) much more to take a picture.

      Voted up and funny (of course) and will absolutely share the fun!

    • Happyboomernurse profile image

      Gail Sobotkin 4 years ago from South Carolina

      I would have thought you were hallucinating if Stephan hadn't gotten permission to take the man's photo!!! LOL.

      I loved this funny poem.

      Voted up across the board and shared.

    • NornsMercy profile image

      Chace 4 years ago from Charlotte, NC

      Hilarious to wake up to! :)

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi NornsMercy, So Glad I could start your day off with a SMILE and a Laugh or two...and now I most stop by and visit your Hubs too!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi CrisSP,

      Yes, HE was for real, and was Gracious enough to let us snap his picture...and from there I did the Hub. The man is a Nudist...so for him, it might have been too much in the way of clothing!

      Thanks so much for Enjoying and of course, your Votes.

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi Gail,

      Yes, it was for Real, and really a Good Sport. I'm so Glad you found it all in good Fun, as well as a Funny read... And, of course Thanks, so much for the Votes!

    • John MacNab profile image

      John MacNab 4 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence

      I love it, b. We have a neighbour like your bikini man. My wife looks on in distaste as he cuts the grass practically in the nude. She says it's distaste but I've never, ever seen her 'drooling'' in distaste before. She tends to drool in the same manner when watching policemen walking away from her. Thank you for the Hub.

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi John, Thank You! You are too Funny...I find Life to be one Great Write, so much around to Laugh about. Thanks so much for stopping by, and Commenting.

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