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The Blessing of Looking Backwards

Updated on November 29, 2013

Looking Now

Look at it that then
Such a shock.

"So sad" they said

"The poor girl"

"Her poor family"
"How could he do it?"

Look at it that day,
"What do you mean you never loved me?"

"What can I do to make you love me?"

"Don"t say anymore,

Please

Don"t say anymore"

Look at it a few months later,
It's black comedy

"Can you believe I have an unused wedding dress?"
"A honeymoon by myself?"
"Margarita anyone?"

Look at it a few years later,
It's a melancholy story

A regret
I wish I had gotten an apology

"Do you wish you had done it better?"
"I wonder what would have happened"

"I will never beg again"


Look at it twenty years later,
My own badge of courage

Look at what I came through
Look at where I ended up
Look at who I have now

If I only look now, it’s just a thing that happened.

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    • Theater girl profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      I appreciate that the most. I try to be....but I am glad that you read that through the piece. Blessings to you!

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      I see a strong woman behind this piece. Lovely!

    • Theater girl profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      Anytime!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Aw... now I'm almost happy it took me two days to get back here... 2 days worth of smiling :D Thank you!

    • Theater girl profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      Oh Cat, what nice things you say! But I agree. If we don't hit bottom, we have no idea what true happiness feels and looks like. It takes a while to get here...but worth it! And I am not the only lovely person having this conversation!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Theater girl,

      Oh, that's so true! I always say; what doesn't kill us makes us stronger... though it usually is very hard to accept in those moments of struggle. There really is not point in regret because everything is a learning experience. For every moment of pleasure we've walked through a moment of pain and those moments only make us appreciate the beautiful things even more. I agree! You've turned out to be a lovely person and you don't seemed to be bitter or resentful, which can be particularly challenging in itself.

      I love it, I do! Blessings to you!

      Cat

    • Theater girl profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      I am not sure Cat, but at least for myself...I would not change a thing of how I got here, who I have met along the way, and where I am now! There is so much hope! But it took me a long time to get here too!

      I appreciate you reading this one! I wanted to know what you thought. And thanks for the sharing! It always helps to put it out there! Blessings to you!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Theater girl,

      Well it certainly took me long enough to get here... story of my life? :-)

      I don't know what's more sad... going there or never even having made it that far... you've been at least a step ahead of me :-)

      I can certainly relate to this whole piece and what an awesome message 'it's just a thing that happened' ahhh, I like getting to that place!

      Voted up and many others and sharing!

      Cat

    • Theater girl profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      I am so glad that it did! If nothing else, It taught me a great deal and I am happy in some way, writing about it helps others! I would not change a thing , even if I could! Blessings to you and thanks for the compliment!

    • ocfireflies profile image

      ocfireflies 4 years ago from North Carolina

      By sharing your experience and so eloquently I must add, you have provided me with courage.

      Thank You!

    • Theater girl profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      Thank you again long time mother....I am truly blessed, and I would not change a thing of how things happened! Thank you for the visit, the votes and the comments!

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 4 years ago from Australia

      A lot of good things can happen in 20 years. My favourite line is "Look at who I have now."

      Voted up +.

    • Theater girl profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      Thank you! I have been most unsure about publishing this one......I am glad and appreciative of your comment :)

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 4 years ago from California

      Packed with emotion--you have an intensity here that just grabs the reader

    • Theater girl profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      Yes indeed it does! Thanks for the visit and the comment, again!

    • wayne barrett profile image

      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Time not only heals...it sheds the light on reality!

    • Theater girl profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      Travmaj, your comment brought a tear....thank you for your heartfelt words are most appreciated!

    • travmaj profile image

      travmaj 4 years ago from australia

      This is so well written. Looking back with the realisation that time has eased the pain and finally presented something more exquisite.

      A tough, bumpy road - I always wish we didn't have to experience such agony to appreciate what we truly are and where we belong.

    • Theater girl profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      thank you! That was my humble attempt to do so...and I thank you for your kindness. Blessings to you ;)

    • MrsBrownsParlour profile image

      Lurana Brown 4 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

      I love the shifting perspectives from different points in time...this poem reveals much strength and character.

    • Theater girl profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      @mhatter thank you for your visits and your kind encouragement! It is greatly appreciated!

      @rdsparrowriter you are welcome! I am glad you liked it and blessings to you as well!

    • rdsparrowriter profile image

      rdsparrowriter 4 years ago

      Something to learn from your poem. Thank you for sharing this encouraging poem. God bless you!

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you for sharing your perspective. By your words, you seem to be a positive person.

    • Theater girl profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      Oh rest assured, jayewisdom, I am exactly where I was meant to be, and I did avoid disaster! Thank you for the support and the vote up!

    • JayeWisdom profile image

      Jaye Denman 4 years ago from Deep South, USA

      The intensity of emotion we feel from devastating events--which we feel will break us at the time--loses its power as months and years go by. While I'm sure it was a dreadful thing to happen then, you were probably saved from much worse disaster. It was much better than later wishing you hadn't worn that wedding dress into an unhappy marriage.

      Voted Up++

      Jaye

    • Theater girl profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      Thank you Sunnyriver! And thank you for the generous compliment! I will pay you a visit soon!

    • Sunny River profile image

      Sunny River 4 years ago from A Place Without A Name which resides somewhere between Fantasy and Belief, just north of Reality

      Touching and heartbreaking, but lovely. The strength underneath it all showed through.

    • Theater girl profile image
      Author

      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      Thank you for saying that! I was unsure about writing about this....so I appreciate it!

    • HattieMattieMae profile image

      HattieMattieMae 4 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

      Yes those moments in life that make you a stronger person, as well as courageous and brave. :)