ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Diary of Blurred Vision

Updated on September 23, 2012

Don’t look at my face
Or the way I walk
Instead read my words
And the way I talk
Have you ever seen tears
Of a grown man
As he passes you by
Trying to find himself again?
The blood that runs through me
Is covered by the sand that falls
I think of death often now
As I hear the afterlife’s calls
There is a fear of loss
The loss of my last chance
The last chance of what I can be
And it’s not about romance
I have no time for compromise
Except for my children’s needs
But no partner may dig up
The sprouts from my seeds
There is nothing you can say
I need no help or suggestion
For what grows unencumbered
Will be wild and free
As the numbers on my days grow
I find what is loneliness to others
Is liberation for me
And my tortured soul brothers
It’s not about what we will do today
Or keeping your boredom at bay
For these things do not come from within
But instead from what you are unable to say
Can you let go
Or do you need what you do not truly love?
As he breathes heavily next to you at night
Do you thank God you are his little dove?
If so I truly envy you
Because I can’t feel that way about anyone
I know it is wrong
Yet what I feel is that kind of love is done
There is a purpose that has enveloped my mind
It is all I can think about
I don’t feel that it is human in form
I believe it is in the seeds that will soon sprout
The further I go into the meaningless of life
The faster I wish to travel
I am surrounded by a blur of black and white
As all of life has become asphalt and gravel
The faces I am able to see are alive and dead
They are the faces of approval of my ways
For they think the same way as I
And are able to walk easily in the maze
A kindred soul never leaves your life
Even as they pass you feel their mind
You remember the words they spoke
And in their passing is the meaning you try to find
Do you know someone from long ago?
Someone beyond sex and beyond commitment
Someone who is the air you breathe
Someone who understood your need for fulfillment
They are always with you even if they are gone
You cannot create this person from another
The empty chair next to you is filled by your soul mates
It is better to be with them than with any other
There are no judgments concerning compatibility
We do not carry each other’s cross
It is not your choice
It is only the courage to risk the loss
You will either lose me or yourself
But if who you are is who I am then what you will find
Is my smiling face walking on the gravel
And man or woman you will be my kind


working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)