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Tastes Like Heaven - Why I don't diet!

Updated on November 20, 2012

Me, diet?

I don't diet. I have tried. I have succeeded. I have failed. Even my doctors have given up on parroting the "diet and exercise" mantra. I like to think am a very intelligent young woman. I know what healthy food is. I know what foods to avoid. I know what to eat and how much. I do a great job 90% of the time. It's that other 10% that's killing me. Most of the time I eat healthy food: fruits, veggies, lean meats. And I like them.

And then it happens. I cheat. Why? Like a lot of people, it can start with a craving for a food or flavor. It nags and nags at me until I give it. I swear sometimes I can hear the donuts calling me from the kitchen. I know exactly which one I want. And just what it will taste like. I have tried ignoring it. I read somewhere that cravings only last about 10 minutes. If you wait it goes away. I have waited. Ten minutes. Ten hours. Ten days. So much for that theory. Sometimes I make that horrible mistake of thinking I can just have one bite, or only a few, of something. Pie, cake, cookies, pizza, you name it. I have eaten an entire bag of cheese curls in a day. A dozen cookies in one night. I know its unhealthy. That I will gain weight. That in many cases it will make sick due to food allergies, sensitivities, and intolerance. But at that moment I don't care.

Actually, caring or not barely crosses my mind. If I do slow down enough to think, it is usually the same thoughts: Just this one last time. Or, I will be good for the next week to make up for it. Or, it will help me sleep or make me feel better. The decision happens so quick I barely notice making it. What I do notice is what happens next. As I take that first bite. It tastes like heaven! That is the best way I can explain it. If you could taste heaven, that would be it. It feels that way too. Like heaven. The flavors, the textures, the simple pleasure. I feel it all the way down to my toes. That bubbly yet calming wave of pleasure. It's almost better than sex. Almost. They might be tied. Don't tell my boyfriend!

What food do you have the biggest weakness for?

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Bundle of Joy

One of my biggest weaknesses is McDonald's cheeseburgers. There are so many reasons I should not eat them. I need to lose weight. I have high blood pressure. I am allergic to sesame seeds. I have an intolerance for wheat proteins and a sensitivity to wheat. I also have a slight intolerance for beef. That spells gas, bloating, stomach pain, diarrhea, migraines, sinus discomfort. Its like eating a tiny little bomb that will wreak havoc on my system. Why on earth would I eat one of these?! Do I have a death wish? Quite the contrary. I desperately want to be healthy. So then why do I eat them? Heaven. In a moment of stress or weakness, who would deprive themselves a moment of heaven? Obviously, not me.

That adorable warm little bundle of joy. Wrapped snugly in its crinkly orange paper. That cute little bun. Just a tiny bit too big. Concealing a yummy patty of beef. That is beef, right? Those teeny tiny chopped onions. Barely noticeable, yet oh so essential. The sour soft crunch of the the pickle. Just the right amount of ketchup and mustard to moisten the bun and excite the senses. The cheese, hovering somewhere between cold and melted, ties the flavors together. Each flavor, each texture, is unique and pops out yet blends together like a symphony in my mouth. I savor the entire experience. From unwrapping, to the first bite, to the last crumb.

Everything else disappears. My two minutes in heaven. Sometimes I order two. I don't know why. Greedy perhaps. The second one is never as good. The high of the first heavenly experience cannot be replicated. Not yet anyway. And afterwards. Do I feel guilty? Not a bit. Not a shred of remorse for one single bite taken. I am glowing. Giddy.When I stop to think about what I have done, I justify it. I was stressed and now I feel better. It was in a hurry and I can eat them while I drive. It wont make me that sick. I took off part of the bun. It was so absolutely worth it.

Victory?

Yesterday, I fought the urge to order the two cheeseburgers that my brain was demanding. I convinced myself that the heaven I experience is not real. That I invented it, and I can un-invent it. That the adorable little bundle will only poison me. That I can find something else just as good but not as bad. Or at least close. I am very proud of this success. I am holding on to these feelings. The detest of the burger. The high of yesterday's victory. I will keep them fresh in my mind. Consciously repeating them. Until they become automatic. I quit smoking this way. By convincing myself that just one puff of one cigarette will make me feel sick. But can I do this with food? With heaven?! Only time will tell. If I succeed, the sky is the limit: cherry pie, chocolate cake, Doritos, cookies, bread, even pizza. I am optimistic. But for now it's only day one. Let's focus on the burgers.

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    • profile image

      Kevin is playing poker! 5 years ago

      true so true

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Had me laughing with this one; you are a person after my own heart. I defy all logic when it comes to eating. Great hub! Now it's time for a snack!

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Bill. Glad u liked it. I thought u might. My brain works in very strange ways sometimes. At least its never boring!

    • Barnsey profile image

      Barnsey 5 years ago from Happy Hunting Grounds

      After hurting my back in a car accident in my twenties a lot of my hard won muscle went south. Driving nine hours a day only worsened the problem and thus I struggled with my weight for the next 14 years! Both my parents were heavy and I knew I had an uphill battle. I tried every diet, every trick and had no real success until I discovered, and no this is not a cheap way to get folks to my hubs, Coke Zero. Soda was another of my addictions so every time i craved something I drowned that desire with some zero calorie decadence. I lost forty five lbs in a year or so using this mental self subjugation.

      Not saying it will work for everyone but I stand by it working for me.

      P.S. - The way you write your descriptions of "heaven" makes my mouth water. Very seductive! I know I have a cupcake around here somewhere...

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

      A great hub ;up up and away;take care and have a wonderful day.

      I now look forward to many more from you.

      Eddy.

    • Hyphenbird profile image

      Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

      You describe it well. sigh I eat very healthy, am a vegetarian and do not care for sweets. But occasionally I get those cravings and indeed when I bite into that whatever, it is heavenly. I laughed as I read this. Your ending advice is great. My bestest-best friend in the world is going to stop smoking. I will share this with her.

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Hyphenbird - if we can't laugh about things like this, then what a miserable life it would be. i am happy to say that i am getting much better at not eating what i shouldn't! good luck to your bestest-best friend! :)

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      There is no way I could just pick one guilty pleasure. I like chocolate and salt and texture and all of it! I just eat in moderation and try to be as active as possible. Most of the time. Ha!

    • theclevercat profile image

      Rachel Vega 4 years ago from Massachusetts

      "That is beef, right?" Lol.

      I continue to battle this same thing -- for me it's not Mickey D's, but it sure is a constant trial to not binge. Binging is fun and you really can feel it in your toes, but ain't nothin' better than a session with your love. (I mean, there are true health benefits!) Maybe jumping his bones whenever you get the urge for a burger would help? I tried that with an ex in my 20's and it worked like a dream. :^D

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      Sunshine - Moderation is the key! I don't believe in derpiving yourelf of lifes pleasures if it will make you stressed out and unhappy. It is best to find a balance. I am still searching, and getting closer every day. And that is good enough. What fun would life be if we didn't throw the rules out the window every now and then. :)

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      cat - Ah! A fellow binger! Yes it does really feel great. You are right about "jumping his bones" feels great and it is great exercise. I hear it burns around 300 calories - hmmm that is a little less than one cheeseburger! Of course there is also the theory of throwing your frustrations and extra energy into something creative and productive. Housework or writing perhaps? I think it will all come down to accessibility :)

    • Docmo profile image

      Mohan Kumar 4 years ago from UK

      I repeat, the girl can indeed write. And what more , she is endearingly honest, rib- tickling funny and eternally optimistic. And she loves food. A girl after my own heart. I too, hate the concept of dieting, while I agree that moderation is the key. I feel binging is the 'brain's pleasure centres rebelling against instructions. I go for the opposite, I desire food and I also desire health so I could enjoy the food much longer. I also desire looking ( reasonably) fit ! How I juggle these three becomes the key rather than suppress one. As I don't fight any of these desires perhaps my overall balance is not too bad although the more I age the harder it is to walk that tight rope so I start to make little sacrifices when I can . As Oscar Wilde put so well. The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. I would perhaps add, and balance your temptations against each other so they can fight it out! Loved this hub, Dana.

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      Docmo - Thank you again! Honest, Funny, optomistic - I don't know how to be any other way. You have quite a talent for pulling "me" out of my writing. Lucky me it is positive things you are finding!

      I have learned that depriving yourself of pleasure only makes for a miserable life, and sets you up for failure. Moderation is key. And a life based on healthy, good choices (I am getting better at those every day). When temptaion knocks, I stop and think "is it worth it?". There is nothing wrong with a few moments of pure pleasure as long as it isn't going to cause any real damage. If you can't have that, what is the sense in living?!

      Love the Oscar Wilde quote. What a great writer.

      Thanks again for reading and for the comments. Take Care.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 4 years ago from South Africa

      Yummy! I know what I will have for dinner ~ a McDonald's cheeseburger.

      Voted up and passionate!

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      Hi Martie! Thanks for the votes. No burgers for me tonight. Swordfish and salad. Just as good. Almost. Sort of.... :)

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      I used to have that love/hate relationship with food. Not an easy thing to live with. You can do it, my friend, you are strong! Voted up and shared.

    • rcrumple profile image

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      DanaDanaDana -

      Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.... hot and steaming... the aroma filling the air.... is awaiting you at Micky Dee's. Add an extra large order of blistering hot, oh so slender golden french fries completely engulfed in the sweetness of ketchup, and the glorious, refreshing coolness and milkiness of a chocolate shake as the sugar tantalizes the taste buds and tickles the throat as it clears way for more solid offerings, and Heaven appears!

      Don't cha just love celery sticks? Great Hub! Loved it!

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      TT - thanks! Bloating so severly that I look pregnant and frequent trips to the coomode are pretty good motivation to avoid bread. Most times, Thanks for the vote :P

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      rcrumple - your comment is better than my hub! you just had to go there. the Big Mac. Mmmmmm! And those fries. Those are my favorite fries ever. I could write volumes on french fries! And how did u know that the perfect compliment to those salty sticks of joy is a chocolate shake! ..... I won't give in. La la la la. I'm not listening, brain. Carrots and celery, carrots and celery, carrots and.....

      Thanks for giving me some hub love. See you around!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      I'm real lucky that genetic and metabolism are my friends...I have no will power at all. I have heard though that we can program our minds to think we don't like things or we do like them?

      Great hub!

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      RealHousewife - i was cursed with the xact opposite genes, funny how life is.... interesting that you bring up programming you r minds, Thinking about how sick my last cigarette made me has worked for years to keep me form smoking. Iam hoping that thinking bout how sick it makes me will keep me from eating what I shouldnt. Limite success so far. the mind is tricky! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. glad u liked it.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      Oh dear Dana you so well weave the web we all deal with in one way or another! Your humor and honesty only makes it all the more understandable and 'relateable'! So many 'little' treats to eat, just this once, the very last time...until the next time!

      Voted up, funny, and interesting.

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      Tillsontitan - lol! You understand perfectly. I have to laugh at myself or it would just be no fun to fight the punchy battles.... thanks for the votes.... love the new avatar!

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image

      Stephanie Henkel 4 years ago from USA

      Oh, my! I know exactly how you feel when craving that "little bit of heaven", but you have described it so much better! Now, I never thought I'd crave a McDonald's cheeseburger, but after reading your description, my mouth is watering and I'm wondering if I should scrap plans for supper and run down to Mickey D's... Great hub and good luck!

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      Stephanie Henkel - food cravings really are something aren't they? and that feeling when you satisfy the craving, it really is a high.... resist the McD's! it's a gateway food.once you give in then it's going to be all downhill from there! or not... for rme it has been up and down and up and down and... thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. :)

    • Laurinzo Scott profile image

      Live To Write 4 years ago from Phoenix, Az.

      This hub made me sooooo hungry; and I Am dieting

      but you know you did perfectly describe the way food (probably a few other things) can seem to call us...

      I recently stopped smoking... so maybe to treat myself... I will dive into a pile of those cupcakes.... oh no.......

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      I am proud to say I have not been to McD's in a long time. I do like chocolate a lot tho! I am not dieting and have no intention - let's be happy and focus less on our weight :)

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      Laurinzo Scott- Diesting? You? No! Don't lose to much weight. I like men alittle on the soft side, inside and out.

      Way to go for quitting smoking! I know how difficult that can be. The best thing to do in life is to make healthy choices. So much easier said than done.....Thanks for stopping by to read this one.

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      ChristyWrites - Hi Twin.. I think is you even thought about dieting you would watse away to nothing - so please don't do it!!! ... I have been very good about staying away form McD's lately.... I also have no intention on dieting ever again. The only thing that works for me is to make healthy choices - for mind, body and soul.

      I agree. Let's be happy! Seeing you always makes me happy. Thanks for stopping by. :)

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