Tears in November
Letter to my sweet Mum
It's so shocking to discover that 14 years have gone by so quickly as though time is actually trying hard to erase your memory from my heart. I cannot help missing you and you know what? It's THAT time of the year again when I can't help wishing you had spent some more time with your "baby". If I had to choose my most happy years growing up, I would settle for the times we travelled together to the village to see relatives. I can still remember your voice dripping with love each time you lovingly explained a matter to your doting young son.
I also remember, vividly (just like yesterday), the day you took me to Church to hand me over to God in fulfillment of the vow you made to Him before I was born.
How I wish you could just see me now. I am all grown up. Mum, your "little" boy is now a man. I am married to a woman who reminds me so much of you. Each day, I pray that I will grow old with her and that she wouldn't be snatched away from me just like you were.
Mum, I am in the Ministry, serving God like you always wanted me to. I am still waiting for the gift of a child but I pray my first child is a daughter so that I can make up for the years I missed you. Oh! I miss you so much.
My little sister is also married, mum, and she has two lovely boys. Your son-inlaw is doing well too; but all the new-found encomiums that are poured on me I would gladly exchange for just one hour with you catching up on the intervening years and bringing you up to speed on the things I did according to the pieces of advice you gave to me when you were here.
I love you so much, mum and if I had known then what I know now, I wouldn't have let you go.
As I face another November without you, I take courage from the fact that you taught me well. I'll never ever forget you, mum. Take care of yourself.
I was just finishing a letter to mum and I thought of putting down a few lines in your honour. It's been three years without you and somehow I miss your face. I had always wanted to prove myself to you, to earn your approval and to see your smile and to hear your voice telling me to go ahead and excel.
I still remember you telling me 4 years ago that someday I will be a Bishop. Though it has not come to pass but I believe so strongly in the blessing of a loving Father that I have begun to expect it sooner rather than later.
You taught me courage in the face of fear, humility inspite of any achievements and contentment no matter where I found myself. All these have kept me going and even though I do not miss you as much as I miss mum, I know that there is an empty place in my heart that can only be filled when I give birth to a son (not that I want a son as a first born, I have already promised that slot to mum) who will represent you in my heart again.
I want to assure you that I will not derail from the lessons I learnt at your feet. I will make you proud and I can just imagine your smile at the things I have already achieved.
Keep resting in glory, dad. I will not forget you. I am planning a BIG memorial service for you and mum next year November. I'll invite classical musicians to sing Handel's Messiah in your honour in the Church and we will spend three (3) glorious hours telling people of how much our parents impacted our lives.
Say me well to mum, dad and keep praising the Almighty. I'll join you but not anytime soon.