ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Taxi joke

Updated on January 30, 2008

Here's a "rated R" (not for children!) joke that a friend from Croatia forwarded. (izvorna versija na hrvatskom na dnu)

A man arrives at San Francisco airport at the taxi stand and asks the driver:

- How much for a ride to San Jose?

- $100

- But I only have $80!

- Tough luck!

The man thinks for a bit and asks:

- Well, can you take me as far as the $80 will take me?

- Sure

And so they set off.

They drive until they reach Sunnyvale (a couple of miles from San Jose) and the taxi driver says:

- Your $80 takes you exactly here!

- But come on, it's pouring rain outside and it's only a couple more miles!

- Out! the taxi driver says.

A week later the man is at SFO and approaches the taxi stand. This time there are 8 or 9 taxis waiting, with the taxi driver from last week at the end. The man approaches the first driver:

- Here's $100 to get me to San Jose...and another $100 for you to give me a blow job!

- Get the hell away away from me, you pervert! and the taxi driver yells a bunch of insults at him.

The man approaches the second cabbie:

- Here's $100 to get me to San Jose...and another $100 if you give me a blow job!

- (really harsh insults ensue)

And so the same goes through the whole line, until the man approaches the driver from the previous week:

- How much for a ride to San Jose?

- $100, like last week. What, are you going nuts?!

- Listen, here's $100...and here's another $100 if you drive me around here slowly for a little bit and wave at your cabbie friends.

-------------------------------

Došao čovjek u Osijek na taksi stajalište i upita taksistu:

-koliko je vožnja do Djakova?

-sto kuna!

-ali ja imam samo 80!?

-onda ništa.

Razmišlja tip pa kaže:

-a jel ti mene možeš voziti za tih 80 pa dakle dodjemo?

-može.

i tako oni krenu...

Vozili se oni tako kad u kuševcu (par km pred djakovom) kaze taksista:

-tvojih 80 kn ovdje ističu!

-ali pobogu, kiša pljušti a to je još samo par km?!

-van! rece taksista...

Nakon tjedan dana dolazi čovjek opet na taxi stajaliste. ovaj put stoji 8-9 taxija a onaj od prošlog tjedna je zadnji u redu...čovjek ode kod prvog:

-evo ti 100 kn za vožnju do djakova i jos 100 ako mi ga popušiš!!

-mars pederčino!-raspe taksista salvu psovki za njim...

Ode ovaj kod drugog:

-100 kn za vožnju do djakova i jos 100 da mi ga popušiš!

-mamu ti jebem, tata nek ti ga puši...

I tako svi redom dok dodje on do onoga od prošlog tjedna:

-koliko je vožnja do djakova?

-100 kn isto ko i prošli tjedan, sta se praviš lud!?

-čuj, evo ti 100 kn...a evo ti jos 100 da me lijepo polako ovuda provezeš i usput mašeš svojim kolegama...

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • farinaz taheri profile image

      farinaz taheri 

      9 years ago

      such a nice one! By the way I have some jokes which going to be great ideas for animation! |Do you have any idea what s the start point?

    • The Old Firm profile image

      The Old Firm 

      10 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

      Again, many thanks for the joke. I've emailed it to my more astute friends.

      You've some great sites!

    • Candice Darnell profile image

      Candice Darnell 

      10 years ago

      Very Good!!!

    • profile image

      sandra rinck 

      10 years ago

      im gonna use that one.

    • profile image

      Iðunn 

      10 years ago

      roflmao! good stuff :D

    • William F. Torpey profile image

      William F Torpey 

      10 years ago from South Valley Stream, N.Y.

      A good one!

    • chabrenas profile image

      chabrenas 

      10 years ago from middle of France

      Revenge is sweet.

    • Kenny Wordsmith profile image

      Ashok Rajagopalan 

      10 years ago from Chennai

      That the bad driver deserves! lol

    • MrMarmalade profile image

      MrMarmalade 

      10 years ago from Sydney

      That was funnyThank you

    • Brandy Owens profile image

      Brandy Owens 

      10 years ago from Wherever life takes me

      AHahahahahah! That was great! :D

    • Isabella Snow profile image

      Isabella Snow 

      10 years ago

      LMAO! ;)

    • Guru-C profile image

      Cory Zacharia 

      10 years ago

      Funny!!!!!

    • Krista 07 profile image

      Krista 07 

      10 years ago from Europe

      lol thanks I laughed alot. lol

    • compu-smart profile image

      Compu-Smart 

      10 years ago from London UK

      Laughing always helps to live longer and anything helps, Thanks;)

    • Eileen Hughes profile image

      Eileen Hughes 

      10 years ago from Northam Western Australia

      Every dog has his day thats what I say. He got his big time.

    • jimmythejock profile image

      James Paterson 

      10 years ago from Scotland

      Ha ha ha! livelonger nice one thanks for sharing.....jimmy

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile image

      Stacie Naczelnik 

      10 years ago from Seattle

      Good one! I like it.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)