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Taxi joke

Updated on January 30, 2008

Here's a "rated R" (not for children!) joke that a friend from Croatia forwarded. (izvorna versija na hrvatskom na dnu)

A man arrives at San Francisco airport at the taxi stand and asks the driver:

- How much for a ride to San Jose?

- $100

- But I only have $80!

- Tough luck!

The man thinks for a bit and asks:

- Well, can you take me as far as the $80 will take me?

- Sure

And so they set off.

They drive until they reach Sunnyvale (a couple of miles from San Jose) and the taxi driver says:

- Your $80 takes you exactly here!

- But come on, it's pouring rain outside and it's only a couple more miles!

- Out! the taxi driver says.

A week later the man is at SFO and approaches the taxi stand. This time there are 8 or 9 taxis waiting, with the taxi driver from last week at the end. The man approaches the first driver:

- Here's $100 to get me to San Jose...and another $100 for you to give me a blow job!

- Get the hell away away from me, you pervert! and the taxi driver yells a bunch of insults at him.

The man approaches the second cabbie:

- Here's $100 to get me to San Jose...and another $100 if you give me a blow job!

- (really harsh insults ensue)

And so the same goes through the whole line, until the man approaches the driver from the previous week:

- How much for a ride to San Jose?

- $100, like last week. What, are you going nuts?!

- Listen, here's $100...and here's another $100 if you drive me around here slowly for a little bit and wave at your cabbie friends.


Došao čovjek u Osijek na taksi stajalište i upita taksistu:

-koliko je vožnja do Djakova?

-sto kuna!

-ali ja imam samo 80!?

-onda ništa.

Razmišlja tip pa kaže:

-a jel ti mene možeš voziti za tih 80 pa dakle dodjemo?


i tako oni krenu...

Vozili se oni tako kad u kuševcu (par km pred djakovom) kaze taksista:

-tvojih 80 kn ovdje ističu!

-ali pobogu, kiša pljušti a to je još samo par km?!

-van! rece taksista...

Nakon tjedan dana dolazi čovjek opet na taxi stajaliste. ovaj put stoji 8-9 taxija a onaj od prošlog tjedna je zadnji u redu...čovjek ode kod prvog:

-evo ti 100 kn za vožnju do djakova i jos 100 ako mi ga popušiš!!

-mars pederčino!-raspe taksista salvu psovki za njim...

Ode ovaj kod drugog:

-100 kn za vožnju do djakova i jos 100 da mi ga popušiš!

-mamu ti jebem, tata nek ti ga puši...

I tako svi redom dok dodje on do onoga od prošlog tjedna:

-koliko je vožnja do djakova?

-100 kn isto ko i prošli tjedan, sta se praviš lud!?

-čuj, evo ti 100 kn...a evo ti jos 100 da me lijepo polako ovuda provezeš i usput mašeš svojim kolegama...


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    • Stacie Naczelnik profile image

      Stacie Naczelnik 9 years ago from Seattle

      Good one! I like it.

    • jimmythejock profile image

      James Paterson 9 years ago from Scotland

      Ha ha ha! livelonger nice one thanks for sharing.....jimmy

    • Eileen Hughes profile image

      Eileen Hughes 9 years ago from Northam Western Australia

      Every dog has his day thats what I say. He got his big time.

    • compu-smart profile image

      compu-smart 9 years ago from London UK

      Laughing always helps to live longer and anything helps, Thanks;)

    • Krista 07 profile image

      Krista 07 9 years ago from Europe

      lol thanks I laughed alot. lol

    • Guru-C profile image

      Cory Zacharia 9 years ago


    • Isabella Snow profile image

      Isabella Snow 9 years ago

      LMAO! ;)

    • Brandy Owens profile image

      Brandy Owens 9 years ago from Wherever life takes me

      AHahahahahah! That was great! :D

    • MrMarmalade profile image

      MrMarmalade 9 years ago from Sydney

      That was funnyThank you

    • Kenny Wordsmith profile image

      Ashok Rajagopalan 9 years ago from Chennai

      That the bad driver deserves! lol

    • chabrenas profile image

      chabrenas 9 years ago from middle of France

      Revenge is sweet.

    • William F. Torpey profile image

      William F Torpey 9 years ago from South Valley Stream, N.Y.

      A good one!

    • profile image

      Iðunn 9 years ago

      roflmao! good stuff :D

    • profile image

      sandra rinck 9 years ago

      im gonna use that one.

    • Candice Darnell profile image

      Candice Darnell 9 years ago

      Very Good!!!

    • The Old Firm profile image

      The Old Firm 8 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

      Again, many thanks for the joke. I've emailed it to my more astute friends.

      You've some great sites!

    • farinaz taheri profile image

      farinaz taheri 7 years ago

      such a nice one! By the way I have some jokes which going to be great ideas for animation! |Do you have any idea what s the start point?

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