- Books, Literature, and Writing»
- Commercial & Creative Writing»
- Creative Writing»
- Humor Writing
8 Terrible Reasons to Hire Someone
You Are Hired...
But for the right reasons?
That is right. No matter how hard it may be to accept, sometimes we are hired for all the wrong reasons. You might be happy to get that job, but when it comes down to it, you want to get hired for the right reasons. You'll probably adapt to the job and enjoy working there if you are the "right fit" for the company.
If you are a hiring manager, you've probably been tempted to hire someone that is just not the right fit. Maybe she smells really nice or perhaps the guy has a nice smile. That just won't cut it! You need to hire your staff for all right reasons. However, I am not here to tell you about those reasons. Instead, let's talk about all the wrong reasons people get hired.
Maybe You Should Not Hire If...
1. The applicant leans over your desk and quietly whispers, "I know where you live and I kidnapped your dog." Instead of hiring this person, you probably want to call the cops immediately. Don't give in to his threats!
2. The applicant has a really cool name... but that is it. Yes, it might be exciting to have Harley David Sonn working at your job, but Harley doesn't know how to do the job. Nor is Harley willing to learn. You might need to look at some other applicants.
3. You might be impressed with your potential new employee's ability to squirt milk out his eye, but that does not mean he knows how to drive a bus. In fact, he has squirted a little too much milk out his eyes and his vision is not even that good. You might want to pass on this applicant.
4. Although blackmail photos do work in some instances, it is really not a good idea to hire anyone based on that. Once Blackmail Photo Guy starts working at your factory, he is probably going to find ways to get out of working. After all, the guy blackmails people... he is going to do whatever he needs to do to get out of actually doing his job, too.
5. You feel sorry for someone. Yeah, Candy needs money desperately to bail her brother out of jail, but that does not mean she can be your receptionist. That also does not mean you should give her access to the company credit card. As a matter of fact, you definitely don't want to give her access to a credit card. Pity is never a good excuse to hire an under-qualified person, especially one that is not willing to learn new skills.
6. Nepotism - it is running rampant at many companies. You probably wouldn't expect it to be so prevalent, but it sure is... even in government offices, non-profits, etc. Nepotism - it is not just for Mom and Pop businesses anymore! It might seem like a good idea to hire the boss's daughter to file all your paperwork, but when she spends more time filing her nails than actually working, you are going to be stuck in a bad situation. Good luck trying to fire Suzie. It is more likely she will end up with your job if you complain.
7. The applicant's mother baked you cookies. Sure, we all enjoy some delicious baked goods from someone's Mom. However, that is not a good reason to hire someone. Furthermore, if the mother accompanies her child to a job interview, it is probably a bad idea to hire that person. Mommy might give you a call if her adult child is sad for any reason at work.
8. Bribery! Even if the applicant does not bring in cookies from Mommy, the applicant might find other ways to bribe a potential employer. If an applicant can't appeal to you based on job qualifications, it is a bad idea to let that pile of cash (or coupon for a free pizza) encourage you to hire that person. When he messes up all your filing, loses money for your company, and basically ruins your life, that bribe won't seem that great after all.
Copyright ©2014 Jeannieinabottle
Even more job-related ridiculousness...
- Exciting New Ways to Greet Customers on the Phone
Don't just be a conformist and use the same tired old greetings on the phone at work. Let's step outside the box and start using some fun new greetings.
- How to Create a Work Mystery
If you've been bored at work recently and need something to liven up the place, I suggest creating a mystery at work. You barely need to put forth any effort to have your co-workers buzzing at work.
- How to Look Really Busy at Work
Are you one of those unfortunate people that has to work everyday? Bummer! If you need to look extremely busy just so you can keep your job, check out these helpful tips.
- How to Save Money While at Work
If you work full-time, but still aren't making ends meet, let's discuss some ways to save money while working. Make your full-time job work for you!