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The Call That Changed My Life

Updated on May 7, 2012
"I Always Hated Pink" by me. Sharpies and paint help me pass the time.
"I Always Hated Pink" by me. Sharpies and paint help me pass the time.

Short

phone message

“We found something”

Instant numbness

More testing

Scheduled

Hang up

Cry for an hour

as my death

plays out in my mind

Feel so old

but too young

to deal with this

I get up

wipe my tears

Scold myself

Pray

and

I wait.


©LMY 5.7.2012


Related Hub: http://eclecticfusion.hubpages.com/hub/So-Youve-Scheduled-Your-Very-First-Mammogram

MCN: CCV2B-CSFN3-D5V2T © copyright 2012-05-07 17:49:43 UTC - All Rights Reserved
MCN: CCV2B-CSFN3-D5V2T © copyright 2012-05-07 17:49:43 UTC - All Rights Reserved

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    • cleaner3 profile image

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      Lisa, be strong. it isn't always as bad as you think it is. my wife went through this and you really don't know if it is bad or bad yet. keep your hopes up and thinkn positive I know it is easy to say that but your body responds to positive thought s ,. Love you and will pray with you

    • xstatic profile image

      Jim Higgins 5 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

      My wife is a twenty plus year survivor of breast cancer.

      All who read this hope that it is a poem like others that you write, not a life crisis in real time. In either case, it is brave writing. We will all have hope in our hearts if this is happening now.

    • EclecticFusion profile image
      Author

      Lisa 5 years ago from Tennessee

      Michael, thank you for your comforting words. They tell me now to worry, but that's easier said than done. I'll know more on the 16th. Thank you for your support!

    • EclecticFusion profile image
      Author

      Lisa 5 years ago from Tennessee

      xstatic, this is actually real life and it's happening at the moment. I'm trying not to worry and trying to stay busy until I have my ultrasound on the 16th. I'm staying positive! Thank you so much for your comment and encouraging words!

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Put your faith and trust in the Lord. I know He'll see you through this. Besides my prayers will help and keep positive above all else. Hugs from Riga and God bless.

    • EclecticFusion profile image
      Author

      Lisa 5 years ago from Tennessee

      Gypsy, thank you so much! Your kindness and prayers will keep me thinking positive thoughts!

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      Positive thoughts heading your way, Eclectric. *hugs*

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Damn Lisa, I have no words. Everything that can be said sounds trite and meaningless...don't worry? who the hell wouldn't worry? who the hell wouldn't be scared to death? I wish you peace; I send you comfort; I pray!

    • EclecticFusion profile image
      Author

      Lisa 5 years ago from Tennessee

      TToombs08, thank you!

    • EclecticFusion profile image
      Author

      Lisa 5 years ago from Tennessee

      Bill, I worry about things when there's nothing to worry about so I'm pretty much doomed as far as that goes. I'm trying to stay busy so hopefully the time will fly by! I go on the 16th for the ultrasound, but before that, I will celebrate my birthday this Saturday! I need a big party! Thank you so much for your prayers. I really appreciate them and I'm very thankful you care enough to say them for me!

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 5 years ago from southern USA

      Oh, most precious one Lisa, I am praying right now for you. This same thing happened to me last year, and His peace just rained down on me, the God of all comfort, and I am praying this for you. He knows you and your every thought. He is near to the brokenhearted. I pray that you have family and many friends who can be with you through this as well. Keep us posted as we continue to pray. He healed me last year. Don't know if this helps any, but I did write about my experience on HubPages, as it was truly a miracle of healing. In His Love, Faith Reaper

    • kj force profile image

      kjforce 5 years ago from Florida

      Happy Birthday to you...and a Happy Mother's Day....

      just know if you need someone to listen, I'm here for you....

    • brackenb profile image

      brackenb 5 years ago

      I wish you well and a positive future. Be as strong as you can be. My thoughts are with you.

    • cleaner3 profile image

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      Happy Birthday Lisa, you are the best!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Much Love and prayers

      Michael

    • EclecticFusion profile image
      Author

      Lisa 5 years ago from Tennessee

      Faith Reaper, thank you for the prayers! I'm staying positive and I keep telling myself that everything will be just fine! I appreciate your kindness!

    • EclecticFusion profile image
      Author

      Lisa 5 years ago from Tennessee

      kj force, thank you! I appreciate the offer!

    • EclecticFusion profile image
      Author

      Lisa 5 years ago from Tennessee

      brackenb, thank you so much!

    • EclecticFusion profile image
      Author

      Lisa 5 years ago from Tennessee

      Michael, aw thanks! I think you are the best!

    • DFiduccia profile image

      DFiduccia 5 years ago from Las Vegas

      I will have positive thoughts about you.

      DF

    • EclecticFusion profile image
      Author

      Lisa 5 years ago from Tennessee

      DFiduccia, thank you! I really appreciate that!

    • Amy Becherer profile image

      Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      I know I would feel scared and more alone than I am. Even with a partner, however, I would feel alone. I know I am only a "virtual" friend, useless in any concrete way, but know that I am thinking of you.

    • EclecticFusion profile image
      Author

      Lisa 5 years ago from Tennessee

      Amy, thank you very much! I appreciate your kindness!

    • EclecticFusion profile image
      Author

      Lisa 5 years ago from Tennessee

      5.16 Just a quick update. I had my ultrasound today and the doctor said he wasn't sure what it is. He is almost positive it's a cyst and benign, but he said I needed to have a needle biopsy done to be sure. So, that's the next thing for me to worry about. No appointment date set just yet. I so wanted to leave there today with an answer - good or bad - but I'm still in the dark. Boo. Thanks for all the prayers!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 5 years ago from California

      You are such a brave woman. I am sending good thoughts your way!

    • EclecticFusion profile image
      Author

      Lisa 5 years ago from Tennessee

      Audrey, thank you for thinking of me! I really appreciate it!

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