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Taxi joke
Here's a "rated R" (not for children!) joke that a friend from Croatia forwarded. (izvorna versija na hrvatskom na dnu)
A man arrives at San Francisco airport at the taxi stand and asks the driver:
- How much for a ride to San Jose?
- $100
- But I only have $80!
- Tough luck!
The man thinks for a bit and asks:
- Well, can you take me as far as the $80 will take me?
- Sure
And so they set off.
They drive until they reach Sunnyvale (a couple of miles from San Jose) and the taxi driver says:
- Your $80 takes you exactly here!
- But come on, it's pouring rain outside and it's only a couple more miles!
- Out! the taxi driver says.
A week later the man is at SFO and approaches the taxi stand. This time there are 8 or 9 taxis waiting, with the taxi driver from last week at the end. The man approaches the first driver:
- Here's $100 to get me to San Jose...and another $100 for you to give me a blow job!
- Get the hell away away from me, you pervert! and the taxi driver yells a bunch of insults at him.
The man approaches the second cabbie:
- Here's $100 to get me to San Jose...and another $100 if you give me a blow job!
- (really harsh insults ensue)
And so the same goes through the whole line, until the man approaches the driver from the previous week:
- How much for a ride to San Jose?
- $100, like last week. What, are you going nuts?!
- Listen, here's $100...and here's another $100 if you drive me around here slowly for a little bit and wave at your cabbie friends.
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Došao čovjek u Osijek na taksi stajalište i upita taksistu:
-koliko je vožnja do Djakova?
-sto kuna!
-ali ja imam samo 80!?
-onda ništa.
Razmišlja tip pa kaže:
-a jel ti mene možeš voziti za tih 80 pa dakle dodjemo?
-može.
i tako oni krenu...
Vozili se oni tako kad u kuševcu (par km pred djakovom) kaze taksista:
-tvojih 80 kn ovdje ističu!
-ali pobogu, kiša pljušti a to je još samo par km?!
-van! rece taksista...
Nakon tjedan dana dolazi čovjek opet na taxi stajaliste. ovaj put stoji 8-9 taxija a onaj od prošlog tjedna je zadnji u redu...čovjek ode kod prvog:
-evo ti 100 kn za vožnju do djakova i jos 100 ako mi ga popušiš!!
-mars pederčino!-raspe taksista salvu psovki za njim...
Ode ovaj kod drugog:
-100 kn za vožnju do djakova i jos 100 da mi ga popušiš!
-mamu ti jebem, tata nek ti ga puši...
I tako svi redom dok dodje on do onoga od prošlog tjedna:
-koliko je vožnja do djakova?
-100 kn isto ko i prošli tjedan, sta se praviš lud!?
-čuj, evo ti 100 kn...a evo ti jos 100 da me lijepo polako ovuda provezeš i usput mašeš svojim kolegama...