TYW: Happily Ever After
I wrote this months ago and never published it. I figure it is Feb and this is lovey, what better time to publish. My answer remains the same.
Do I believe in 'Happy Ever After'?
I love having thought provoking friends who ask me questions and talk openly. Although I seem to have many, they are not the norm. I appreciate mine. I am not sure that I ever believed in the 'Happy Ever After' concept in its entirety. I believe only in Happy After... The Ever is the part that I can't stand behind and support. I don't think so highly of myself that I would pretend to be invincible. I have hopes of staying for a long time but even before my life changed in an instant, I knew that we were one of the most delicate beings on the planet. Our problem is that we don't realize it until something happens and even then, if we are lucky enough to get thru it, we get swept up in life and forget our lesson. Ever is a long time. We promise to Love Forever like it is ours to control. Even if I could control forever, I would not want to doom someone to love only me for years after I have left this life before them. If you would love me forever, I would take your oath and cherish it beyond my lifetime but accept new love in my absence. I have used this term with some scarcity but I meant it each time. What I didn't learn until I was an adult is that someone's presence is not a requirement for love and that love is never ending. I do not need to take love from one to give to another. When I chose to love you for always, I really do mean it. It may adjust in levels and take on different forms but it will be with me always as will you. I also learned that sometimes Never is a lot longer than Forever is. I rarely use it at all. This way I do not have to contradict myself.
I believe in Happy After! I believe that, given the time to heal, happy can exist after any big hardship. How much after depends on the person. Some people take a lifetime. Some people never get to understand happiness. They spend there lives chasing it. They link it to everything outside of themselves which leaves them unsatisfied. I can't blame people for believing or thinking that way. We are conditioned to believe that. We are trained from the start of our lives that our happiness depends on something else. Commercialism survives on us thinking this way. It would seem that everything you don't have is exactly what makes you happy but they don't tell you that it is impossible to have everything. If you are overweight your happiness lies in a thinner you. Bigger boobs, straighter teeth, laser hair removal, bigger homes, nicer cars, tanner skin, the newest technology, a better job and clearer skin are all roads to your own utopia... The problem is that the list is never ending and the so called utopia is only found at the very end of it. Besides developing a serious pack-rat issue, I imagine that after years of faithful following, most people would be bored out of their wits when they finally got to utopia because there would be nothing much left to fix. Unless, maybe utopia can be rearranged, redecorated, and upgraded. The issue of fixing things is a whole other issue. We are trained to fix ourselves and others and the lesson is that nobody is ever good enough. Thats how this side of the world works. The illusive american dream that people can get lost in search of. Fix everything about you to be happy and then get a house to fix up and chase the Jones' so you can be happy and then find a mate that you would like to fix and make change so the two of you can be happy then have kids and get dogs so you can fix up and train so that they could follow in your footsteps and make you proud which will make you happy, and the beat goes on. Meanwhile, hidden amidst all the clutter and confusion lies the simple road to happiness that many will never find.
Those people who are stripped of everything, whether it be from financial issues or from tragic circumstance are given somewhat of a hidden blessing. It is only then that some people realize that none of these things matter and can finally see the road they should have been on the entire time. Happiness can exist. It can exist for a long time. It can exist for the rest of your days but happily ever after is hard for me to understand. Someone is always left behind so there must be a time for something other than happiness.
One thing I know for sure is that once you do find the root of your own happiness it becomes easier to navigate towards when you have to deal with the other emotions this life brings.