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8 Terrible Reasons to Hire Someone

Updated on June 22, 2014
Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannie has been writing for HubPages for over 5 years. She covers a wide variety of topics - anything from hamsters to office work.

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You Are Hired...

But for the right reasons?

That is right. No matter how hard it may be to accept, sometimes we are hired for all the wrong reasons. You might be happy to get that job, but when it comes down to it, you want to get hired for the right reasons. You'll probably adapt to the job and enjoy working there if you are the "right fit" for the company.

If you are a hiring manager, you've probably been tempted to hire someone that is just not the right fit. Maybe she smells really nice or perhaps the guy has a nice smile. That just won't cut it! You need to hire your staff for all right reasons. However, I am not here to tell you about those reasons. Instead, let's talk about all the wrong reasons people get hired.

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Maybe You Should Not Hire If...

1. The applicant leans over your desk and quietly whispers, "I know where you live and I kidnapped your dog." Instead of hiring this person, you probably want to call the cops immediately. Don't give in to his threats!

2. The applicant has a really cool name... but that is it. Yes, it might be exciting to have Harley David Sonn working at your job, but Harley doesn't know how to do the job. Nor is Harley willing to learn. You might need to look at some other applicants.

3. You might be impressed with your potential new employee's ability to squirt milk out his eye, but that does not mean he knows how to drive a bus. In fact, he has squirted a little too much milk out his eyes and his vision is not even that good. You might want to pass on this applicant.

4. Although blackmail photos do work in some instances, it is really not a good idea to hire anyone based on that. Once Blackmail Photo Guy starts working at your factory, he is probably going to find ways to get out of working. After all, the guy blackmails people... he is going to do whatever he needs to do to get out of actually doing his job, too.

5. You feel sorry for someone. Yeah, Candy needs money desperately to bail her brother out of jail, but that does not mean she can be your receptionist. That also does not mean you should give her access to the company credit card. As a matter of fact, you definitely don't want to give her access to a credit card. Pity is never a good excuse to hire an under-qualified person, especially one that is not willing to learn new skills.

6. Nepotism - it is running rampant at many companies. You probably wouldn't expect it to be so prevalent, but it sure is... even in government offices, non-profits, etc. Nepotism - it is not just for Mom and Pop businesses anymore! It might seem like a good idea to hire the boss's daughter to file all your paperwork, but when she spends more time filing her nails than actually working, you are going to be stuck in a bad situation. Good luck trying to fire Suzie. It is more likely she will end up with your job if you complain.

7. The applicant's mother baked you cookies. Sure, we all enjoy some delicious baked goods from someone's Mom. However, that is not a good reason to hire someone. Furthermore, if the mother accompanies her child to a job interview, it is probably a bad idea to hire that person. Mommy might give you a call if her adult child is sad for any reason at work.

8. Bribery! Even if the applicant does not bring in cookies from Mommy, the applicant might find other ways to bribe a potential employer. If an applicant can't appeal to you based on job qualifications, it is a bad idea to let that pile of cash (or coupon for a free pizza) encourage you to hire that person. When he messes up all your filing, loses money for your company, and basically ruins your life, that bribe won't seem that great after all.

Copyright ©2014 Jeannieinabottle

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  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

    Your imagination and sense of humor are joys to behold. Funny from start to finish, Jeannie!

  • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

    Patty Inglish 3 years ago from North America

    This is great! Always good for job seekers to hear things from the other side of the desk - and I hope they get no fancy ideas from this Hub. LOL

    Unfortunately, I have actually seen Numbers 5, 6 & 7 happen, with horrid results.

    Rated Up and across and shared.

  • FlourishAnyway profile image

    FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

    If someone could squirt milk out of his eye, I just might hire him for the sheer entertainment value as long as maybe he's a chef or does something cool with his talent.

  • lambservant profile image

    Lori Colbo 3 years ago from Pacific Northwest

    Harley David Sonn - love it. Or Jack Daniels, or John Deere. Squirting milk out of the eye? He needs to be hired by a circus or dairy farm. Another person one should not hire is one who tells you all the drama in her life. What you hear in the interview you can quadruple in the office.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image
    Author

    Jeannie InABottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    billybuc, thanks so much! Sadly, some of these are true stories. I remember saying more than once at work, "You hired her because of that?" No wonder so many good workers are out of work!

    Patty Inglish, MS, yes some of these things really happen. I even knew a girl that got hired because her boss liked her name, so that even happens! Thanks so much for the votes!

    FlourishAnyway, I've met someone that had that talent, but thankfully, I don't think he got any jobs that way. It is tough to add that to a resume. ;-) Thanks for dropping by!

    lambservant, you are right. The drama queen does not need to be hired, yet there is one at every office. Some people really over-share in interviews and at least that is the one type of person we have not hired yet at my office. Thanks for your comment!

  • Snurre profile image

    Snurre 3 years ago

    Hehe, I especially loved the "you feel sorry for someone" bit. That doesn't happen often to HR professionals, but even they have a heart and a soul. At least sometimes.

  • bravewarrior profile image

    Shauna L Bowling 3 years ago from Central Florida

    Although I'm no longer in the work force, I had to read this because I knew it would be laced with humor. You didn't disappoint, Jeannie! I can always count on you for a chuckle or two!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image
    Author

    Jeannie InABottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Snurre, I hope not too many places hire out of sympathy, but my company did one time. They ended up with someone that could never be at work on time because of some type of family drama going on. She had to be let go. It is never a good situation. Needless to say, we don't have a real HR dept. Thanks for your comment!

    bravewarrior, thank you! I am glad you enjoyed my hub. Sometimes I don't know how to categorize hubs - humor or serious. I need something in between. :-)

  • bravewarrior profile image

    Shauna L Bowling 3 years ago from Central Florida

    Yeah, Seriously Humorous would work!

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    sheilamyers 3 years ago

    All very good reasons not to hire someone. Thanks for the laugh.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image
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    Jeannie InABottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thank you! I am glad you liked it.

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