The Demoralization Demonstration Act of 2013
Strived to always be the best of the best
In work and in living life outside of the professional boundaries
Not sure if always managed to do so
Wasn't for a lack of trying to succeed
Ended up a little lucky this season with a string of successes
Lucked my way into a plum position as a shoo-in to win
Just about any award that was there for the taking
Not entirely eager to make acceptance speeches
Saying thank you and getting off the stage
Began the year as a pillar of commercial high society
Put upon every awards show like a prized ham
Dancing until dawn with the most desirable bachelors
Who could turn any woman into a puddle of buttered mush
Considered to be a personal favorite of Roger Ebert's
Someone who was even on his speed dial
The critical tables have turned over rather quickly
Over the course of a few rapid weeks
Been chased all over Hollywood and Beverly Hills
With a pitchfork and a lethal tongued Gene Siskel
Placed on every Worst Dressed List by Mr. Blackwell
And the wickedly tough Joan Rivers
Who always had a comment for everything
Latest venture got a failing grade on Rotten Tomatoes
Placed in the same disgusting category as Lindsay Lohan
Even though there's much more substance involved in your case
With a B.A. in English and a minor in History to prove it
Ready to move into the next phase of the week
Where I'll be a lot more like Alfred Hitchcock's Notorious
Than being on the run from reality in To Catch a Thief
Stuck with being a little slightly mad around the edges
And looking to play catch up in the meantime
Trying to make the new year a much better one
Only time will tell which direction it goes.
