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The BJ Dictionary

Updated on March 30, 2014

Silly words often crop up and even find their way into standard dictionaries, like "dis", which has converted the noun "disrespect" into a slang verb. Another example of a noun being converted to a verb is "task". Ours is such a rich language, borrowing from languages all over the world, that this should not be necessary. Instead, let's tweak the words we already have and create more salient new words. After all, this should not be only the domain of the advertising industry (There are no more doctors on TV ads -- they are prescribers.)

I would like to start off with a pronunciation change. "Dollop" should not stress the first syllable; that makes it sound like a fake-human spy action. Instead, think of the sound when you plop a big spoon of whipping cream on a hot apple pie -- duh-LOP!

When my brother was panhandling, he used to go to Wall Street and sell boxes of scruples to the traders on the street. After all, who more needed them? Well, there are insurance companies and lawyers... Nonetheless, as one might expect, for a dollar the traders purchased a box of air. It's only fair.

Some other words I think Webster missed:

PERFURGER – the perfect hamburger

Of course, then PERFOG = the perfect hot dog

ROOTH – gentility; a roothless person has none; note I have corrected the spelling of ruthless

COUTHLESSNESS – lack of suavity. This should really be spelled coothlessness. Besides, that way coothless could rhyme with toothless for poets.

RULY – the condition of being in order, as compared to being unruly. Probably should be spelled rooly

SURLY – the condition of having a lot of surl. While this word already exists, its definition does not. Probably should be spelled srly.

HAVE – pronounced with a long A – the condition of being obedient to rules. Example: parent tells child to be have.

An oxymoron I haven’t seen yet (if it has been published, my apologies to the author): Old News

I will be adding to this list as the thought pops up. If you have any to add, I would welcome the comment; that way I can give you credit.

Some other words I think Webster missed:

PERFURGER – the perfect hamburger

Of course, then PERFOG = the perfect hot dog

ROOTH – gentility; a roothless person has none; note I have corrected the spelling of ruthless

COUTHLESSNESS – lack of suavity. This should really be spelled coothlessness. Besides, that way coothless could rhyme with toothless for poets.

RULY – the condition of being in order, as compared to being unruly. Probably should be spelled rooly

SURLY – the condition of having a lot of surl. While this word already exists, its definition does not. Probably should be spelled srly.

HAVE – pronounced with a long A – the condition of being obedient to rules. Example: parent tells child to be have.

TELEVERSION -- the quality of television system you have. For instance, in version one you have a CRT screen, diodes, manual on/off and 13 channels. In version 10 you have a 60" plasma screen, Xbox, hi-def, surround sound, 2000 channels and 14 remotes.

From Garfield syndicate - I couldn't resist. Frisbeetarianism: the belief that when you die your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

MOMAGE – the career of being a Mother. Some people just give birth to children. A person who practices Momage puts forth the effort to raise those children, giving advice and guidance when needed, and standing by and hurting for the children at other times.


I will be adding to this list as the thoughts pop up. If you have any to add, I would welcome the comment; that way I can give you credit.


Ó COPYRIGHT 2013: BONNIE-JEAN ROHNER. All rights reserved. This text cannot be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the author.


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      Ryne 2 years ago

      Whoever edits and puhbeslis these articles really knows what they're doing.

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