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TYW: Happily Ever After

Updated on February 11, 2013
Happily Ever After -
Happily Ever After - | Source

2/11/13

I wrote this months ago and never published it. I figure it is Feb and this is lovey, what better time to publish. My answer remains the same.

Do I believe in 'Happy Ever After'?

I love having thought provoking friends who ask me questions and talk openly. Although I seem to have many, they are not the norm. I appreciate mine. I am not sure that I ever believed in the 'Happy Ever After' concept in its entirety. I believe only in Happy After... The Ever is the part that I can't stand behind and support. I don't think so highly of myself that I would pretend to be invincible. I have hopes of staying for a long time but even before my life changed in an instant, I knew that we were one of the most delicate beings on the planet. Our problem is that we don't realize it until something happens and even then, if we are lucky enough to get thru it, we get swept up in life and forget our lesson. Ever is a long time. We promise to Love Forever like it is ours to control. Even if I could control forever, I would not want to doom someone to love only me for years after I have left this life before them. If you would love me forever, I would take your oath and cherish it beyond my lifetime but accept new love in my absence. I have used this term with some scarcity but I meant it each time. What I didn't learn until I was an adult is that someone's presence is not a requirement for love and that love is never ending. I do not need to take love from one to give to another. When I chose to love you for always, I really do mean it. It may adjust in levels and take on different forms but it will be with me always as will you. I also learned that sometimes Never is a lot longer than Forever is. I rarely use it at all. This way I do not have to contradict myself.

I believe in Happy After! I believe that, given the time to heal, happy can exist after any big hardship. How much after depends on the person. Some people take a lifetime. Some people never get to understand happiness. They spend there lives chasing it. They link it to everything outside of themselves which leaves them unsatisfied. I can't blame people for believing or thinking that way. We are conditioned to believe that. We are trained from the start of our lives that our happiness depends on something else. Commercialism survives on us thinking this way. It would seem that everything you don't have is exactly what makes you happy but they don't tell you that it is impossible to have everything. If you are overweight your happiness lies in a thinner you. Bigger boobs, straighter teeth, laser hair removal, bigger homes, nicer cars, tanner skin, the newest technology, a better job and clearer skin are all roads to your own utopia... The problem is that the list is never ending and the so called utopia is only found at the very end of it. Besides developing a serious pack-rat issue, I imagine that after years of faithful following, most people would be bored out of their wits when they finally got to utopia because there would be nothing much left to fix. Unless, maybe utopia can be rearranged, redecorated, and upgraded. The issue of fixing things is a whole other issue. We are trained to fix ourselves and others and the lesson is that nobody is ever good enough. Thats how this side of the world works. The illusive american dream that people can get lost in search of. Fix everything about you to be happy and then get a house to fix up and chase the Jones' so you can be happy and then find a mate that you would like to fix and make change so the two of you can be happy then have kids and get dogs so you can fix up and train so that they could follow in your footsteps and make you proud which will make you happy, and the beat goes on. Meanwhile, hidden amidst all the clutter and confusion lies the simple road to happiness that many will never find.
Those people who are stripped of everything, whether it be from financial issues or from tragic circumstance are given somewhat of a hidden blessing. It is only then that some people realize that none of these things matter and can finally see the road they should have been on the entire time. Happiness can exist. It can exist for a long time. It can exist for the rest of your days but happily ever after is hard for me to understand. Someone is always left behind so there must be a time for something other than happiness.
One thing I know for sure is that once you do find the root of your own happiness it becomes easier to navigate towards when you have to deal with the other emotions this life brings.

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    • Moms-Secret profile imageAUTHOR

      Lissette 

      5 years ago from Central Florida

      Good to see you Laurinzo. I have never been good at hiding myself. I am happy to say that. :)

    • Laurinzo Scott profile image

      Live To Write 

      5 years ago from Phoenix, Az.

      Very insightful and I can feel the heart that went into this one...

      thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us

    • Moms-Secret profile imageAUTHOR

      Lissette 

      5 years ago from Central Florida

      I agree with you completely Vickiw... there is no place for guilt or regret and yet there is so much of it in this world. I chose not to have it in my life. Always nice to read your comments. Glad I can provoke your thoughts this morning.

    • Moms-Secret profile imageAUTHOR

      Lissette 

      5 years ago from Central Florida

      So very nice to meet you Leptirela! I hope to see more of you soon.

    • Moms-Secret profile imageAUTHOR

      Lissette 

      5 years ago from Central Florida

      Goodmorning Frank! Love seeing you, as always. You are very welcome. I often wonder why you love TYW installments. They are just random thoughts of a 'different' girl.

    • profile image

      Vickiw 

      5 years ago

      Hi Moms-Secret, I think "happily ever after"is usually the last line of a fairy tale. The great with it is that "ever" means different things to different people, so really it is quite a freeing thing to think of it as "my" ever, and decide what that means to you. "ever and ever" occurs in prayers, so that may have connotations of someone considering the life hereafter. Someone else may not believe that, so one "ever" would be sufficient. It's sort of like saying "long term," as it does not really give a specific time, but most of us think of it as being quite a long time in our lives. Bearing all this is mind then, guilt really should have no place if "happily ever after" situations don't work out, because maybe there was no meeting of the minds in the first place. Maybe the only "ever" is what is carried in our hearts during our life on earth, whether it is happy or sad memories. Interesting and thought provoking Hub.

    • Leptirela profile image

      Leptirela 

      5 years ago from I don't know half the time

      Thank you for sharing :) some deep thought

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      5 years ago from Shelton

      I told you before I just love reading tyw installments thank you for the share and the mention that it was up bless you girl

    • Moms-Secret profile imageAUTHOR

      Lissette 

      5 years ago from Central Florida

      Mhatter - enjoying coffee with you and your comment this morning. There is so much that we could talk about. Our cards may be different but I feel that they may carry the same weight. We don't get to choose them (who really would choose these things?). They influence us greatly but they do not have to define us. There is magic to enjoy yet and I hope that you embrace some.

    • Moms-Secret profile imageAUTHOR

      Lissette 

      5 years ago from Central Florida

      Vicki! I love seeing you. Thank you for all of your wonderful votes. --> :D Just look at the smile you have given me this morning and envision shiny, freshly brushed teeth...

      It is an awesome compliment to know that what I have on my sleeve is thought of as inspiring to another. I really never think of it while the words are pouring out of me onto the page.

    • Moms-Secret profile imageAUTHOR

      Lissette 

      5 years ago from Central Florida

      Good morning Xstatic. Women have a hard time hearing it but you are so right. The hypnosis starts very early with fairy tales then romantic comedies. We are not trained to handle the work involved with love. It's sad.

    • Moms-Secret profile imageAUTHOR

      Lissette 

      5 years ago from Central Florida

      Writinglover, always a pleasure to see you. I love to make friends think and love to be made to think. Ever is a lot to promise and produces a lot of pressure. We would be a lot happier if we could just stay in the moment, I think.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 

      5 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you for this thought provoking hub. As it turns out life has dealt me some unpleasant cards.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 

      5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Dear MomsSecret. How insightful that you can believe in "happy after." I know you've been through a lot, so this is inspring. Voted up, beautiful, awesome, interesting, useful. :-)

    • xstatic profile image

      Jim Higgins 

      5 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

      I recall telling a woman I was chasing at the time that "happily after ever after isn't as long as it used to be." I was middle-aged at the time. We are hypnotized by the popular lovesongs of our time, of longing, of romance, of that elusive ever after.

      There is so much wisdom in this essay and coming at the time of year that makes our hearts beat faster, it should be read widely. I will share it.

    • writinglover profile image

      Jennifer 

      5 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      Speaking of thought-provoking as you stated (or having thought-provoking friends), this hub set me to thinking about 'happily ever after.' I never really, at least at a serious level, thought about it that way before. You can believe in 'happily after' but not 'ever after' because you don't know what the future will bring. Anyway, voted up awesome and beautiful! :)

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